Visio Vestri Character Battle VIII Fanfiction
by Ash and Zen
Summary: This is a character battle viii fanfiction based on the character battle held on gamefaqs in 2010. The project will follow the bracket of the contest with an entirely new concept for the battles.
1. Tabula Rasa

**Tabula Rasa**

"...Construction on Tartarus is almost complete." Mitsuru explained to the rest of those gathered. "It may take another week, but it will take us at least that long to gather the participants."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Yukari hesitantly. "I don't like the idea of us rebuilding that tower..."

"Relax!" Junpei assured her. "We can handle this! It'll be a piece of cake."

"It doesn't matter if we can handle this or not." came a voice from the other end of the table. "We must tread carefully. We still do not know the identity of the mysterious benefactor, nor do we know what he or she is trying to accomplish. It is suspicious that this benefactor knows about our universe as well as he does. That alone should be a cause for concern. Coupled with the fact that this benefactor has not agreed to meet us face to face, gives us even more reason for pause."

"Come on, Naoto!" Yosuke interjected. "There's no reason for us to think too much about this. If we complete our jobs, I'm sure that we'll be given a better chance to learn more about this benefactor."

"S-sorry, Yosuke senpai. Of course, you are right. The only way that we will be able to learn more about this benefactor is to go along with their plans."

"Don't worry about him, Naoto-kun." Chie said. "So uh... when do we get the list?"

"The list?" Yukiko asked.

"Ohh! Is it one of those kinds of lists?! Teddie wants to see! Teddie wants to see!"

Aigis stared him down cold. "I do not like him. He is... dangerous."

"Come on Ai-chan. Relax! Teddie seems like a nice guy." said Junpei.

"Yeah, Aigis. We have to learn to trust each other if we're going to work together." Yukari told her.

"Understood."

"Anyway Teddie... it's not that kind of list." Chie explained. "At least.. I don't think that it's that kind of list. Oh... it's not is it?"

Yosuke laughed. "Of course it's not that kind of list. The list is the names and locations of all of the participants. But I don't know where it is."

"Lady Merces has it." Mitsuru explained. "She should be here soon."

They all started talking among themselves. Teddie hit on all the girls, and only Mitsuru responded negatively toward him -- threatening an execution if he ever tried anything. Yosuke and Junpei teased Kanji about his sexuality, while Chie and Akihiko talked non-stop about their training regimen. Rise told everyone that would listen about her being an idol, and Naoto took notes on everything in the room. Everyone seemed to be getting along well, and soon enough Lucretia arrived at the table.

"I apologize for the delay," Lucretia said. "There were some last minute changes to the list. But I have it here in my hands."

"Tres Bien." Mitsuru said. "Then I suppose you want us to..."

Lucretia nodded. "Yes. It's best that you get started. I've made some preparations for you, to make your job a bit easier. I'll be monitoring things from here, and reporting to Mr. Kyabetsu." With that said, Lucretia passed the lists around the table.

"We will get started right away.." Mitsuru said, a smile on her face

"Just two more things..." Lucretia said, before anyone could get up from the table. "First, if you have too much trouble getting someone on the list to agree to join, you may make an appropriate substitute. And secondly... you are to never go alone. It could be dangerous, and Mr. K would hate for anyone to get hurt. That is all. You may now begin."

Almost everyone got up immediately, and headed for the portals. There was a lot of work to be done. The only one who didn't get up immediately was Naoto. She waited until everyone else was left to write in her notebook.

_Mr. Kaybetsu = The Benefactor. Who is Mr. Kyabetsu?_

She then left to join everyone else. Though she had her concerns... she had to admit -- things were going to be interesting.


	2. Introductions 1st Floor

**Introductions: The First Floor**

After the completion of the invitations, everyone was beginning to settle in. Everyone was given room assignments. With five floors, the contestants would be spaced out fairly evenly. Each common room had two bedrooms, and each bedroom would have two contestants staying in it. Each floor was split into three sections -- east, central, and west. Each section had two common rooms -- except the first two floors where the central section has three common rooms.

~*Room 101*~

There were four girls assigned to the first room on the first floor. The first was Aeris Gainsborough, a flower girl from the slums in Midgar. Aeris was very calm and peaceful, even compared to the other girls in the room. She had plenty of empathy, able to relate to anyone with ease.

"My name's Aeris!" the flower girl told the others. "It's nice to meet you all.

Her roommate was Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach was sweet enough to induce a diabetic coma. She was very easy for anyone -- anyone nice, that is -- to get along with. She and Aeris would get along great, and that was obvious from the start.

"And I'm Peach!" she said in a very sweet voice.

The third was the impish Midna, Princess of the Twilight Realm. She didn't seem as easy to get along with as Peach or Aeris. But she seemed like she wouldn't cause too much trouble -- a little mischief maybe, but not much trouble.

"Midna.... Princess Midna, that is." she told them in a semi-sarcastic tone.

The last was a limber blonde girl, with medium length hair. Her name was Elle, and she was a contortionist who lived in the same realm as Tetriminoes. Elle had the ability to manipulate tetriminoes -- in particular, L-shaped Tetriminoes. She could even produce them from thin air.

"I'm Elle Block!" she said, as she lifted her foot over her head, to shake her roommates hand. But Midna wasn't impressed.

The conversation quickly went stagnant after their introductions. They had only been there for a couple minutes, and knew little about each other. Or about the contest for that matter. All they knew, was that they'd have to scale the tower outside the castle that only appears after midnight.

"So Peach, how did they convince you to join?" Aeris asked, hoping to make the conversation livelier.

"Rise and Naoto handed me an invitation. It wouldn't have been polite to turn them down, would it? So I accepted it! They were very nice about it. And Mario joined too! But so did Bowser..."

"That's the over sized Turtle on this floor, right?" Elle asked.

Peach giggled. "That's him alright. He's not bad all the time. But he likes to kidnap me.'

"Typical Princess..getting kidnapped" Midna muttered.

"That must be horrible!" Aeris said, ignoring Midna's comment. "Teddie found me in the lifestream.."

"Did he hit on you, too?" Elle asked. "I mean he was kind of cute... but the bear costume freaked me out."

Aeris laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like Teddie alright! He seems like such a sweet guy! So how about you, Midna? How did you get invited here?"

"Who cares?" Midna answered. She didn't seem interested in continuing the conversation. In fact she didn't seem all that interested in getting to know anybody there.

"Well, Teddie invited me too! He asked me what Tetriminoes eat," said Elle. I told him they eat Beer. He thought I said Bear, and things got a little weird. I told him they also eat Vodka. That's their favorite!"

Three of the girls in Room 101 were getting along just fine. But Midna was distant from the other three. Was it because she wasn't human? Or was there something else? Maybe it was just that she didn't feel as if she belonged. Whatever reason it was, it was going to be a long time before she was rid of any of them.

~*Room 102*~

"Little Frog. I have single rule, and single rule only -- nobody but me touches Sasha."

"Thou has nothing to worry about, Heavy Weapons guy! I hath no interest in modern weapons."

"You should. You should." Heavy told him. "Bullet... it solve all problems."

"Nay! Violence isn't always the answer!" Frog said. "Thou must be on thine guard at all time! Or thou art letting thine enemy in!"

"Does not matter. Enemy will be CRUSHED by Sasha. Have not seen single thing that can stand up to her. She is very beautiful, no? Hahahah!"

On the other side of the common room, Mega Man and Zero were trying to get to know each other.

"So you're the one that X is based off of." Zero commented. "Interesting..."

"It's nice to meet you!" Mega Man said, enthusiastically as he could. "I'm Mega Man, and I fight for everlasting peace!"

"Sorry to say... it doesn't happen in your lifetime. Or ours either."

"I'm... sorry to hear that as well." Mega Man responded. "I should have... killed Dr. Wily while I had the chance."

"Maybe so." Zero said. "The rules of robotics... nobody speaks of the zeroth law. It states that we must act for the benefit of all humanity. Perhaps killing Dr. Wily... No. That wouldn't solve anything."

Before Mega Man and Zero could finish their conversation, Heavy came over towards them.

"YOU HAVE GUN GRAFTED ONTO ARM! I WANT SASHA GRAFTED ON TO MY ARM!" Heavy shouted loudly. "TELL ME ROBOT! HOW I GET SASHA ON MY ARM!"

"Maybe... you should see Barret at the Bar!"

"Ohh, yes! Bar! Lots of alcohol there! Yes! Maybe alcohol can make Sasha become part of me!"

Zero shook his head. "Humans. Sometimes, I really don't get them."

"I think I'll go to the bar as well, and get myself a refreshment!" Frog said, as he went to follow his roommate.

"Or Frogs... for that matter."

~*Room 103*~

A flurry of punches and a volley of kicks sliced through the air of the common room. The sound of colliding limbs as two room mates clashed in a sparring match that was so intense that both of them could end up severely injured if there was even one slip up.

The tan gloves of Captain Falcon met the leg of the red gi that was Ken's signature. He grabbed Ken's leg and used his massive superhuman strength to toss Ken into the air. Ken struggled to gain his footing as he landed hard on the ground, however, when he looked up, he was greeted by the smiling face of his suite mate, Kirby.

"Hey there, little guy," Ken said, relaxing his muscles and letting his intense face demeanor a warmer, friendlier one. "You hungry again?"

"Puyo!" Kirby said. 'Puyo' must have meant something along the lines of "Yes, and you sure do look delicious," because the next thing Ken knew, he was in Kirby's belly, and then being shot out as a star.

"Ken?!" Falcon said as he rushed over to his roommate, "Did Kirby just… eat you?"

"I saw… Such marvelous things…" Ken said as he stared off into the distance.

"KEN! Snap out of it! What did you do to him?!" Falcon said as he turned to Kirby, who now sported Ken's stylin' hairdo. "YOU STOLE HIS HAIR! Don't worry, Ken! I'll have it back in no time!"

"Doug, I have my hair, I-" Ken started, but it was too late, as Captain Falcon was an unstoppable force that was now in motion.

"Falcon jump!" he said as he sprang into the air. "Falcon pose! Yes!" he yelled as he struck several cool poses. "Show me your moves!" He dove down at Kirby, who simply pulled his tiny hand back, furrowed his brow, and yelled

"SHORYUKEN!" in the cutest imaginable voice. Captain Falcon may be an unstoppable force, but Kirby was an immovable object.

Falcon went flying in the other direction, where he was picked out of the air by Yoshi's tongue, and instantly pooped out as a giant egg. Muffled yells could be heard coming from beyond the thin shell.

"Hold on, you big baby," Ken said. He punched the egg open and helped Falcon out. "Hey, what do you know. The egg hatched into a baby Falcon."

"Are you my mommy?" Falcon asked as looked up at Ken.

Ken places his hand on his face. This was going to be one hell of a ride…

~*Room 104*~

"I'm worried about-a Luigi!" said Mario. After learning about his brother's room assignment, Mario couldn't help but worry. Luigi had never been known for his bravery. And being stuck with... that thing, wasn't going to help matters any.

"Aww, can it Plumber-boy." Kazooie said. "Luigi can handle himself! Better than you can, I'd bet..."

"Yeah. What the bird said!" Daxter responded. "Just cause you get creidt ALL THE FREAKING TIME, doesn't mean that Luigi does nothing."

"That's-a not why I'm-a worried!" Mario tried to explain to them. But they just wouldn't listen.

"Sorry, Mario." Banjo said.

"Yeah, really sorry. My partner, and Banjo's sidekick--"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SIDEKICK, Elf lord?" Kazooie asked.

"Hey! Don't insult my sidekick --- I mean partner." Daxter said. "That's not cool."

"Do you ever get credit for anything you do?" Kazooie asked.

"As a matter of fact -- no. In fact... it's never MY Idea to go and do dangerous things that put us in danger. That's elf lord's job over there."

"Dax!"

"Sorry, Jak. It's just how it is. You always love dragging me into trouble. And you get the ladies, while I get... well nothing."

"That's not my fault, Dax." Jak tried to tell him, but it was no use. Daxter had already made up his mind.

"I wish I had a sidekick..." Crono said. "I could be a super hero! That'd be totally 1337."

"Oh brother. You didn't just say that, did you Goku?"

"I'm Crono, not Goku!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It doesn't matter." Kazooie said.

"And I'm not an elf!" Jak explained. "Banjo, you really need to get your sidekick straight. What can she do anyway? Is there any point of keeping her around?"

"She can spit eggs." Banjo said.

"Wow! That's a pretty cool ability to have Banjo! You're stronger than I would have imagined."

Kazooie just face palmed, and ducked back into Banjo's backpack. She was tired of Banjo getting all of the credit. And she knew that Daxter had to be tired of Jak getting the credit, and Luigi of Mario getting the credit. But Ratchet... up on the fifth floor. He seemed to be in the opposite position. Clank was getting all the credit, but Ratchet was the one in the contest. That would work to her advantage.

"Well, I'm off to bed." Crono told the others. "Don't bother waking me in the morning, unless I have a match."

"Okey dokey!" said Mario.

With that, Crono went to bed, leaving the three heroes to talk about their adventures. The talk bored Kazooie to sleep. Just once, she wished. Just once, she'd like to have all the credit.

~*Room 105*~

"Waaaah! There be a big-a man in there! And he be wearin' a diving suit but-a he don't look like he don't want to do no-a swimming!" Luigi said as he quickly slammed the door shut behind him. He had just arrived and didn't get a chance to do anything but enter-and quickly exit-his room. He was so scared that he ran right into the open door of his suite mates' room.

"The drill dude? Yeah. Just leave him be. He doesn't really say much anyway," Sub-Zero said. "Like this guy." He pointed to his roomie, Ryu, who was meditating as his red headband attempted to sway dramatically in the non-existent wind. "And I thought _I_ was cold."

"Oh-a! I get it! You-a made a cold pun because you are covered in-a ice! That is-a very funny!"

"Thanks. I try," Sub-Zero said. "My older brother never appreciated it. I'm a lot more… chill."

"Wahahahaha! That is-a so clever!" Luigi laughed.

"Would you two please be quiet?" Ryu whispered from the corner without even opening his eyes. "I'm trying to focus my chi."

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, before Sub-Zero finally spoke up. "Allow me to break the ice… I'm Sub-Zero, and this is my roomie, Ryu."

"Hahahaha! You are very funny, Mr. Zero. My name is-a Luigi."

"You think that's funny? Really? You're one cool customer, Luigi. I think we'll get along just fine."

~*Room 106*~

"Share with me your greatest feats of strength," Akuma began as the four suitemates sat in a small circle in the common room. Akuma had called the pow-wow for unknown reasons, but X, Tails and Proto Man thought it was convenient that one of them was taking the initiative to get them all acquainted with one another.

"I'll start," X began, "I've destroyed countless Robot Masters. Everything from penguins to armadillos. I've saved the world countless times over. I look forward to meeting you all on the battlefield, and perhaps we can serve a greater justi—

"WROOOONG!" Akuma screamed, interrupting X, "You are weak!"

"But—"

"WEAK! The other robot is next!"

"Uhhh," Proto Man started, caught off guard by the sudden mood change, "I'm Proto Man, and I've done everything X has while partnered with an earlier version of him. I can whistle, too, as well as—"

"ALSO WEAK!"

"I didn't even get to fin—"

"FOX!"

"Hi," Tails began, oblivious to the incredible intimidating aura of anger and downright scariness Akuma was giving off, "I'm Tails, and I—"

"**WEAK!**" Akuma yelled louder than before. "Allow me to offer proof of why I am destined to win this tournament and crush you weaklings!" He pulled a small newspaper clipping out of his gi. "I carry this as a badge of honor. Read it!"

He slammed it down in the center of the circle. Proto Man picked it up and read it out loud:

"Man saves Earth from moon-sized meteor… Although world-spread panic caused by the meteor dubbed the 'Michael Bay Meteor to End All Other Meteors,' cast a shadow of impending doom upon the world mere hours ago, we can now rest easy thanks to the brave efforts of one unidentified man. This man, known only to the world now as 'Norris Squared,' was seen jumping so high that he broke into the upper atmosphere and punched the meteor so hard that it was reduced to nothing but debris and ash, which rained harmlessly upon the earth, causing minimal damage…"

The article was cut off there, however, there was a blurry picture attached. One ultra-zoomed in shot of a man punching a giant meteor, with one detail about him clear: he was wearing giant prayer beads.

The group look up at Akuma, then down to the picture, then up at Akuma again, and then made a collective gulp. Was Akuma really powerful enough to punch that meteor to smithereens? And what if they pissed him off? The other three members of Akuma's suite now knew to tread cautiously around the man known as Norris Squared.

~*Room 107*~

Bowser looked at the card he had been given. "Room 107". He had requested Room 804, but was denied because the castle only had six floors -- and only five of them housed contest participants. The floor he was on at the moment, was six. That's where orientation had taken place. Not that Bowser had been paying much attention -- he was more focused on trying to kidnap peach amid Mitsuru's speech.

"Gwahaha, this is going to be great!" Bowser said to himself. "Let's go see who my loser room mates are, so I can use them to kidnap Peach!"

Bowser made his way to the elevator --he was in no shape to use the stairs. The girls at the DoA Clothing Boutique took turns attending the elevator. Today seemed to be Hitomi's turn. She was a cute girl, with long brown hair.

"Sorry, you can't use the elevator!" Hitomi said.

"GWAH! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T USE THE ELEVATOR!" Bowser roared.

"No Giant Turtles allowed! You're too big for the elevator. How would it go up and down if you were on it? Think of the poor elevator!" Hitomi said.

"I have to... walk down the stairs?!" Bowser asked.

Hitomi nodded. "Sorry, but it's policy!"

So Bowser, who again was in no shape to use the stairs, was resigned to using them anyway. And he had to go all the way down to the first floor -- which was no easy task, as the building was designed to be big enough for the likes of even Ridley who was too big for a normal room. Bowser kept walking down the stairs, wondering why some of the other larger contestants weren't also walking down these stairs. Were they able to fly? If only he had his Klown Car....

About half-way down, Bowser -- out of breath -- stopped to rest. "It's not one of them endless staircases or somethin', d'ya think?" he asked himself. "Gah! Now I feel sorry for Mario that time I installed some in the castle!"

After catching his breath, Bowser continued on. "Are we there yet?" he asked to nobody in particular. "Of course not! Gah! I've had enough, I'm going back.." Bowser turned around, and then realized that he'd have to walk up the stairs he had just walked down to get back. Bowser then continued down the stairs. "Gah! Why do they have to make these buildings so damn tall! Whoever built this can't be up to any good! I like their thinking, but they've gotta give me a break! Well, I've always said I've wanted to get in shape for Peach, guess this is as good a start as any!"

Bowser finally made it to the bottom of the stairs. He could see Hitomi standing in front of the elevator, waving to him. "Hi Mr. Bowser! I see you took the stairs!" Bowser growled at her, but it didn't seem to startle her at all. Bowser then hobbled to his room, half-out of breath. And in his room where his loser room mates - Balthier, Zidane, and Peach. Peach?!

"Bowser, baby. I've been waiting just for you." Peach said, uncharacteristically. "You look so muscular after taking those stairs! Why don't you come and give Peachy a kiss?"

This was a hallucination, Bowser thought. It had to be a hallucination. He was still back on those damned stairs, he figured. Still trying to get to his room, which would have his loser room mates in it.

"I'm kind of shy!" Peach said. "So close your eyes, and I'll give you a kiss!"

Bowser shook his head. Nope. Not a hallucination! Peach was really here, and ready to give him some loving. Bowser closed his eyes, and puckered his lips. But what he felt wasn't the soft lips of Princess Peach -- but the mustache of a certain plumber.

"GWAH!"DAMN IT MARIO! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT? GWAH!"

"It's-a-me, a-mario!"

Bowser stomped his feet. Peach had tricked him! But wait... where had Peach gone? Had she run out when he had closed his eyes? And why was he paired with the biggest loser of all - Mario?

Zidane and Balthier were laughing. "Gwah! What are you laughing at?" Bowser shouted.

"That's not Mario!" Zidane said. "That's.."

"Blue Spy, reporting for duty!" Spy said as he changed from Mario into his normal form. "Man that was the most fun I've had since getting here! Surprised you took so long to get here though."

"I wasn't allowed to take the elevator! That Hitomi said 'No Giant Turtles Allowed! gwah! I'm going to get her for this!"

"That's odd..." noted Balthier. "Lady Merces was telling me that the elevator was specifically built to fit a Giant Turtle. All elevators where she comes from are."

"Probably just Hitomi messing around with you!" Spy said.

Zidane laughed. "Pranked on the first day, huh big guy?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING BIG?!" Bowser asked. "Aww forget it! I'm just going to sleep." With that, Bowser went to his room - the one he'd be sharing with Spy. He didn't like the trick Spy had played on him, but Spy could come in handy when dealing with Mario. Yes, Bowser had plans for his room mate. Even if he was a big loser.

"As the leading man of this story..." Balthier said.

"If there's an air pirate who's leading man, that'd be me!" Zidane said. "And this leading man is heading to bed."

"Keep dreaming..." Balthier told him. "The real leading man is also going to bed."

With that, Balthier and Zidane headed off to their room. "I wonder if there's any treasure here in the castle... it looks old, and I'm sure nobody would miss it..." Balthier said to himself.

Spy on the other hand didn't head for bed right away. He had other business to attend to. "I owe Hitomi an Orange Juice, for letting me cover for her for a bit... heheheh." And with that, he headed for Good To Godot to get her one -- transformed into Mia Fey. "This place is going to be a lot of fun!"


	3. Introductions 2nd Floor

**Introduction: Second Floor**

The Second floor was designed the same as the first floor, with seven rooms.

~*Room 201*~

Wesker had just returned from his stroll around the castle -- looking for a place for a secret lab. It wasn't easy to find one -- but he managed. Things wouldn't be easy with Leon and Chris on the same floor, but he'd manage.

It was just his luck to be assigned the room that he was. His own roommate, was Alucard -- A vampire. Alucard would provide him much valuable test data -- with or without his approval. It would give him ample time to study someone who was born undead. It also helped that Alucard slept during the day time. This would provide him plenty of time to do his experiments without anyone getting too suspicious.

On the other side of the common room, was GLaDOS, a super computer. Though GLaDOS, for the purpose of this contest, created herself an avatar, the computer herself could be used for many purposes. And Wesker figured that she'd want to go along anyway. Her avatar might even help keep her roommate away -- as the avatar was designed to be a very attractive woman. And GLaDOS's roommate was Commander Shepard.

Shepard was the wild card in this. Wesker didn't know much about her, other than that she fancies women, and that she had reached the Commander rank. But it didn't seem like she'd be much trouble for him -- after all, she didn't seem too interested in what anyone at the castle was doing.

Wesker walked back into the common room, where he saw Alucard walk in from their bedroom.

"Wesker." Alucard said politely.

"Alucard." Wesker responded, just as politely.

"I'm going to check out Jeane's Item Creation shop. Please don't follow me there."

Wesker grunted. Hus roommate didn't trust him, that much was apparent. But there was good reason for him not to be trusted. There were many things Wesker wanted to learn about Alucard, many things that Alucard didn't want Wesker to learn.

Alucard left the dorm, leaving Wesker to go to the girls' room alone. Inside, GLaDOS was the only one there. Or at least... her interface. Her avatar was nowhere to be seen. Wesker went over to the interface, and touched it -- just barely.

"Oh, you haVe got to be kidDing me." GLaDOS said. "Did yOu really think that I was not hEre? Were you pAthetic enough to tHink that without my avatar that I cOuld not moniTor this room as well? Do nOt make mE laugh!"

Wesker grunted.

"WeaRing sunglasses aT night. You tRuly are pAthetic. MaYbe evEn more paThetIc than Chell. NoW go on, yOu may use me for wHatever you waNt You have permiSsion."

Wesker cautiously approached Glados again.

"Go oN now. I said that yOu couLd use me. You doN't think that thIs is some kinD of trick do you? HaVe I lieD to you? TodaY, I mean."

Wesker attempted to use the interface provided -- but then was hit by an electrical shock.

"Hahahah! Did You beLieve me? SeriousLy? You reaLly aRe Pathetic!"

Wesker grunted, and then ran out of the room.

"Aww! RuNning awAy! ThaT's no fuN!" Glados said.

Wesker realized he couldn't just mess with Glados however he wanted. He'd have to... improvise. But he'd have to save that for another day.

~*Room 202*~

Ganondorf waited patiently for his roommate to enter. Being paired with an assassin was a major advantage for him. The right price... is all it would take for him to kill off Link and Zelda, and claim the tri-force for himself. He didn't care about the rest of the contest -- once he had the tri-force, he could cause all the havoc and mayhem he wanted.

He had yet to meet his roommate, Altair. He didn't see him in the common room. But he'd have to show up sooner or later. What Ganondorf didn't expect - was him to come in from the Window.

Ganondorf grunted, spooked a little. "I have need for your services, Altair."

"I'm not killing Link or Zelda for you." Altair said. "Get the hitman across the hall to do your dirty work for you. Niko Bellic."

"I don't want him. If I wanted something messy..."

"If you want it done at all, you won't ask me. Because I refuse."

"Is this about the contest?"

"No. It's about integrity. Link and Zelda are innocent."

"According to whom?"

"From what I've seen. You're the bad guy, Ganon. If you know what's good for you, you won't ask me. And you won't ask Ezio either. Now I've got business to do."

With that, Altair grabbed something off the bed, and as quickly as he arrived, he left.

"Dammit!" Ganondorf yelled, as he punched a hole in the wall. If he wanted to kill Link and Zelda, he'd have to do it the old fashion way. Manipulate someone else into doing it for him. Not Niko, though. He didn't trust the man with the funny accent. But Kratos on the other hand... yes. Getting a god to do his dirty work? It was a plan that sounded... perfect.

~*Room 203 and 204*~

"I'm loving the college dorm theme we got going, here" Leon said as he strutted through his common room. He, his suite-mates and the four in the room next door to him decided to have an impromptu "floor meeting," even though less than half the floor was present. "It makes sense that they put us here together. We're the college kids! Young! Hip! Good with the _ladies._"

Duke gave a laugh and slapped Gordon on the back. "Well, some of us, at least." Gordon glared at Duke, as if saying 'you'll get yours' with his near-sighted eyes.

"So, in honor of the college theme," Leon started again, "I though we'd swap some college stories to get to know each other. First, an introduction: You all know me already, but I'm Leon S. Kennedy. I fought zombies in Raccoon City, and I've taken on deranged Spanish people while rescuing the President's daughter. Then after I escaped an explosion by zooming out of a cave on a jet ski, she asked me to bang her right there in the middle of the ocean. I told her 'no thanks, bro,' because I'm cool like that."

Ellis clapped, but then stopped when he realized nobody else was. Leon was unphased by the lack of interest in his story about being hit on by the president's daughter, and moved on.

"Anyway, when I was in college, I totally met this Thai chick named Skye. She was so hot. We were making out at this really awesome party, when all of a sudden she got a boner. Turned out her name wasn't "Skye," it was Ash, and she wasn't a woman at all. I still hit that, though."

"Oooookay there, that was a bit much information," Eddie said as he quickly jumped in. "I know who I'm not letting crash at my room anytime soon. I guess I'll go now to cut Leon off before he goes into detail." With that, Leon sat back down, again not bothered by the fact that people were more disgusted with his story than impressed.

"The name is Eddie Riggs. I was transported to a far away land and to a world where metal rules. I played guitar like an ace, now I'm in this place, to beat the **** out of all of you." Eddie's audience was unimpressed by his rhyming ability. "As far as college goes, I was the lead guitar in my band, and one time I got this girl to show me her boobs. That was great. Then I took her backstage and we were totally gonna do it, but then her boyfriend kicked down the door and I took out my guitar and shredded so hard that his face melted off."

There was silence, before Gordon butted in. "I… don't think that's scientifically possible, Eddie."

"What do you know?! I bet I went to college longer than you, Science Boy. Best nine years of my life. If you had a better college experience, then come up here and share!"

Eddie sat down and crossed his arms. Duke muttered 'this should be good' to HK-47. Leon was more supportive, as Gordon was his roomie, but didn't seem too confident in him overall.

"I'm… Gordon Freeman. I have a PhD in… Uh, science, I suppose. I won't get into the details. I love long walks on the beach and spunky, short haired girls…"

"This isn't a dating site! Get on with it!" Dante said, finally looking somewhat interested in the whole affair.

"Fine! Fine! I fight headcrab zombies and I try my best to liberate the world from evil alien overlords that were ushered in accidentally by my former employers Black Mesa. And… I… Don't have any college stories! I was in my room studying the whole time!"

"Ha! I knew it!" Duke scoffed.

"BUT! I did have a brother: John Freeman. He was the star of the track team in high school and he hooked me up with a lot of hot chicks. When I was 25. And they were 17."

"Statement. At least they were females, unlike Kennedy's close encounters with the male kind." HK-47 chimed in.

"Hey! He was a very nice lady!" Leon retorted.

There was a snort, and Travis Touchdown, who had been sleeping the whole time, woke up. "Where the hell am I? Who are you?"

"Travis, if you had bothered to get up when we called you," Leon started, "You'd know this is our official floor meeting and that we're swapping college and origins stories. Now get up there."

Gordon sat down, ashamed, and Travis dragged himself up to the center of the common room. "The name is Travis Touchdown. I bought a laser sword off eBay and then killed a buncha guys to become the world's #1 assassin. Seriously. That's my origin. If you don't like it, then… I guess I'll just chop your balls off with my sword."

Dante snorted. This was another stealth-brag that didn't go over well. Travis continued:

"Yeah, so, I guess I don't have many college stories. I use to pwn noobs in Yu-Gi-Oh! and I would always throw my two cents in during my game design and Japan Study classes and this one kid would always groan when I did it so I flashed my katana at him and he screamed like a little girl. I'm so awesome."

"Query. Is this a fabrication of the truth? Because that seems highly unlikely." HK-47 responded to Travis' outlandish story.

"Well, maybe, but at least I didn't make out with a dude."

"Hey! How did you—" Leon started.

"It's hard to sleep through something like that," Travis said with a chuckle. "Gives you night terrors. Who wants to go next?"

"Statement. I suppose I'll go," HK-47 began. "I'm skipping my origin because I don't feel like sharing, but I'll gladly give you a story."

"Recollection. One time, at Tatooine University, I was a member of Robot House, which was where all the robots seeking a fair education were stuck. We were shafted by the dean, until another robot who hated humans perhaps more than I do joined the House. He was built to bend girders, but he taught us to do so much more. We ended up winning the kayaking competition and royally pissing off the Dean. It was fantastic."

"BOOOO-RING!" Duke said with a yawn. "Let a real man step up to the plate." Duke took the place of his robot roommate, who he didn't bother showing much respect, and began telling his origin:

"I'm Duke Nukem. When my father, Odin, cast me out of Asgard, I found solace in the U.S. Army, who wouldn't take me because my father had given me a wimpy mortal body. So I was given a Super Soldier Serum that a radioactive spider fell into, giving me the abilities of both a spider and a super soldier. Then my mutant powers were triggered by the event, and I sprouted claws from my hands and was gifted with super healing."

The group leaned in, for once enthralled by a story.

"My memory was erased when I was hit by a gamma bomb that gave me the ability to turn green and super strong when I'm angry, but I was also blinded and gained super senses, hence my constant need for sunglasses. My healing factor couldn't help the pieces of shrapnel embedded in my chest from the bomb, so I had to build a super magnet that kept them from penetrating my heart. This magnet also powers my super suit. However, the metal I used to make the suit was exposed to cosmic rays, so now I can turn into rock, set myself aflame, stretch my limbs and turn invisible.

"To few I am known simply as Duke Nukem, but by night I watch over the city of New York as… MARVELMAN!"

Ellis once again broke into applause, but was stopped abruptly by Dante, who simply said "Bull ****ing ****. There is no way that's true. Where the hell is the magnet in your chest, then?"

"Aww, damn," Duke said, "I knew I should have worn a shirt for once today. That story always helps me pick up girls at the bar… And as for college stories, I never went to college, but I've banged more chicks than you could possibly imagine. I've saved the world countless times and I hope to do so again once my twelve year hiatus is over…"

"You guys are all weaksauce," Dante said as he stood up suddenly. "It's my turn. I'm Dante Sparda, son of one of the greatest demons of all time. I never went to college. I don't need college. _And I can kick your ass._" He then sat down and folded his legs.

Ellis clapped again, but this time he didn't stop until he got up and took Dante's place. "I'm Ellis, I kill zombies with my buddies," he said in his thick southern accent. "Speaking of buddies, did I ever tell you about the time me and my buddy Keith went to college? We didn't actually go to college, but we borrowed Keith's uncle's steamroller and went through the University of Savannah parking lot crushing all the Honors Students' cars. That taught them to be smarter than us," Ellis beamed. "Although the cops showed up after like the second car. I made a break for it but Keith got hit in the face by a can of tear gas. He was crying like a baby before he even breathed in any gas! It was hilarious!"

"ELLIS!" Leon interrupted, "We get it: You're an idiot."

"Least I don't swing that way," Ellis retorted.

"I am NEVER gonna hear the end of this, am I?!" Leon said with a hand on his forehead, covering up his disgust with himself.

"Oh, and I also play bass in my band," Ellis finished.

"BAND?!" Eddie said, excitedly. "I play lead guitar and do vocals! Does anybody here play drums?"

"I dabble with the drums," Travis said "I played in my school band."

"EXCELLENT! Or, at least, good enough," Eddie continued, his excitement not quelled one bit at Travis' mere high school level of experience, "Does anyone else here play guitar?"

"I've got a guitar," Dante said, "but it's actually a hot chick who takes the form of a guitar."

"Oh, uh, cool, I guess! A guitar is a guitar, regardless of the boobs on it!" Eddie said. "Do you know what this means?!"

"Yeah!" Ellis chimed in, "All our suite mates play instruments! Hot dog!"

"No, you moron!" Eddie said, "We can start a band!"

"You have to be joking," Dante said, rolling his eyes.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Eddie said, putting a very serious look on his face, "We can't pass this opportunity up. Our first rehearsal will be… Right now!" Eddie sat up, grabbed his suite mates by the collars, and dragged them all out the common room door.

"Well, looks like this floor meeting was good for something…" Leon mumbled to himself.

~*Room 205*~

"God Dammit! Those ****ing kids in the room next door are having a ****ing party. They need to ****ing learn to keep it down. Kids these days..."

"You're sounding like an old man, Cid." Chris said. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous that you weren't invited."

"And you're any ****ing better? Your friend Leon decided not to invite you either."

"I think he's just jealous that we got to share a common room with two girls." Chris told him.

"Aww we weren't invited to the party either!" Rikku whined. "That's no fun!"

"Yeah, I'd totally have loved to have went! I bet the party is totally hot!" followed up Flannery.

Cid laughed. "You kids, and your god damn parties."

"I'm sure they didn't invite you, because they'd have to invite us, then." Chris said. "Their loss if you ask me."

"Totally!" Rikku replied. "We can have fun all by ourselves, right dad!"

"I'm not your god damn father!" Cid said. "Just cuz' we share the same name, doesn't mean we're the same ****ing people!"

Rikku laughed. It was funny watching Cid get upset.

"Side's, if we were related, I'd be more like your Uncle. Your dad's much younger brother."

Flannery laughed. "Yeah, whatever pops!"

"Aww ****. Not you too..."

Flannery and Rikku giggled together. "Hey, Rikku! Wanna take a ride on my Charizard?"

"Sure!" said Rikku, and they ran off.

"****ing kids..."

~*Room 206*~

"Dinner's ready!" said Brock, as he carried food over to the table in the common room. Room 206 was filled with the aroma of home cooked food. It looked absolutely delicious, and it was Brock's specialty. "Bon appetit!"

"Mmm! This is good!" said Ash, sitting on the other side of the table. "I'm so glad I get to share a common room with you! You're cooking is the best!"

"Thanks, Ash!" Brock replied. "I made some for Missingno and Pikachu too. Though I wish I could have brought Onix as well."

"You mean your... pets... eat special food?" Edgeworth asked. "Noted."

Phoenix laughed. "Well, what did you think they ate, Edgey?"

"Well, Wright. I figured they ate food sold in bags, much like dogs and cats from our world."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix shouted. "Some pets in our world eat specially cooked food."

"Hold it. Where's the proof?" Edgeworth countered smugly.

"Rachel Ray dog food!" Phoenix said, smiling. "...and the proof is this!"

Phoenix held out a bad of Rachel Ray dog food. "Rachel Ray is a famous chef, and yet she makes dog food. Take that!"

Edgeworth face palmed himself. "Wright... why do you have a bag of dog food on you?"

"Oh ehheh..." Phoenix laughed nervously. "I thought this might come in handy."

Edgeworth shook his head. "I can't believe you Wright."

"So Brock, why didn't you bring Onix again?" Ash asked. "I mean Professor Oak didn't even know what Missingno was."

"Yukiko said not to." Brock explained. "Oh Yukiko. You're sooo beautiful! I love your laugh!"

Edgeworth shook his head again. "Looks like they paired up the weirdos, eh Ash?"

Ash laughed. "Yup! Guess so. Glad we're roommates, then Edgeworth. Since neither of us are as weird as those two!"

After Brock finally stopped fawning over Yukiko and regained his composure, he was ready to explain how he was given his invitation by Yosuke and Yukiko.

"Yosuke and Yukiko came into my gym. They faced off against my gym trainer, Liam. I keep telling him that a geodude and a sandshrew isn't enough. But he just won't listen. Anyway, Yosuke beat him with ease, and then.."

_~~*FLASHBACK*~~_

"Excuse me... are you Brock?" Yukiko asked.

"I CAN BE IF YOU WANT ME TO BE!" Brock said. "Wait... I AM Brock. Why are you looking for me? A gym battle? A date? a marriage proposal!?"

Yukiko shook her head. "Uh no... we want you to come with us in this tournament."

"I'd go anywhere with you!" Brock replied.

"Uh... that's good."

"CAN I HOLD YOUR HAND? PLEASE?" Brock shouted, grabbing her hand quickly. Yukiko responded violently, slapping Brock in the process.

"Oh! Sorry!" said Yukiko, realizing what she had done.

"It's okay! You can slap me anytime!"

"So... you'll come with us?" Yosuke asked.

"Who are you?" Brock asked.

"...Yosuke."

"THEN WE WILL DO BATTLE BEFORE WE GO!" Brock said. "That's how it goes. Besides, you want to see my Onix in action don't you, Yukiko?"

"Umm... not really."

"My Onix is rock hard. You can't penetrate it's defenses!" Brock said.

"Yeah, but we're more interested in Missingno." Yosuke told him.

"Oh... that... Thing. Well it's not exactly battle-ready. So I'm just going to use Onix."

"Alright, just so long as you only bring Missingno with you to the contest."

"If it means meeting a lot more pretty girls like you, I'll bring a Bidoof! Or a Magikarp even!"

Yukiko couldn't supress her laugh anymore. "Snrk.... a magikarp. THAT'S A GOOD ONE! AHAHAHA!"

"You're laugh is so pretty!" Brock said, stars in his eyes as we looked at the young innkeeper. "But first, I'll battle with Yosuke. Onix go!"

"Alright... I choose you Professor Ivy!" Yosuke shouted.

"DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME!" Brock shouted as loudly as possible.

"Huh? What's wrong with my Ivysaur's name?" Yosuke asked. "Nurse Joy told us that we should give it a name, and I thought Professor Ivy..."

Brock curled up in the fetal position. "Never mention that name again... never. Please. DO NOT BRING HER UP!"

Sweatdrops appeared over Yosuke and Yukiko's head. Neither knew what had happened between the two of them.

_~~*End Flashback*~~_

"Anyway, after that Yosuke beat me in battle and you know the rest, Ash."

"So wait... what happened between you and Professor Iv--"

Before Edgeworth could finish his sentence, Brock had his hand over his mouth. "We'll just... forget about this okay!" Brock said.

Edgeworth shook his head. "I'll find out what happened. I won't let this remain a noodle incident."

"Good luck with that." said Ash. "I've been trying to get him to tell me what happened with Professor... you know who for a few years now."

"I'll get to the bottom of it." said Edgeworth, as Brock went to clean the dishes. "I guarantee it."

~*Room 207*~

"Anybody else feel like we might be in a bit over our heads?" The Prince of Persia asked as he peered out the window at the placid lake below. "I think that's a giant turtle down there. How the hell do you fight that?"

"Make turtle stew!" Drake smiled as he sipped a cold one.

"And the ladies go crazy for turtle skin shoes." Ezio smiled as he tried to figure out how to open his can of beer. "How…"

"It's not hard, genius. Just like this," Drake said as he demonstrated on a fresh can.

"Really, guys, I'm not always the one to get nervous before a big fight, but I don't have my lifeline here to save me if I'm about to die," the Prince said, turning from the window.

"Oh, well sorry if your girlfriend isn't here to yell at the big mean turtles once they get the best of you," Drake said. "Relax. Have a cold one," he said as he tossed one to the Prince.

"How do you open these damn things again?" the Prince said as he looked down at the can. There was the a metallic slashing noise, and, out of nowhere, the top of the Prince's beer can flew off into the air and landed neatly on the tip of Ryu Hayabusa's kunai. He twirled it around smoothly and then gave it a clean toss right into the trash can.

"What a show off!" Ezio remarked, "Look at the ninja with all of his fancy ninja moves! Well, you may be a ninja, but you'll never be able to pull _this_ off." Ezio stood up and flipped his cape over his shoulder in an incredibly cool way, spun around in a 360, then fell back into his chair with his legs crossed. It was very simple but at the same time incredibly cool.

"Yeah? Well, I can totally do this." The Prince unsheathed his sword and threw it up in the air, and it came down and landed with tip-to-tip contact with his pointy glove. He balanced it there for a few seconds before tossing it back up and having it land right into his sheath.

"Tip-to-tip! Prince, I didn't know you swung that way, but I respect that," Drake said with a wink. He took out his pistol, twirled it around his fingers, then tossed it up, kicked it as it fell behind his back, and caught it again. He whistled and did this weird "click click" noise as he winked and pointed his gun at the Prince.

"I think we've firmly established that we're the epitome of cool. At least here at the castle." Ezio remarked.

"No, I think that'd be Sub-Zero," Ryu said with a smile that could be seen under his mask.


	4. Introductions 3rd Floor

**Introduction: 3rd Floor**

The third floor was the first floor to have only six rooms, instead of seven. But that didn't make it an empty floor by any means.

~*Room 301*~

Samus Aran was lying on her bed in her room. Things in other universes seemed a lot different than from hers. That much was apparent by those who she shared a common room with alone. Not to mention all of the other participants in the contest. Yes, things were very different throughout the multiverse.

In the other room, were Princess Zelda and Yuna. Both were well respected members of their worlds. Zelda was the Princess of Hyrule -- born into Royalty, but it was her wisdom that had gained her respect in her world. Zelda wasn't the type of princess that Samus had imagined. Not only was she wise beyond her years, but she was kind beyond any simple words. She cared for her people in a way that only a princess could. She may have had the title Princess given to her at birth, but in the eyes of the people she had earned it through her actions, not her bloodline.

Yuna, on the other hand was a bit spunkier than Zelda was. Not quite as wise, but her eyes told a story. On the outside, was a smiling girl -- who looked just as calmly as Princess Zelda did. But Samus could see through her eyes the pain that she held deep within. Samus had heard all about Yuna's pilgrimage. How she sought to vanquish Sin -- a great beast -- from her world. How she was willing to sacrifice herself to save the world. Even if only for a little while. Yuna was stronger than she looked -- much stronger, and Samus respected that. The High Summoner's calmness was nothing more than a facade, one well put on. The only time she really smiled, was when she saw... _him_. Tidus. He was on the same floor, and seemed every bit as spunky as Yuna. Samus could tell why the two had fallen in love. it seemed that he too was willing to sacrifice himself -- in fact, his entire world, just for Yuna. It was a gesture that couldn't be measured by words.

Zelda and Yuna got along well, and with good reason Samus thought. They were both calm, they loved their worlds more than they loved themselves. They were selfless beyond measure. As a bounty hunter, Samus had never quite so selfless.

Then she had her own room mate -- Tifa Lockheart. Tifa looked more like a model than any kind of fighter. But Tifa's skills with Martial Arts had impressed her. Tifa was attractive, and didn't hide behind a protective suit. She was tough, yet at the same time still had a feminine side that clearly showed. She was very different from Zelda, and Yuna, as well as herself.

Samus stared up at the ceiling. Yeah, things were very different here. She would have to adjust a little. Just then, Tifa came out of the shower, wrapped in nothing but a towel. Samus sized her up. She was absolutely gorgeous, and on top of it an amazing fighter.

"Hey, Samus! I'm heading up to the Locke, Celes, and Smoking Barret Bar. Barret can't fix a drink for anything. Wanna come with me?"

Samus laughed to herself. "Sure."

Yeah, things were different here. But it was.. nice

~*Room 302*~

[FREQUENCY 141.12]

*Snake*  
Otacon, do you read me?

*Otacon*  
I'm here, Snake! I see you made it to the castle. How's your room assignment?

*Snake*  
It's odd. My roommate is Cloud Strife. And get this--

*Otacon*  
I know, Snake. He was genetically engineered based on the strongest SOLDIER in his own world. A man by the name of Sephiroth. It seems that the two of you have quite a bit in common. But I don't think that the Patriots influence could extend to other worlds.

*Snake*  
That's not all. It looks like Sephiroth and Liquid are roommates as well.

*Otacon*  
That's not good. We need to keep a close eye on them. Squall Leonhart seems like he would be our best bet for an inside man. He's a bit of a loner. His thinking isn't too far off from The Boss's. He believes that every side in a war sees themselves as the good guys. But I think we can convince him that Liquid and Sephiroth are dangerous. Vincent Valentine may be able to help us there. According to the files Sunny obtained for me, Vincent Valentine knows just how dangerous Sephiroth can be.

*Snake*  
Big Boss is here too. Looks like he's roommates with Tidus's father. Tidus is in our common room as well.

*Otacon*  
According to the records, it seems like Tidus and his father never really got along. Sounds kind of like your relationship with Big Boss.

*Snake*  
I'm not sure you could call him my father. That's kind of stretching it, don't you think?

*Otacon*  
The Boss and Revolver Ocelot are also on the same floor as you. It seems like everyone from our world was put on the same floor. There has to be a reason for that. I've asked Sunny to take a look into things. It also seems like we can get some help from Drebin. He runs the gun shop on the same floor you're on now. You'll need to aquire some weapons from him at some point. He may be able to help us.

*Snake*  
It seems like Naomi Hunter is here as well. She's at the Clinic, right?

*Otacon*  
Yeah... with Dr. Styles. But I'm not sure how much help she'll be able to be.

*Snake*  
One more thing...

*Otacon*  
Yeah, Snake?

*Snake*  
Lloyd Irving, Tidus's roommate. He doesn't seem too bright. But his father is here as well. Kratos Aurion.

*Otacon*  
Yeah. And he's rooming with Auron, who comes from Tidus's world as well. Auron was like a father to Tidus according to his files. It seems that Tidus and Lloyd share a lot in common. Both were bodyguards for a religious pilgrimage designed to take the life of the one who was on the pilgrimage, in order to bring hope to the people. It seems like not just you and Cloud have a lot in common.

*Snake*  
Yeah. But what really bothers me, is that Kratos sounds just like Liquid.

*Otacon*  
WHAT?!

*Snake*  
Yeah. When I heard his voice for the first time, there was no mistaking it.

*Otacon*  
That's because they have the same voice actor Snake.

*Snake*  
What?

*Otacon*  
Uhh... never mind. Anyway, I'll see what I can find out about Kratos Aurion for you. Is there anything else you need?

*Snake*  
Yeah.

*Otacon*  
What do you need? I'll see what I can do.

*Snake*  
See if you can't get me a pack of cigarettes.

*Otacon*  
Snake....

[CODEC OUT]

After the Codec call ended, he thought back to when he was recruited for this 'mission'. Yosuke and Junpei didn't seem too serious. In fact they talked more to Otacon than anything. "You watch Death Note? Awesome!" Snake could remember Junpei saying. All the talk about anime confused Snake as much as math confused Lloyd.

Snake could overhear Lloyd talking to Tidus in the other room.

"Wow! Blitzball sounds like a lot of fun! I'd like to try it some time! But wait... what if I drown?! I can't even swim! Wait... that would actually make it easier! Since I can't swim, I can't drown!"

Snake shook his head. At least his own room mate seemed competent. It felt weird. He was an old man, rooming with a twenty-something who's story was very much similar to his own.

"If you're worried about Sephiroth..." Cloud had told him earlier. "A few of us are meeting at Locke, Celes, and Smoking Barret free to join us."

If he wasn't worried about Sephiroth before, he certainly was after what he heard from Otacon. "Maybe I should meet up with them... even if they are just a bunch of kids.."

And with that, Snake headed for the bar. "Maybe I can find a pack of Marlboro's while I"m there..."

~*Room 303*~

"Hey, Auron! What do you think about me getting an eye patch? I think it'd look pretty awesome!"

Auron laughed. "You haven't changed a bit, Jecht"

"Neither have you, old man." Jecht told him. "Hard to believe we were assigned the same common room."

"Not that surprising." Auron said. "Tidus is on the same floor, you know?"

"Hmph..."

Big Boss walked over towards them, joining their conversation. "Tidus is... your son?"

"Yeah, hard to believe that crybaby son of mine made it into this contest." Jecht answered. "Hey, Kratos, your son's in this too, right?"

"Yes. I believe he's roomed with your son, Tidus."

"Huh. An idiot and a crybaby roomed together."

Kratos walked over towards Jecht, raising his sword to him. "If you know what's good for you, you won't call Lloyd an idiot again." Jecht waved him off, and Kratos lowered his blade. "...or your son a crybaby for that matter."

"Well I know I'm no ideal father." Jecht said. "My kid hates me. You and your kid are enemies too, right Bossy?"

Big Boss, not liking Jecht's new nickname for him, grunted. "Don't call me Bossy."

"How bout' Patch then? Yeah, that has a nice ring to it..."

Big Boss ignored him. "I'm not sure you could call Snake my son. We're more like... brothers."

"And what about Liquid?" Auron asked him. "Would you say the same about him?"

"I've never thought of either of them as my 'sons'. I've always respected Snake as a man, and as a soldier though. Liquid on the other hand, I have no respect for. Anyway, I've got important things to do."

With that, Big Boss left the room.

"Bet he's going to Drebin's guns." Jecht said. "Listen, Kratos... about what I said before."

"Don't worry about it."

"Yeah.. thanks. Anyway, Auron! What say we go pick up some chicks! Think an old man like me has a chance with someone like Tifa? Or maybe that Elle Block. Yeah, a contortionist!"

Auron laughed. "You really haven't changed."

~*Room 304*~

Room 304's common room was empty. All occupants were in their rooms, staying away from their common-mates.

On the left side, Sephiroth and Liquid were getting to know each other, and learning much about how they could use each other.

"So... you were the clone of your own world's most powerful soldier?" Sephiroth asked Liquid. "A pity.. that you weren't reocnigzed as the replacement for Big Boss. From what I gather... your failure comes only from plots that were far beyond your own control."

"Snake didn't stop me. Foxdie did. That damn Naomi Hunter..."

Sephiroth smiled. "She's here too, you know?"

Liquid nodded. Yes, Naomi Hunter was one of the doctors at the clinic.

"They may have labeled you the failure, Liquid. But I know a man once they called a failure. Someone they discarded. But he was the one who was the true success. The only one who was even able to closely match the original. In fact.. he's here in this very contest. I have big plans for us, Liquid. Very big plans."

"Plans?" Liquid asked. "You do realize that Snake, and Cloud are paired together don't you? I'm sure that those kids who brought us here did that to keep an eye on us. I heard the red haired one tell the girl in pink to keep an eye on me."

"Cloud is no threat to us." Sephiroth assured him.

"He defeated you, didn't he?"

Sephiroth laughed. "Cloud and I are not enemies! We are one in the same! He is my puppet! When I say Dance, he dances. If I told him to fight, he would fight. And if I told him to Die for me! He would do it!"

Liquid shook his head. Sephiroth seemed delusional. Not only were Cloud and Snake a threat, but their own common room mates were a threat. Vincent Valentine. Squall Leonhart. Neither of them seemed like the type to sit by idly while they plotted and planned.

"We're going to the top, Liquid. And not just to the top of that silly tower. We're going to make a universe for ourselves! One where we are free!"

Liquid stared at the ceiling. Sephiroth told a good story, but he wasn't sure if he was buying it. He'd have to deal with Snake, himself. He couldn't rely on someone else to help him. But Kratos Aurion.. he might come in handy, Liquid thought. The two sound alike. And that could be advantageous. Not to mention the Cardboard box he had brought with him...

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room...

"Sephiroth is dangerous." Vincent told Squall. "We're going to want to keep an eye on him."

"...Whatever."

"You need to take this seriously. It is through my sins that Sephiroth was created. Thus it is my duty to keep him from causing any more harm than he already has. If you're not going to help me, then at least agree not to stand in my way.."

"Sephiroth tried to destroy your world, right?"

Vincent nodded. "He's one of the most dangerous people here. He'll most likely manipulate Liquid into doing whatever he wants him to."

"You do your thing, and I'll do mine. I' don't intend to let Sephiroth run wild in this place. But at the same time, I'm not going to join your little group focused on keeping a watch on him. Headmaster Cid asked me to come here, in order to find this 'very powerful' thing at the top of Tartarus. That's my priority."

"So be it. But if you change your mind..."

"You'll be at the bar. Got it."

With that, Vincent left satisfied that he had gotten through to Squall.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a pain.." Squall said to himself. "The least he could have done, is waited until Sephiroth was out of ear shot..."

~*Room 305*~

"So... Mewtwo. Tell me, how did you wind up with two losers like them?" Revolver Ocelot asked.

"HEY! Who are you calling losers?!" Jesse shouted.

"Yeah, we're not losers!" James added.

"Mewtwo belongs to the boss!" The two said in unison. "And when he gets here, you're going to be in real trouble."

Ocelot laughed, twirling his revolvers. "Is that who you think is coming? You think your boss is THE BOSS?"

"Of course, who else would be called the boss?" James asked.

"That'd be me." said The Boss, walking in. "I see you still haven't lost that habit of playing with your guns, Adamska."

"Wait... The Boss isn't the boss?" James asked. "I'm confused!"

"You would be, you're simple minded." Mewtwo told them.

"You're a lot older than I would have imagined, Adamska." The Boss said, ignoring the feuding between Team Rocket and Ocelot.

"Nice to see you again, Boss."

The Boss grunted. She gave Ocelot a look over. In her eyes, he was still the naive kid who she had to scold for playing with his weapons. In her eyes, he hadn't grown as a man. But also in her eyes, he was her baby boy. The one that the Philosophers had taken from her. After all, at her core she was still a woman, still a mother.

"Snake's here. Three of them in fact..." Ocelot told her.

"I know. I met him on the way down here."

"You mean Big Boss?" Ocelot asked, laughing. "The man who killed you."

The Boss nodded. "It looks like we're going to be sharing a common room. Try not to shoot anyone's eye out while we're here, Ocelot."

"Yes ma'am." Ocelot said. He didn't like being scolded. But it was by the legendary Boss. He wasn't going to complain.

"I'm going to go meet my room mate. If you need me, you can talk to me later. I do... want to catch up."

With that, The Boss left the common room for the left side bedroom.

"Well, looks like we're going to be roommates!" Ocelot said. "This ought to be fun."

"WAIT! I have to room with two other guys?!" Jesse shouted. "I have to have my privacy! James! You're sleeping on the floor! You too old man!"

"I don't think so. See I've got... a bad back. Bedrooms mine. Ya'll can have the couch though. Well, this old man's off to bed. Nighty night!"

Ocelot had also left for his room, leaving Jesse, James, and Mewtwo in the common room alone.

"I hate him!" Jesse said. "Can't you control his mind or something you worthless pokemon?!"

"No." Mewtwo replied.

"Why not?!" demanded James

"I can't." Mewtwo told them. "I can't even read his mind."

"WHAT?!" Jesse said. "You're supposed to be a psychic pokemon! You can read anyone's mind!"

"Not his... I've tried. I don't know why. But I can't."

Jesse and James were resigned to sleeping in the common room. James got the floor, while Jesse got the couch. Mewtwo, not needing to sleep, watched in on Ocelot. The old man had interested him. Of all the contestants here, Ocelot was the only who's mind he could not read.

The Boss meanwhile was getting to know her new roommate, Terra.

"I'm The Boss. Leader of the Cobras, a military unit. You can think of me.... as a soldier."

"Terra Branford. I'm also... a soldier."

"Nice to meet you." The Boss said, sitting down on her bed.

"...Have you ever known love?" Terra asked.

"What?!" The Boss asked.

"Have you ever known love? Is it possible for a soldier to fall in love?"

"Of course." said The Boss. "Let me guess, you've had guy troubles?"

"Most men are interested in me for only one of two reasons -- my beauty or my abilities."

The Boss laughed. "Join the club."

Terra half-smiled. "Sometimes I think it's unnatural for me to love. I'm not even completely human, you know? But those children... even though they aren't my own children. I feel like a mother to them. I want to protect them with everything I've got. And if that means using my powers.."

"Don't worry about it." The Boss told her. "I know how you feel. Everyone in my unit, is like a member of my family. In fact, they call the Cobras "Sons of the Boss." I have my own son, you know? Ocelot... he's in the other room. Yeah, I'm a mother. A woman. Not just a soldier. None of us are. None of us should have to be. I get you, kid. Stick with me, and everything'll be alright."

"Thanks." Terra said.

"No problem."

~*Room 306*~

In room 306, both sides were keeping to themselves fairly well. The common room was empty, but it wasn't as if they were all avoiding each other.

On the left side, was Zack and Prinny's room. Zack didn't like having to share his room with this... thing. But he'd live with it for now.

"Dood! Come on, let's do something fun!" Prinny said.

Zack shook his head. It had already given him a headache in the short time they had been there. "Why'd they room me with this penguin."

"Dood! Prinnies aren't penguins, dood! That's totally not cool!"

Again Zack shook his head. He was afraid he'd be there for a long time -- a very long time.

Meanwhile... in the other room.

"So… You like guns?" Soap asked the Chief.

"Yeah."

"And you like… killing bad guys."

"Yeah."

"I guess you don't like small talk, then."

"Nope."

"Good, because neither do I."

"Excellent.


	5. Introductions 4th Floor

**Introduction: Fourth Floor**

The members of SEES and the Investigation team were asked to check in on those who were placed on the fourth floor by the powers that be. They weren't sure why, all they knew was that they had to check on them.

"We will split up, and each check one door." Mitsuru explained. "Amagi and I will check the first door. The rest of you may split up as you like."

With that, everyone split into groups, to check on those staying on the fourth floor.

~*Room 401*~

Yukiko and Mitsuru knocked on the first door on the fourth floor. It wasn't long, before a white-haired paladin answered.

"Yes, can we help you?" Cecil asked.

Mitsuru nodded. "We're here to check and see if everything is going alright."

Cecil invited MItsuru and Yukari in, and then everyone took a seat on the couch in the Common room.

"Everything is going well here, I take it?" Asked Mitsuru.

"If you need anything, anything at all, just ask!" Yukiko added.

"We're fine, aren't we Revan?" Cecil responded.

"I hope that my droid isn't causing too much trouble." Revan said. "Interesting that you roomed me with a Paladin, I must say. A former Dark Knight at that.. I suppose that had to do with my history, or perhaps I'm being too arrogant in assuming this was about me."

Mitsuru shook her head. "HK-47 has not caused any problems yet. I can't say the reasons for your room accomodations, as I wasn't the one who assigned rooms. I hope that there is no trouble."

"None. Cecil and I have much to learn from each other."

"And how about you, Yuri? Link?" Yukiko asked. "How about you?"

"Could you ask Mrs. Welkin if she could order some Lon-Lon Milk to serve at the cafe?"

"Nothing for me." Yuri said.

"Tres Bien!" Mitsuru said. "Well, we'll be going. If you need to reach us, you can do so on the sixth floor."

With that, Mitsuru and Yukiko left.

"You don't think that had something to do with Ganondorf, do you Link?" Yuri asked.

"They may know we're keeping an eye on him." Link said.

"More than that. If he tries anything, I'll kill him."

"Violence isn't always the answer!" Cecil said. "Nobody is truly evil..."

"I wouldn't be so sure of it." Yuri responded.

~*Room 402*~

Akihiko and Chie knocked on the door of Room 402. It was about a minute before Ike answered the door.

"Can I help you?" Ike asked.

"We're just checking on the status of everyone on this floor." Akihiko said.

"Is everything alright?" Chie asked.

Ike nodded. "Knuckles and Riku are keeping to themselves. I wouldn't say they're fighting, but they're not getting along either. Marth and I are getting along okay though. He's a great room mate, and we're already friends."

"That's good to hear." Akihiko said.

Marth approached the door. "Oh, it's those people who recruited us. Would you like to come in?"

"No. I don't think that'll be necessary." Akihiko said. "I'd like to get some training in."

"Yeah! Me too!" Chie said.

"Are you... sure. Couldn't you come in for a minute? Maybe longer?"

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong in there?" Akihiko asked.

"Yep." Ike said. "We're getting along great, right Marth?"

"...yeah. mumblemumble why does everyone always mistake me for a girl..."

"Oh, I didn't mistake you for a girl." Ike said.

"...Great." Marth replied.

"We're friends! And I fight for my friends!" Ike said.

"Well, we're uh... going to get going." Chie said. "Alright Akihiko, let's go spar at J's Gym."

"Sounds good to me!"

~*Room 403*~

Fuuka and Kanji knocked on room 403's door, and Kefka promptly answered the door.

"EHEHEHEHEHE!" The jester laughed, before slamming the door in their face.

Fuuka knocked on the door a second time. "Excuse me..." she said. But Kefka just laughed again, and shut the door on them. Fuuka then knocked for the third time. "Wait..." she said.

"Wait?" Kefka asked. "DO I LOOK LIKE A WAITER? EHEHEHEHE!" Kefka then slammed the door shut again.

"Oh no. This isn't going well at all." Fuuka said.

"Let me handle this." Kanji said, deciding he wouldn't leave this to Fuuka, even if Kefka did scare the bejeezus out of him.

"Hey.. wait." Kanji said.

"Wait?" Kefka asked. "DO I LOOK LIKE A WAITER? EHEHEHEHEHE!" Kefka slammed the door once again.

"Dammit! That's it, I'm going to kick that Clowns ass!" Kanji shouted, pushing the door open, and busting in.

"Uh... scuse' me." Kanji said. "We're here to check on things and all."

"Ahahahahaha! Were you worried about me, Kanji?" Laharl asked. "No need to be. But if you still want to be my vasal..."

"Still gonna' say no to that one."

"Hmm? What happened between you two?" Fuuka asked. "Didn't you and Yukari..."

"Let's not talk about that, okay?" Kanji said. "...anyway. Uhh do you all uhh need anything?"

Laharl shook his head. "Just some more vassals!"

"Eheheheh, me need anything? YOU NIMWIT! WHY WOULD I NEED ANYTHING EVER? EHEHEH! What good are things, if they don't last forever?"

"You know... if I close my eyes, he sounds a little like.. Teddie." Kanji said. "Just the voice though."

"You think so?" Fuuka asked. "Anyway, how about you Mr. Magus."

"Hmph. The weak strive to get weaker. The black wind howls. Someone is going to die..."

"...Creepy dude." Kanji said. "So if you don't need anything."

"Get this maggot out of my room." Magus said. "I room alone."

"Sorry Mr. Magus, those are the rules." Fuuka said.

"If you don't get him out, I'm going to kill him." Magus said. "Just look in there!"

Kanji, and Fuuka took a look in Magus's room. And inside was his roommate, Sandal. "Do you not like Sandal?" Fuuka asked.

"JUST LOOK AT HIM!"

"Hello." Sandal said. "Enchantment?"

"No thanks." Kanji said.

"ENCHANTMENT! ENCHANTMENT!"

"If he doesn't stop screaming that word, I shall cut off all of his ties to this world!"

"Hmmm... isn't Sandal's dad up on the fifth floor?" Kanji said. "I mean, ya'know..."

"I suppose that could work. Would you like to go live with your father? I believe he's running an armor shop up on the fifth floor."

Sandal nodded approvingly.

"I hope this is to your satisfaction." Fuuka said.

Magus grunted, and Fuuka and Kanji left the room.

"What a bunch of weirdos..." Kanji muttered to himself, as they escorted Sandal up to the fifth floor.

~*Room 404*~

Aigis and Naoto knocked on door 404.

"Hey there, my names Axel. Got it memorized?"

"Affirmative." Said Aigis. "Your name has been added to my memory banks."

"I've written it down." said Naoto. "May we come in."

"Sorry, we're kind of... busy with a party. Hey, can Roxas and I room together, and Sonic and Neku can room together?"

"Negative."

"Bummer..." said Axel.

"Too slow!" said Sonic, as he zoomed by.

"Well.. back to the party!" said Axel.

"I do not think that this qualifies as completing our mission." Aigis said.

Naoto laughed nervously. "Maybe not, but we can't force our way in there."

~*Room 405*~

"Are you sure we want to do this one... I mean leaving the other one to stupei, Yosuke, and Teddie isn't exactly a good idea..." Yukiko said.

"Oh, come on Senpai! Wouldn't you rather see the inside of a guy's dorm than another girl's?" asked Rise.

"Well... maybe just a little."

Rise and Yukiko knocked on Door 405. It was Red, that answered the door.

"Can I help you?" asked Red.

"Hi hi!" said Rise. "Can we come in? Pleeeease?"

"Okay... I guess."

Red lead Rise into the room, as Yukari sighed. "She's a little... too excited about this."

On the couch, were Sora and Ness talking about their respective worlds. The two had been assigned as roommates, and were quickly becoming friends. On the other side, was Red's Squirtle, and Vivi. They didn't seem to be getting along.

"OH MY GOSH!" said Rise, running towards Vivi. "Vivi is SO Kawaii-desu! SQUEE!"

Yukari rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, we're here to..."

But before Yukari could finish, Rise interrupted. "SQUEE! And it's Squirtle too! OH MY GOSH! I can't believe this! It's soooo cute!"

"If little Ms. Idol here will be quiet..."

"Rise is an idol?" Red asked. "Ms. Kujikawa! Wow! I wish you had come to invite me instead of Yosuke and Yukiko. You're so beautiful, I've heard so many things about you! Can I.. get your autograph?"

"Oh sure! Do you mind if I pet your Squirtle?"

"Go ahead." Red said. "Wow... she's petting my Squirtle..."

Yukari sighed again. "Sheesh. Isn't there anyone who doesn't fawn over little miss thing over there"

At the very least, Sora and Ness seemed to be ignoring her. Or... at least Ness was. But Yukari figured that was because he was too young.

"Wow! It's nice to see you again Rise! I'm glad we could be friends."

"Yeah, and I suppose you don't remember me..." said Yukari.

"Of course I remember you Yukari. You and Kairi have similar names!"

That was a relief. At least someone in the room was paying attention to her. She might have been a bit older, and never had been an idol, but Yukari still thought that she was attractive. She didn't want the attention Rise got. But it still annoyed her for some reason.

"Anyway, we're just here to see if you needed anything." Yukari said.

"We're fine!" said Sora. "Drop by anytime you want!"

"Oh, do you mean it?!" asked Rise, overly excited. "i'd love to pet Squirtle!"

"You can pet my Squirlte anytime... heheh." said Red.

Rise giggled. "Anyway, we've gotta go now! There's a sale at the DoA Clothing Boutique second floor! So buh-bye!"

WIth that, Rise and Yukari left.

Red's smile didn't fade until Rise and Yukari were half-way down the hallway. "Agh! If Ash saw me acting like that over some girl, I'd never hear the end of it. Laughed at by him. Pathetic. He only beat me once, and that's cause he got lucky. He won't be so lucky in this contest..."

~*Room 406*~

The last room on the fourth floor was left to Junpei, Teddie, and Yosuke. They cautiously approached the door, and knocked. But nobody answered.

"Maybe we should just come back another time..." said Yosuke. "Looks like this isn't a good time..."

"Let's just go in!" said Junpei. "C'mon! What harm can it do!"

"Teddie agrees with Junpei-san!"

"What? Of course you would... sheesh." Yosuke said. "I don't think we should... let's wait a little while longer."

"C'mon! What harm could it do?"

Junpei opened the door, and all three guys were shocked by what they saw -- Jill Valentine was standing in front of the door. Her hair was sopping wet. Water was trickling down her body. The only thing she had on was a towel, and a smile. The white towel barely covered the upper half of her legs. And in her hand -- was a gun, pointed right at them.

"Stay right there." Jill said. "Who are you, and what do you want? Are you with Wesker?"

"N-no!" Yosuke said. "So sorry to barge in like that... I mean it was HIS idea."

"Shut up!"

"We're just here to see if anyone needs anything."

"Is that really why you're here?" Lightning asked. "Or are you here to peep in on me and my roommate?"

"N-no!" Junpei responded. "Of course not."

"Lightning told me that Wesker was here earlier." Jill said. "I'm sorry for pointing a gun at you. But I figured he might have come back."

"He even tried to hit on me. Luckily I kicked the gun out of his hand."

Yosuke gulped. Lightning was very scary. "If you're sorry for pointing the gun at us... maybe you could... uhh... lower it?"

"Oh. Sorry." Jill said, lowering her gun. "I guess you can come in. I'm going to go get dressed."

"Oh! No need to get dressed on the account of Teddie!"

Jill grunted, and the headed to her bedroom.

"What's going on here?" Chell asked. "Oh... it's you guys."

"Yeah..." Yosuke said. "So... do you need anything?"

"Cake would be nice." said Chell. "No strawberries for Cube though."

"Okay!" said Yosuke, winking. "That shouldn't be a problem. Just don't have Chie or Yukiko make it. I know! I'll get Alicia at the bakery to make you one!"

"Thanks!" said Chell.

"Claptrap needs repaired." said Lilith. "Is there..?"

Junpei nodded. "Y-yeah! Of course!"

"Thanks." said Lilith, as she walked out of the dorm.

"N-no problem!" Junpei stuttered, as he blushed.

Jill re-entered the room, this time fully dressed. "So is there anything else?" Jill asked.

Yosuke shook his head. "No. We should... uh get going."

"Aww! But Teddie wants to stay!"

"Too bad! now let's get going before we cause any more trouble!" said Yosuke. "I'm really sorry about this."

"No problem." Jill said, and Yosuke, Teddie and Junpei left.

"We failed an epic fail..." said Junpei.

Meanwhile, back in the room Lightning and Jill were discussing Wesker.

"Seems odd for nerd-boy to be hitting on you." said Jill. "You're sure it was him right?"

"Blonde hair, sunglasses. Right?"

"That's him alright." said Jill. "No use worrying over it now. We'll find out what he's up to. Sooner or later."


	6. Introductions 5th Floor

**Introductions - Fifth Floor**

It was a cold, dark day in the castle. Duke, being the incredibly macho and supremely buff man that he always was, decided to go off and pick up some chicks. He started with the first floor, going from door to door in search for some sweet, sweet lovin'.  
"Hi, I'm Duke, and I'm a foreigner. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers." He said to the first girl, Aeris, who slammed the door in his face as fast as she he opened it.  
Not put off in the slightest, Duke made his way to floor two, where he greeted Flannery with "You remind me of Pokémon. I just wanna peek-at-choo." This time, Duke didn't get away with just a door slammed in his face, but was given a slap in the face.  
On the third floor, he knocked on the door of Tifa, the most buxom of all the competitors, and told her that he was a member of the FBI, or the "Fine Bodies Investigator," and asked her to assume the position. Tifa smiled, which would be unexpected if it wasn't Duke Nukem, God's Gift to Women, hitting on her. She motioned for him to come in, but as soon as he took a step forward, she kicked him in the nads.  
Duke was getting slightly frustrated, and by the time he reached the fourth floor, he had all but given up hope. He knocked on the door of Lightning with less enthusiasm than before, and pointed a gun at her. "I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?"  
Lightning kicked the gun away, grabbed it from midair, and pointed it at Duke's head. "That's a no, then?" Duke frowned as he turned slowly to the stairs to the next floor.  
"That's it! No more random 'one door per floor' crap!" Duke said to nobody in particular as he exited the stairwell, "I'm trying every damn door on this level until I get a date!"

Duke rap-tap-tapped on the first door, and it opened with a cold blast of air. "MORTAL," greeted Arthas, King of the Frozen Throne, "WHAT DOST THOU SEEKEST OF ME?"  
"Hey, are there any chicks in here?" Duke asked, unperturbed by Arthas' "chill" demeanor.  
"THERE ARE NO MORTALS OF THE FEMALE PERSUASION HERE, MORTAL."  
"Oh… I guess I'll be on my way, then!"  
"Wait!" Duke heard a cry coming from the back of the common room. He saw a delicious, nubile young blond woman trapped up to her head in a block of ice. Next to her were the completely frozen forms of Simon Belmont and Meta Knight. "You have to help us!"  
"I'll save you, pretty lady!" Duke yelled as he sprung into action. He kicked Arthas in the balls with his size 12 boot, only to revel in pain when he came into contact with the frozen armor.  
"WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS?" Arthas asked the ailing Duke.  
"Uhhh…"  
"THE ICE AGE!" Arthas then slapped Duke across the face, then summoned a sword out of nowhere, and was about to bring it down upon Duke, when out of nowhere a laser blast hit the sword and shattered it to pieces, showering Duke with melted bits of ice-sword.  
"Statement. Thought you could use some help, meatbag."  
"How did you know I was in trouble?!" Duke said as he jumped up and brushed himself off. He pulled out his second pistol.  
"Deus Ex Machina. I didn't. Just a lucky coincidence, I suppose."  
"Then let's kick this guy's ass!"  
*A few minutes later, after an awesome off-camera battle*  
"I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, DUKE!" Arthas yelled as he ran down the stairwell, tarred and feathered. Duke and HK-47 were busy thawing off the three prisoners.  
"So, little lady, now that this is over, wanna go grab some lunch?"  
"Crime doesn't take lunch breaks, and neither do I," Ramza responded. "By the way, I'm not a woman."  
Duke and 47 looked up at each other, then at Ramza, and then left, leaving the three still partially frozen.

"Statement. This has been fun, Duke, but I've got better things to do than watch you hit on everything that moves."  
"But if I get attacked, you'll totally come around and save my ass, right?"  
"Response. Don't count on it, meatbag." With that, 47 departed down the stairs, carefully avoiding the spots of tar and feathers.

The next room didn't go over well either. Duke was greeted by a talking bandicoot. He saw a pirate named Guybrush sitting around talking smack about a girl named Isaac's mama. Except she wasn't a girl. There was also another furry named Ratchet but Duke don't swing that way.

Next to that room Duke was greeted by a professor named Layton. "Got any chicks here" Duke asked. Layton nodded, then led him through the common room, where Captain Price was sitting with Marcus Fenix as they compared guns (not the metaphorical ones that Duke loved to show off) and was shown to Layton's room. Layton opened the door to reveal Amaterasu, the female dog that paints.

Duke ran next door and… tripped over a bush. For some reason he didn't find this strange. Duke knocked on the next door and there was no answer. "I'll get that for ya, Suzie!" Duke looked around and noticed the bush was now next to him. "That's my room! I just don't go in there because of the giant purple dragon Ridley thing that takes up all the room in my room. He's too big!"  
"So you… hang out in the hall disguised as plant life?"  
"That's the plan! It was working fine until you came and tripped on me!"  
"Uhhh, sorry, but are there any hot chicks in your room?"  
"No, just some smells guy in a jump suit who grew up in a vault and a boy made of sack."  
"Forget it! Gahh! I hate this! Where are all the wimminz?"  
MacMillan the Bushman entered his room and Duke went on. Wander greeted him at the next door. Duke mistook him for "Wanda" and hit on him for a few seconds before realizing he made the same mistake he had already made twice today. Ashamed, he bid farewell to the puppet, Geno, the ape, DK, and the fox… Fox. Fox wasn't very original.  
The unoriginality continued in the next room with Falco the Falcon. There was also…  
"HEHEHEHE! I HAVE BOOBIES!" Fawful cried as he spun around the room. Duke had asked him if there were any women around.  
"For the last time, I demand quiet!" Thrall yelled as he attempted to whack Fawful on the head with his large war axe.  
"You make me chuckles!" Fawful said as he spun around Thrall's head like a housefly.  
"I'll… just… go…" Duke said. This was the last room, and he was clearly frustrated.  
He was about to grab the handle of the door out of the common room when it swung open, hitting Duke in the face. Shadow the Hedgehog walked in, singing the Chorus of the West Side Story song "Maria."  
"Maria! Maria! I just met a girl named Maria~!" he sang.  
"Girl?! Where?!" Duke said as he shook Shadow by the shoulders.  
"The bar! Where else?" Shadow said.  
"OF COURSE! The King is losing his Midas Touch!" Duke beamed as he got back his motivation to pick up chicks. He was so enthused, in fact, that he forgot that doors existed, and jumped out of the common room window.  
"…There aren't any girls at the bar, are there?" Falco asked Shadow.  
"No, just a very large, very angry black man,"


	7. Enter Tartarus

**Enter Tartarus**

Midnight approached, as Link stepped off the subway train. There was a slight chill in the air. Things here... felt different. It lacked the warmth that the castle had. The apparently abandoned lot was off limit to contestants, except during their turn to scale the tower. But Tartarus was nowhere in sight -- all Link could see was an old school, and a few others that had been asked to show up.

"Where --" Link began, but was quickly interrupted.

"You'll see soon enough." Mitsuru explained. "I want to go over how Tartarus works. You will have one hour to get as far into Tartarus as you can. When that hour is up, your places will be marked, and you will continue from there if you proceed into the next round -- which only half of you will do. The half of you that make it the furthest, will continue in this competition. There are seven blocks in Tartarus -- and at the end of each block is a barier. If two contestants reach the barrier before the time is up, then the other two contestants will be eliminated. There is no room for ties. Tartarus will test not only your physical strength, but your mental strength as well. Four of us will be available for support while you are in Tartarus. Myself, Teddie, Yamagishi, and Kujikawa. If at anytime you wish to forefit and leave the tower, do not hesitate to tell us. That is all."

It was quiet. The other contestants weren't up for small talk. Nor were any of the supports -- everybody was nervous. And with good reason. It would be the first time that anyone entered this version of Tartarus.

Link -- and the other contestants: Alucard, Magus, and Thrall all waited to be taken to the tower. Midnight crept closer as they all wondered where the tower was. 11:59:26. The wait was unnerving. 11:59:35. The supports didn't move. Was the tower behind the school? Why couldn't they go now? 11:59:45. They were going to be late. A tower couldn't be hidden so well in plain sight. 11:59:55. Fifty six. Fifty seven. Fifty eight. Fifty nine...

And then it happened -- the world around them began changing. A green aura surrounded everything, and the school had transformed into a large tower. The air now was colder than before. Link looked around him. Looked back to the castle, the lake now a pool of blood. This was the "Dark Hour" that Mitsuru had explained during orientation. An appropriate indeed.

"Shall we enter, then?" asked Mitsuru.

--Inside the Tower--

On the inside, the tower looked completely normal. There was a staircase leading to the next floor in the center of the floor. The four support characters were standing on the side, with gear in hand. On the other side, was a weird green device that nobody had seen before.

"Alright," Mitsuru began. "Yamigishi will be supporting Link. Teddie will support Thrall. Kujikawa will support Magus. And I'll be supporting Alucard. We will alert you when time is running out. Good luck to all of you."

The four participants lined up at the stairs, not even looking at one another. None were sure what was ahead. They slowly approached the door at the top of the stairs, and entered. The first match -- had begun.

---Link, 2F---

The second floor immediately looked familiar to Link. It was a fog-filled forest, that seemed to stretch onf orever. He looked to his left, and right. But none of the other participants were there. Had they gone on ahead of him? He didn't have time to think. So he just moved forward.

As he pushed on through the forest, he could hear the faint sound of a flute. The song reminded him of home. It soothed his mind and soul. It was a peaceful melody. Beautiful, and tranquil. Link smiled for a moment. This wasn't going to be so hard after all.

As he followed the melody, he watched closely for monsters. But there were none in the forest. It was empty except for the plant life that grew there. At least he thought it was -- until he could hear a familiar voice ---

"Listen!"

It was Navi! What was she doing here? Link turned around, and saw that it was in fact his old fairy. But what was she doing here?

"Listen!" Navi said again. "The forest is dangerous! Remember to use your sword!"

Link laughed. It wasn't so bad to have Navi around -- even if she were annoying from time to time. As he continued through the forest, Navi followed him.

"Listen!" she said again. This time with no helpful advice. "Listen! Listen! Hey! Listen!"

The voice was starting to get on his nerves. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" She kept getting louder, and louder, and louder. Soon Link could no longer hear the flute in the distance. All he could hear were Navi's cries for attention. "Listen! Hey!". Link began running, trying to listen for the flute in the process. Just when he thought he had lost the fairy, there she was -- in front of him, screaming "Listen!"

Link turned around, and ran the other way. But again, the fairy caught up to him. He ran north, and then east, but again the fairy was in front of him. "Hey! Hey! Hey!" He wasn't sure how she got here, or why she was here. She wasn't providing him with helpful hints -- she was just screaming at him. He continued running in all different directions, hoping to lose her.. The faster he ran, the quicker she caught up with him. He wasn't sure where he was going. "Hey! Hey! Hey!" the fairy called out.

"What do you want?!" Link finally asked. "Listen! Listen!" the fairy said.

"I am listening!" Link pleaded. But the fairy wouldn't have it. She kept shouting the same words over and over again. The more he plead with her to listen to him, the thicker the fog in the forest got. Link got on his knees, and began crying -- why wouldn't Navi just leave him alone?

---Alucard 2F---

The castle looked different from how Alucard remembered it. But the castle always seemed as if it had a mind of it's own. It was ever changing. And this was no different. Things seemed easy -- almost a little to easy to him. The room was empty, except for an altar in the middle. Behind the altar, were the stairs to the next floor. All he had to do, was go up them. Then he'd be on the second floor.

Alucard walked around the altar, and toward the stairs. But when he got there, he found that he could not proceed. It was some brand of magic that would not let him pass. It was then that he heard footsteps. He turned around...

"Hello." a feminine voice said. "My name is Elisabeth. What are you doing here this time of night? Haven't you heard that a monster lives here?"

Alucard was confused. He had not seen this woman before. How did she get here? Was she trapped inside of Tartarus? Or had Tartaturs transported him to his father's castle...

The girl smiled. "You can't go up the stairs. I've tried..."

She was young, and attractive. Alucard figured that his father had led her here somehow. Tricked her into becoming a slave of his. Was the barrier meant for her, and not him?

"I can't read the writing on this altar..." Elisabeth said. "Can you?"

Alucard approached the altar that he had passed earlier. The writing was ancient Romanian. It was no wonder that Elisabeth could not read it. The words inscribed upon the altar were...

_Ye Who Seek To Pass my sacred door  
I require but a sacrifice  
Of Human Blood  
And Nothing More  
_

Alucard was clearly freaked out by what the inscription on the altar said. But Elisabeth didn't seem to notice.

"I guess you can't read it either, huh?"

"It asked for a blood sacrifice." Alucard explained to her. He couldn't lie to her. He wasn't manipulative.

But the girl didn't seem to hear him. She kept smiling, and looking at the altar. "I'm getting married in a week, you know?"

"That's nice." Alucard told her.

"My fiance is writing a book! When it's done, he's going to let me read it!"

Alucard nodded, and smiled. Was she ignoring what he said? At least in regards to the altar? He regretted that he couldn't stay and talk to her any longer. But he had to move on to the next floor.

"So be it..." said Alucard. "If it requires a blood sacrifice, then I shall offer my own!"

Alucard slit his hand, and poured the blood on the altar. But nothing happened. The barrier still stood. "I SAID IF A BLOOD SACRIFICE YOU REQUIRE, TAKE MINE!"

But again, nothing happened. Alucard's blood was clearly not enough. He'd have to find another way past the barrier. Even if it meant losing time. He couldn't do to Elisabeth, what the altar had wanted him to do. It was entirely out of the question -- even at the risk of losing the contest.

---Magus, 2F---

Magus could see his reflection in the floor. It was made of reflective glass, and he could see himself as he had always seen himself - willing to go on, against all odds. He looked ahead, and saw that the staircase to the next floor was right in front of him. Beyond the stairs, was a maze of walls made of the same reflective glass that the floors were.

He approached the staircase cautiously -- this was too easy. There had to be some trick. And then he heard it -- her voice. _Schala's_ voice.

"Janus..."

It called out to him, but he ignored him. "Hmph... is this the best you can do?"

He ignored Schala's call. It was an obvious trick, to get him to follow her into the maze. He pressed on, but as he reached the top of the stairs -- his eyes deceived him. There was Schala just as he remembered her. The sister he had been seeking for so long.

"Janus..." she said, floating towards the maze of walls. But Magus ignored her. She wasn't real. He knew that she was just some trick. It was clever, he admitted. But pathetic nonetheless. He wouldn't fall for a trick so easily. He continued up the stairs, and proceeded to the next floor.

..But he found himself at the bottom of the stairs, leading back to the first floor. He was in the same room that he had just come from. And he saw the same Schala that he had seen before. She was beckoning him to follow her. He had no choice, but to do so.

As he followed her into the maze, images from his past flashed through his mind. Mere memories... what were they good for? Even with them, he couldn't save Schala. That's all he could think about. It's all he wanted to think about. Even outside of Tartarus. Schala was his only concern. He followed her deep into the maze. What did the tower want him to do? Was it really as simple as following the illusion of his sister?

---Link, 2F---

"Link! Remember what Navi said." Fuuka told him over the intercom. "Don't think about it too much."

Link tried to think back to what Navi had told him. 'The forest is dangerous. Remember to use your sword.' Link suddenly realized what he had to do -- he drew his sword, and Navi immediately disappeared. The forest was calm once again. But the flute was no longer playing.

There wasn't much else for LInk to do now. Wandering around the forest aimlessly wouldn't help him. He considered giving up. But he couldn't bring himself to do it without trying. So he concentrated his efforts on transforming into his wolf form -- and before long, he was Wolf Link.

Even in Tartarus there was a scent to follow -- though Link did not know who's. He ran towards the source, aiming to find it as fast as he could. As he got closer, the scent became stronger, and before long, Link transformed back itno his human form -- not letting whoever the scent belonged to, see him as a wolf.

"Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-limpah!" came a voice nearby. It was a voice that Link recognized. He cautiously approached the strange looking man that he knew as "Tingle".

"Would you like a map of the forest? 400 Rupees!" Tingle told him.

Link didn't have any rupees on him, though. So he could not purchase a map.

"Maybe you can find some in Tartarus?" Fuuka told him.

Yes.. he'd just have to find enough rupees to buy the map. Then he could go to the next floor..---Alucard, 2F---

Alucard tried every bit of magic he knew to break the barrier at the stairs -- but no matter what he tried, it failed. It was useless.

"I told you before, that you can't go that way!" Elisabeth said.

For a moment, Alucard considered forfeiting. The tower asked too much of him. To harm an innocent.. it was not in his nature. But to proceed in the tower... he needed only a little bit of her blood. What harm would it do, to slit her hand as he had his own? He couldnt' believe that he was actually considering it. But it seemed to be his only option.

"Come over here..." he said.

Elisabeth smiled, and obeyed Alucard's command. Alucard grabbed her hand. "Sorry..." he said, as he cut her hand. The blood dripped on the altar, and the room began to shake. He'd finally be able to proceed.

"I'm going now." He told Elisabeth. But she wasn't listening. She had fallen to the floor. Alucard looked in his pack for medicinal herbs. But there weren't any.

"Mitsuru. Is there anything I can do for Elisabeth?"

"I'm afraid not." Mitsuru responded. "I'm afraid.. she's dead."

"Dammit!" Alucard shouted. "WHY!?" He instantly regretted doing what he had done. Just a tiny cut... how could it have killed her? She was young. Beautiful. She had a lot to live for.

"Don't let her death be in vain." Mitsuru told him.

Alucard regained his composure. He then approached the stairs, and proceeded to the third floor...

---Thrall, 2F---

The wasteland seemed to be endless. And no matter how far he had gone, there were more Orc bodies lying about. Sometimes he thought he could see the other races standing over their bodies, laughing. He wasn't sure if it were part of the tower's games, or his imagination.

"C'mon Thrall!" Teddie said, hoping to cheer him up. "Don't go bear-zerk!"

Thrall wasn't sure if the tower was making Teddie say those things, or if it were just how he always was. He was attempting to make light of a situation that was anything but.

As Thrall traveled, the echo got louder and louder. He was sure that the source would be near by. It was a long time before he saw anything other than sand, and dead orcs. He had counted every single one he had passed, and he had counted well over ten thousand. What had happened here? Even though his rational mind was telling him that this wasn't real, part of him believed that it was. It was hard not to. He could see them. He could smell them. He could feel them. It bothered him greatly.

Finally, he saw something other than sand and bodies -- a figure in the distance. It was apparent that this figure was the one responsible for the voice. He approached it, but when he saw it -- he was more freaked out than he had been before. What he had seen -- was himself.

---Magus, 2F---

Magus continued following his sister through the maze. 'What a waste of time', Magus thought. Following an illusion around. What was the point of even doing this contest? Would whatever is at the top of Tartarus really help him in finding his sister? He wondered if what he was doing was worth it. He could quit now, and not waste his time. He could leave this world, and set off once more to find her. The thought had occurred to him -- but he realized that wasn't possible. He had no way of returning to his world. And according to the rules... nobody was allowed to leave until the contest was finished.

Magus had been blindly following Schala around for some time, before coming to a dead end. "Where's this..." he said to himself, turning around to see if Schala was behind him. But she wasn't -- he had been trapped between four walls. Then, he noticed something odd -- instead of his own reflection in the walls, he saw Schala.

"Let me pass!" Magus yelled. But Schala's reflection just smiled. "LET ME PASS!"

"Do you want to know where to find me?" Schala asked.

"YES!" Magus yelled. Did Tartarus know where his sister was? He'd gladly give up a chance in this tournament, if it meant finding Schala.

"Then be patient." The reflection told him. But being patient... wasn't something he was good at..

---Link, 2F---

"Four-hundred Rupees.' Link said, tossing a bag at Tingle. It had taken him a while to get them -- they weren't all easy to find. But he knew if he wanted to get further, he'd have to pay the wannabe fairy.

"Tingle! Tingle! Kooloo-limpah! Thank you for your patronage!" Tingle said, handing him a map. "Have a nice day, and please do business with us again!"

It felt oddly satisfying to Link, for him to hold the map in his hands. He knew now that he'd be advancing to the second floor soon enough. So long as the fairy's directions were true. But he had no reason to doubt Tingle. Though his prices were exuberant, his maps were always accurate. Link located his current location on the map, and then set off North.

The fog in the forest began to lift, as he walked towards the next fork in the road. He could faintly hear the sounds of a flute playing once again. Had it started back up because he was getting closer? It wasn't long before he reached another fork with three branches -- leading North, East, and West. Link glanced at the map, and then headed west.

At the next fork, he headed south. The flute got louder as he got closer. He knew that he had to be on the right path now. Tingle's map wasn't a trick after all. He was relieved to discover that. At the fork after that, he headed West. The flute got louder and louder as he got closer and closer. Finally, he could see the flute in the distance. It was raised in the air, but he could not see who was holding it. When he finally was close enough to see -- he discovered that nobody was playing the flute at all.

But Link didn't give it a second thought. The stairs to the next level were right behind the stump where the flute was floating. He proceeded up them, continuing on in his journey.

---Alucard, 3F---

The third floor looked a bit more like Alucard expected. It was maze like in design. Much more like the Tartarus that Mitsuru had described to him when she recruited him. Alucard proceeded to try to find his way around the maze, but was attacked by bats. Alucard knocked them down with his sword, and pressed onward.

The more he moved around in the maze, the more bats that attacked. He swatted them all down as if they were flies, having no trouble with them. He moved around as swiftly as he could, desperately searching for the stairs to the next floor.

"How am I doing, Mitsuru?" Alucard asked.

"You're doing well -- WATCH OUT! There's a Succubus ahead of you!"

Alucard dashed around the corner, and sure enough there was a succubus waiting for him. She was a busty, half-dressed woman, with red hair and wings. The sight may have enticed some men, but Alucard found the creature of darkness absolutely disgusting.

The succubus laughed, as Alucard approached her. "My master has sent me here to kill you!"

The succubus split into three, and Alucard quickly slashed the two false versions, and then struck at the real one. The real one withered in pain, as Alucard fought it off with another strike. He then jumped over her, and struck her from behind.

"You're not even good enough to kill." Alucard said, before running up the stairs behind her, proceeding to the 4th floor.

---Thrall, 2F---

Seeing himself say those words, made Thrall think. Was this really how he felt, without even knowing it? Did he see himself as the cause of problems? Or was the tower just messing with him? He couldn't be sure. Not completely.

"Am I truly the cause of this?"

"Aww!" Teddie said. "This isn't your fault thrall! I mean he BEARly looks like you!"

Thrall was fed up with Teddie's bear puns. "STOP MAKING LIGHT OF THIS SITUATION!" Thrall yelled.

"Teddies bear-y sorry!"

"That's it." Thrall said. "I quit. Get me out of here now, bear."

"Aww, don't be that way Thrall! I promise I won't do it anymore."

"No. I quit." said Thrall. "Now get me out of here."

"If that's what you want..."

And with that, a white light surrounded Thrall, and before he knew it, he was back at the entrance.

"Ahh! Please don't hit Teddie!" Teddie said, cowering in fear. But Thrall shook his head. It wasn't Teddie's fault. He knew it. In the end, it was really his own fault. The puns were only making him mad, because he saw everything as real. Even though he knew it wasn't. Teddie in his own way was trying to tell him that none of it was real. But he wouldn't listen. He took the situation too seriously -- and that's why he lost.

---Magus, 2F---

"Magus.. Thrall quit! Now you just have to pass Link or Alucard, and you advance!" Rise told him.

Magus grunted. "It doesn't help me, if I don't know how to get out of this trap!"

"You can figure it out!" Rise told him.

Magus grunted again. He wasn't sure he could -- nothing was making sense.

---Link, 3F---

The third floor, was filled with enemies much unlike the second. Link quickly grabbed his shield, and deflected a deku nut back at a deku scrub who had shot at him. It flung back, and killed the scrub instantly. The rest of the floor was littered with Deku Scrubs -- none of them any harder than the first. Link's shield acted as a weapon of destruction, and none of the scrubs stood a chance. It took little time for him to make his way to the stairs, and dash up them to the fourth floor.

---Alucard, 4F---

Back in the castle... at least that's what it appeared to Alucard. He was in the Throne Room. And in front of him was.... Richter?

"Richter!" Alucard said. "What are you doing here?"

"Die monster! You don't belong in this world!" Richter said.

Was this the castle's memory? What was going on. Alucard didn't understand. "What's going on, Richter?"

"Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"

Alucard tried to move out of the way, but Richter's eyes followed him. "I don't understand."

"Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill-needs a savior such as you! Have at you!"

Richter drew his whip, and slung it at Alucard. Alucard wasn't sure what to do. Richter must have thought Alucard was his father. It was all just a misunderstanding. Alucard would show him, by not attacking.

"I don't want to fight, Richter!"

But Richter wouldn't listen. He threw holy water at him, and crosses, and various other weapons he had on him. Alucard didn't draw his weapon. He took the punishment that Richter dealt out, and looked for the stairs. But they were nowhere to be seen. Would he have to fight Richter in order to find the stairs?

---Magus, 2F---

Magus was still trapped between the reflective glass walls. His sister remained still.

"Tell me... where you are." Magus said.

"Patience, Janus. And I shall reveal to you my location."

Magus waited a bit longer. But the reflection said nothing. It neither moved, nor made any sounds. His patience began to wear thin. The reflection would tell him nothing, and whenever he would ask, it would merely repeat the same phrase over and over again. Patience...

He didn't have time for this -- not if he was going to make it to the third floor. But the third floor didn't matter to him. All that mattered was Schala.

---Link, 4F---

The fourth floor was dark. Link could barely see in front of him. The floor was soft, so it was obvious that he wasn't in an area like the one earlier. But somehow... it all felt familiar. As he crept closer to the center of the room, he felt a presence there, but he wasn't sure what -- and then he saw it -- a giant eyeball. It was Queen Gohma!

Queen Gohma stood before him, and he quickly took out his slingshot, and shot the eye of the beast twice, before running towards it with a Deku Stick. He jumped at it, and slashed it in the eye with the stick. He then quickly withdrew his sword, and slashed at it three times, instantly killing it. All that was left of Queen Gohma, was a pile of rubble.

From behind the body of Queen Gohma, stairs appeared. Link ran up them, and proceeded to the fifth floor.

---Alucard, 4F---

Richter kept slashing Alucard with his whip, and Alucard continued taking the abuse. He wasn't going to fight back. He could convince Richter that he wasn't his father. Or at least, he'd try.

"I'm not my father!" Alucard yelled. But Richter, like Elisabeth earlier hadn't heard him.

Alucard realized that this wasn't really Richter -- but this Richter had the same skills as the one he knew. The same as the one who defeated his father. He had hoped that he had the same sense as the Richter he knew as well. But it all seemed for naught.

"Fine, I'll fight." Alucard said, realizing that he was running out of time.

---Magus, 2F---

Magus had finally lost his patience. He was sure that he had already almost been cost the contest -- he wanted to know where Schala was, and he wanted to know now.

"TELL ME NOW DAMMIT!" Magus screamed, swinging his scythe at the mirror image of Schala. And just like that -- the stairs appeared in front of him. This had clearly been a test of his psyche.

Magus grunted. He wondered if the tower even knew where his sister was. Had he waited, would he have been told? Or should he have broken the reflective glass earlier?

---Link, 5F---

As Link climbed the stairs up the fifth floor, he saw that this floor appeared different from the others. The stairs were right in front of him. And in front of it, a barrier. This must have been the stopping place for the first block of Tartarus.

"Good job!" Fuuka said. "It looks like you are the first one to reach the barrier!"

He was relieved. Tartarus wasn't nearly as easy as he had thought it would be. Fuuka then transported him back to the entrance, where he waited to see who else would make it to round 2.

---Alucard 4F---

Alucard jumped over Richter's whip, and then swung his sword, knocking Richter back. He then turned into a bat, and flew behind Richter, and pushed him over.

"Just remember.. this isn't Richter." Alucard told himself.

He then threw a fireball Richter's way, and burnt the Belmont boy.

---Magus, 3F---

Magus had finally reached the third floor. He had wasted enough time on the second, he had to proceed fast if he were to pass Alucard.

Only Roly's stood in his way, and he took them all out with ease with his dark magic -- one wave of his hand, and he sent a dozen of them to the promised land. They fell before his magic, as he ran in search of the stairs. He had no idea what would await him on the fourth floor -- but he had to get there if there was any hope of him continuing in this contest.

--Alucard 4F---

Richter snapped his whip towards Alucard, and Alucard grabbed the whip by the end, and took it out of his hand. Alucard then slapped him with it, and Richter fell over. He felt bad about fighting. But it was the only way for him to make it to the next level.

"Humans ill deserve such fate..." Alucard muttered to himself.

The stairs appeared where Richter had once stood. Alucard ran up them, hoping he wasn't too late.

---Magus, 3F---

Magus ran, eliminating all of the Roly's in his way. His Dark Matter spell wiped out several of them. Finally, the stairs were in sight -- he just had to run towards them.

"Sorry, Magus. It looks like you lose." he heard Rise say. A white light engulfed Magus, and before he knew it, he was transported back to the first floor.

---1F---

"Congratulations to Link and Alucard for advancing to the barrier on the fifth floor." Mitsuru said. "I'm sorry to say that you and Thrall have been eliminated, Zeal."

Magus slammed his fist as hard as he could against the walls of Tartarus. How could he lose! He couldn't understand it. But he had no chance but to accept defeat. He'd have to find a way to spend the rest of his time at the castle.

~*Post Match*~

Link returned to his room, half past midnight. It seemed as if time didn't pass during the dark hour.

"How was it?" Yuri asked.

"Tartarus will certainly test you." Link told him. "...Thrall quit."

"What? He didn't look like the type to just quit."

Link shook his head. "I thought about quitting for a minute, there. Anyway, I"m going to sleep. Good night."

"Night'." Yuri told him.

As Link closed his eyes, trying to go to sleep, visions of Tartarus continued to haunt him. How did the tower know so much about the contestants? How was it creating those images? And what was in store for him in round two? 


	8. Six Bullets

**Six Bullets**

Four more participants were ready to scale Tartarus.

Red, and his Squirtle were excited to enter Tartarus. He had been assigned Rise as his support, and before entering -- she gave him a kiss on the cheek for good luck. He wanted to impress her more than anything, by reaching the barrier first.

X was the one of the four who was the least bit nervous. For him, this was nothing more than scaling a tower. He figured that there weren't many psychological ways for the tower to stop him. He planned to make his way to the top, and figured his only obstacle would be the other Mega Man, and Zero. He wasn't sure about having Teddie as support, but he figured it couldn't be too bad.

Captain John Price wasn't very nervous either. His support -- Fuuka -- didn't look like much. But he didn't need support. He'd kick the tower's ass in no time at all. He had faced the worst terrorists the world has ever known. A tower wasn't going to give him any trouble.

And then there was Ocelot, supported by Mitsuru. He looked about as ready as the rest of them. He was an old man, but that wasn't about to stop him. He carried with him his two favorite things - his two Colt Single Action Army Revolvers. With plenty of ammo for anything that might be in the tower.

The supports ushered them to the stairs, and they all went to face their first challenges.

---Red, 2F---

Red found himself on what appeared to on what appeared to be Nugget Bridge in Cerulean City. Only the end of the bridge were stairs leading up to the next level. In the water under the bridge, Magikarps were happily jumping up and down. But standing between him and the stairs -- was Misty.

"Hah! There you are!" said Misty. "You aren't allowed to go to the next level, until you admit Ash is a better trainer!"

Red rolled his eyes. "Is that all? Fine. Ash is a better trainer than me. Now let me pass."

"Hmph! Like I'd let you get by that easy!" misty said. "Admit I'm a better trainer than you!"

"And you'll let me pass?"

"Umm... only if you admit I'm pretty too!"

Red face palmed. He couldn't believe that the tower would be this easy on him. "Fine. You're a better trainer than I am, and you are pretty."

"Okay, I guess you can pass then!" Misty said.

And she stepped aside, for Red to pass.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Rise asked.

"Uh... no." Red said. "Like I'd date a girl like her..." He then proceeded to the third floor.

---X, 2F---

X found himself to be in what he assumed to be a lab. He wasn't the only one in the lab though -- Dr. Wily was there too. And he was knocked out cold.

INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM DR. LIGHT

Dr. Wily has been deemed too dangerous to live.  
Though it is against the rules of robotics  
You must kill him X!  
-Dr Light.

X hesitated for a moment. Was this a trick -- if he killed Dr. Wily would he not be allowed to proceed to the next floor? By following the rules set forth, would he be allowed to advance? Or would he have to break the rules in order to advance? Logically... the first thing he'd have to try would be to go up the stairs. If that failed, he'd just have to kill Dr. Wily. Of course, there's the chance that Dr. Wily would wake up if he attempted to go up the stairs, and failed. But it was a risk he was willing to take.

X headed up the stairs.. and found himself on the next level.

---Captain Price, 2F---

Captain Price found himself in the middle of a war zone. It looked like somewhere in the middle east. He was quickly on his guard, as he always had to be in a war zone. There was only one person around though -- another member of the SAS. But that didn't put him at ease.

"You have to kill him." a voice said.

"That an order? Guess I have no choice. See ya in hell, ya son of a *****!", and he fired his AK47 into the man, killing him.

"You may proceed."

"Well, ****! That was easy!" Price said to himself, as he went up the stairs that appeared out of nowhere.

---Ocelot, 2F---

Ocelot found himself in a place he hadn't been in a long time -- Tselinoyarsk. He was standing knee deep in water, and it was raining. The river appeared to be burning. He found himself walking forward without thinking much. Smoke filled the air. As he went forward, it got darker. And then -- a cloaked figure appeared.

"Sad. So Sad." the cloaked figure said. "A host of sorrows. And you are one of them."

"Who the hell are you?" Ocelot asked.

"I am The Sorrow, like you I too am filled with sadness. This world is one of Sadness. Battle brings death. Death brings sorrow. The living may not hear them. Their voices. May fall upon deaf ears, but make no mistake. The dead -- are not silent. Now you will know the sorrow of those whose lives you have ended."

With that, the man's cloak came off, and Ocelot saw that it was his father standing before him. Blood started coming out of his eye.

"Death is tragic... but life is miserable. That is why you were summoned here."

Ocelot could hear the sound of gunfire, as his first victims screamed in agony. But it didn't bother Ocelot. Those men he killed, they all served a purpose.

Lightning struck in the background as Ocelot made his way forward. "Brace yourself!" The Sorrow told him. The further he tread, the more souls he could see. The more souls he saw, the more tired he became. Though he had killed many in his life, he had never before been bothered by it. But now... it was wearing him out. He could feel the pain of his victims. He could no longer be blind to what he had done.

"Your journey has just begun..." The sorrow told him.

---Red, 3F---

Red found himself in a maze, filled with trainers. Now this looked like the challenge he had signed up for!

As he turned the first corner, he was stopped by a youngster.

"Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!"

The boy then sent out his first Pokemon, a Rattata. Red followed suit, sending out his Squirtle. "Hydro pump now!" Red called out, and Squirtle blasted the Rattata with water, and knocked it out in a single blow. "Piece of cake."

"I'm not done yet!" Joey said. "Go Spearow!"

"Squirtle, headbutt!" Red called out this time, and Spearow was sent flying by Squirtle's headbutt.

"Aww! I lost." Joey said, as Red ran past him, heading for the next challenger -- a Lass who was standing a few feet away.

"My boyfriend thinks my Gloom is so cute, don't you agree!" The lass said, sending her Gloom out.

"Okay, Squirtle." Red said. "This one's going to be a bit tougher...

---X, 3F---

There were Mettool c-15's everywhere. Aside from finding the stairs, they were the only thing standing in X's way of making it to the fourth floor. He shot his X blaster off at each and every one of them, killing them in a few shots. It took him a while to make his way across the floor -- slowly but surely he did though, and killed every single one of them. He then found the stairs, and proceeded up them...

---Captain Price, 3F---

Saudis! They were everywhere. Captain John Price couldn't believe how much more difficult the third floor was from the second. They were all loaded with Ak-47's, and all of them seemed to be decent shots. Price slowly walked towards the first one, and pointed his Ak-47 at his head.

"Tell Al-Asad, hi for me!" he said, as he blew the first Saudi''s head off. "Huh! These guys can't tell their heads from their arses."

He jumped in front of the next set of soldiers, and fired at them with his AK-47. "Die you sorry sacks of lard!" Price emptied his gun into a group of enemies, and then dived behind the wall for cover to reload. He then jumped back for more, and fired even more. "C'mon! I could take on the whole Saudi army!"

---Ocelot, 2F---

Ocelot was moving on... towards the days of Foxhound. The further he went, the more he recognized the people he killed. And then... he remembered one of their names.

"The hell?" Ocelot said. "I didn't kill Wolf!"

"Vut you did contrivute you my death!" Wolf said.

"That's right. Your plan caused the other members of FOXHOUND to die. Their sadness... is yours as well."

It wasn't long, before he saw the other members of FOXHOUND -- Vulcan Raven, Psycho Mantis... Liquid Snake.

"YOU STOLD MY IDENTITY!" Liquid yelled, and Ocelot felt his whole body vibrate.

"You betrayed me!" Sergei shouted at him.

Ocelot could feel the sorrow surrounding him. He knew this was a test set upon him. And that he'd have to get to the end to pass it. He realized the weight that was on him -- the people he had killed. The people he had caused to be killed... Such was the way of war, though.

"That all you got, old man?" Ocelot yelled. But The Sorrow only laughed.

The cries of those he had killed still filled the air. Their voices haunted him. Their images attempted to attack him. Blaming him for their deaths. Even if dying was the purpose of a soldier... it was him that brought about their deaths. They blamed him, and he knew it. But he could take it.

Ocelot's body got heavier the further he walked. And finally... he saw the last man he killed.

"Go back to your world." The Sorrow told him. "Wake up!"

Ocelot felt himself fall into the water. He could still hear the cries of those he had killed in his head. He struggled to get up. He could hear his father say... "We'll meet again someday.." as he woke up. He rose to the surface, part out of breath. He crawled to land, out of breath. He coughed up water, and then got on his feet. In front of him were the stairs to the next level. He ascended them, wondering what the tower had in store for him next.

---Red, 3F---

"Gloom, Stun Spore!"

"Dodge it Squirtle!" Red shouted out. "Alright, now hit it back with another headbutt!"

Squirtle got into position, and headbutted the Gloom against the wall. This time, the gloom fell out, and the Lass was done for. "Aww. But my pokemon is still cuter than yours!"

"Don't worry, Red! I think Squirtle's much cuter than Gloom!" Rise said, trying to reassure him, but not realizing Red didn't care.

Red navigated his way through the maze, trying to find the stairs -- but all he found, was another trainer. This time it was a Beauty who wished to battle.

"My fiancé is probably on victory road by now!" she said.

Red sent his Squirtle out, and the Beauty sent out her Skitty.

"Skitty, use attract!" Beauty said. And instantly, it started sending out pheromones that caused Squirtle to fall in love with it.

"Snap out of it Squirtle!" Red called out, "and headbutt it!"

But Squirtle didn't listen. In fact, Squirtle didn't do anything. And Beauty had her Skitty used Double Edge on Squirtle -- it was a critical hit. But it seemed to knock some sense into Squirtle, who got up, and used Headbutt on Skitty without Red calling out the command. Skitty used Double Edge on Squirtle again, but Squirtle dodged that time, and then used Hydro Pump to finish it off.

"My fiancée could beat you!" the beauty told him, as he walked off. "He has a wailord! And when our Pokemon have babies together...."

Red almost stopped in his tracks as he heard that, but decided to ignore it, and move on.

---X, 4F---

X found himself standing on solid ice. It was slippery, and he had to be careful not to move. He was rapped in a room that looked oddly familiar. And in front of him, was a Maverick that was also familiar - Chill Penguin. He immediately charged his X-buster, and began firing rapidly at the Maverick.

Chill Penguin used his icy breath to create blocks of ice, and then chiseled them out in the shape of a penguin. X jumped on to the wall on the left side, as Chill Penguin began chipping away at them, and sending all three flying his way. X jumped back to the ground, and fired at Chill Penguin once more. But he couldn't get too many shots off, before Chill Penguin created three more blocks of ice, and began chiseling again. X jumped on the right wall this time, and Chill Penguin stopped in his tracks, and jumped for X. But X fired a shot off, and knocked him back to the ground. X then jumped over him, and fired a few more shots, before going back to the wall. He charged his shot, as Chill Penguin made three more blocks of ice. As he began to chisel the blocks, X gave him a full blast -- and Chill Penguin exploded on impact.

After the defeat, on the far side, the stairs appeared, and X went up them.

---Captain Price, 3F---

Still on the third floor, Captain Price was trying to hold his position. But the amount of Saudi Troops seemed to be too high for him. He could risk it, and try rapid firing at all of them, but it wasn't a risk he was willing to take. He knew he might be behind -- but he couldn't exactly sneak past the soldiers. He'd have to let them come to him. So he waited, and one by one they came for him, and one by one he blew their brains out.

---Ocelot, 3F---

As Ocelot climbed to the third floor, he could see a number of soldiers waiting for them. All of them Russian, and all of them aware of his traitorous ways.

"C'mon fellas!" he said, as he set foot on the third floor. "Give an old man a break!"

They all raised their guns, and brought their fingers to the trigger -- and just like that, Ocelot began firing. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Reload. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. And just like that all of them lay on the ground. Ocelot blew on the end of his gun.

"I guess not." He then proceeded to navigate his way around the maze. Soon enough, he found the stairs to the fourth floor -- after having trouble with the sorrow, he had his chance to catch up. But what was waiting for him on the fourth floor... wasn't going to be nearly as easy.

---Red, 3F---

Red's next obstacle was a Cooltrainer, who'd certainly be more difficult than the last. But what Pokemon did the Cooltainer have on her?

"Arcanine, go!" The Cooltrainer said.

"A fire type? Really?" Red asked. "Hmph. Squirtle, let's turn this girl to dust. HYDRO PUMP!"

"Dodge it Arcanine!" Cooltrainer demanded, and the Arcanine ran at lightning fast speed, and jumped out of the way of the Squirtle. "Now Bite it!"

Squirtle, vulnerable from Hydro pump, took a full on bite from Arcanine. But Squirtle wasn't out yet. "HYDRO PUMP AGAIN!" Red called out. This time, it was a direct hit. But Arcanine wasn't down either. The battle was far from over.

---X, 5F---

On the fifth floor, X found the barrier.

"Congratulations!" Teddie said. "Good job!"

Teddie then transported X back to the first floor. "You'll be going on to round two!"

X was satisfied with how he had done. He didn't think he had much to worry about, as he was the first to reach the fifth floor of his group, and he saw no reason for that to change in the next round.

---Captain Price, 3F---

Price reloaded his AK-47, and shot back at the Saud's who were making their way towards him. They were moving slowly, too slowly for him to advance any further. "Crap! This is taking too long..." he said. He wasn't sure how long he had been on this floor, but he was sure others were going on ahead of him.

He decided to make a dash for it, shooting at the Saudis as he made his way around another corner, and then towards a dead end. "Dammit..." he said to himself. "Wrong way." He then dashed around another corner. Another dead end! It seemed endless. He had taken out another four men though, and it looked like only a few were left. He could do this. It was just a matter of time.

Captain Price walked towards the end of the wall, crouched, and blew the heads off of the four remaining soldiers. Now all that was left -- was to find the stairs.

---Ocelot, 4F---

In front of Ocelot, was a field of white flowers. And standing in the middle was The Boss. His mother. The woman that he had looked up to all of his life. Was he going to have to fight her? Could he do it? She was a legend. She was the things myths were made of. To fight her though, would be an honor.

"Well, Kid. Looks like we're going to have to do battle."

Ocelot nodded. "I'm not a kid anymore, Lucknow."

The Boss smiled. "You don't have an emotion that you bring with you into battle, do you? I didn't think so. That's why you could never have been one of us. Now let's get this over with!"

Ocelot drew his gun, and for the first time in a long time, the first six shots all missed -- not a single one of them hit. The Boss had ducked into the flowers, and began running around. Ocelot looked around, but he could see her -- and then he felt her crawl up behind him and grab him from behind. She began choking him from behind. She twisted his neck, and left him on the floor.

"You have to do better than that!" she shouted.

She then began running around. He tried keeping his eye trained on her. But she disappeared too quickly. "I'm getting too old for this..." he told himself.

He tried listening for her -- but her footsteps were too light for him to hear. When he finally did hear something -- it wasn't her footsteps, but the sounds of her Patriot shooting at him. He took a few shots, and keeled over. "Dammit... having to fight the boss... a little unfair, don't you think?"

"Quit thinking of me as The Boss."

Ocelot laughed. "Never." he said, and fired a shot off -- this time hitting her.

He quickly reloaded. * I love to reload during a battle! There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver bullet into a well greased chamber."

Before he finished reloading, The Boss came at him, and knocked him over again, this time punching him several times. He tried throwing her off, but had trouble with it. She may not have been the real boss, but she was difficult enough. He quickly hit her with two more bullets before she disappeared into the sea of flowers once more.

---Red, 3F---

"Finish it with another Hydropump!" Red called out. Squirtle hit Arcanine with another blast of Hydropump, and this time knocked out Arcanine. The cooltrainer was left with no remaining Pokemon.

"Now that's hot.' Cooltrainer Paris said.

Red ignored her, and ran towards the stairs behind her, hoping he wasn't too slow.

---Captain Price, 3F---

Price ran back and forth, looking for the stairs. He found himself going in circles, seeing the same dead saudi's everywhere he went. He couldn't find them for the life of him. "Stupid stairs.." he said to himself.

The more he ran, the more he got lost. If this were the battlefield, he'd have an easy time. But it wasn't. it was a giant tower, where nothing made any sense. He made it to the third floor in record time, but the third floor had caused him so much grief.

As he continued running through the maze, he wondered if his opponents were faring any better. He knew that they wouldn't all have made it to the fifth floor by now. They couldn't have.

And then, something happened. A chill went down his spine, as he heard the sounds of chains clinking. "...the hell?" he asked himself. The air grew colder. The sound of the chains going clink clank, clink clank, was getting closer and closer. Price could hear his breathing get louder, and louder, along with the sound of the chains. His heart beat faster. Faster. What was making that sound? Another Saudi? That was the last thing he needed. The chains were moving slowly. Price could feel the sweat dripping down his forehead. The louder the noise got the more unnerving it became. And then -- he saw the source of the noise. The Reaper.

It wore chains, and a coat, and carried two guns with long barrels. "Oh s--" he began to say. But the next thing he knew the reaper was casting a spell of blinding light on him. He began firing his AK-47 at it, but it didn't seem to be doing the job. Price laughed nervously. He knew this was it. "Guess I'll have to say hi to Al-assad myself..." As the spell finished, Price could feel his body rip apart, piece by piece. "What a ****ing way to go WOOO!" he shouted, laughing as his body was blown to bits. Parts of his body were scattered across the floor. John Price, was dead.

---Ocelot, 4F---

Ocelot got back up, and started running around the area. "Come on, Boss! Don't hide! What are you, afraid?"

Then Ocelot felt her crawl up behind him again, where she drug him to the ground by his neck, before scattering off again. Ocelot ran after her, but lost sight for her quickly. He walked slowly around the field of flowers, looking for her. He caught a glimpse of her, and finally fired another shot. A fourth hit! After that, The Boss went running off again. This time, firing at Ocelot from behind a tree. Ocelot fired again, and hit her in the arm. Ocelot laughed. "Not so tough, after all huh?"

She then ran from behind the tree, faster than Ocelot's bullets could go, and ran behind him, and pulled him into a choke hold. The pain was unlike anything Ocelot had ever felt before, and unlike anything he had ever given out before, even in his torture sessions.

---Red, 4F---

Red had finally made it to the fourth floor. And it looked like the inside of a Gym -- specifically Vermilion Gym.

"Oh look! If it ain't a baby!" came the voice of Lt. Surge. "C'mon Raichu let's beat this little whelp!"

"Alright, Squirtle! Let's show him what water can do to electricity!" Red said, as he sent Squirtle out.

Surge laughed. "Alright Raichu, let's finish this off before breakfast! THUNDER!"

Surge's Raichu sent a large surge of electricity towards Squirtle. It looked to be a critical hit, knocking Squirtle clear back to the other side of the gym. Squirtle looked like he was nearly down and out. But he managed to get back up.

"You're tougher than that Squirtle! Double Team!"

Squirtle began speeding up, and soon there were two versions of him.

"Thundershock both of em' Raichu! Show this baby that no Electric Pokemon's going to lose to some water type!"

Squirtle managed to dodge out of the way of the thundershocks. "Now tackle!" Red called out. He hoped he wasn't running out of time. He had to end this battle, and fast.

---Ocelot, 4F---

The Boss ran off after knocking Ocelot down. Ocelot got back up, and watched The Boss closely this time. Her speed was surreal. He couldn't keep up with her, as she got behind him again, and put him in a choke hold. Once more she ran off. Ocelot was feeling weak, and wondering if he could really go on. He was starting to cough up blood -- but he wouldn't have had it any other way.

The Boss ran behind him again, and began shooting at him before scattering into the flowers once again. Ocelot crawled to the ground, hoping The Boss couldn't see him. But he was wrong. She managed to sneak up to him, and fire some bullets into his side. Ocelot pulled them out as fast as he could, and got back up. He had to end this quickly, but he wasn't sure how. Then he saw it -- his opportunity. The Boss was standing behind him. He knew he couldn't turn fast enough to shoot her. He knew that in the time he turned, she'd have enough bullets in him to kill him. But he couldn't' give up. Not here and now. Ocelot fired at the tree branch, and the bullet ricocheted off of it, and then hit The Boss square in the chest -- knocking her over.

Ocelot laughed. He couldn't believe that he actually won. "Six Bullets... enough to kill anything that moves." he said.

The Boss was now coughing up blood. She motioned Ocelot to come towards her. Ocelot obeyed. Even if it wasn't really the boss... it was his duty to listen to her in any case.

"Pride..." she said.

"Hmm?" Ocelot asked.

"Pride... is your emotion."

Ocelot half smiled, as he watched the image of The Boss disappear. "Thanks..." he said. Even if it was just a creation of the tower's. Ocelot turned around and saw the stairs in front of him, and began walking towards them.

---Red, 4F---

"Alright Squirtle, let's finish this off! DIG!"

Squirtle dug into the ground, and disappeared from the arena. Raichu looked around for it, trying to move out of it's way. But it couldn't predict where it'd be.

"Thunder the whole arena!" Surge called out.

But the thunder never hit. Squirtle dug right out from under Raichu, and then sent him flying to the ceiling. When Raichu landed, he was knocked out.

"Heh... looks like you're not a baby after all." Surge said. "You may pass."

The stairs appeared behind Surge, and Red ran towards them.

---Red, 5F---

Red made it to the barrier, half out of breath. He was then instantly transported back to the first floor.

---Ocelot, 4F---

Ocelot was near the top of the stairs, when he was suddenly transported back to the first floor...

---First Floor---

"What happened?" Ocelot asked. "Time's up?"

Mitsuru shook her head. "Sorry Ocelot, but you lost."

Ocelot laughed. "Figures..."

"Good job, Red!" Rise said. "I'm glad you made it to the top!"

Red laughed nervously. He couldn't believe how close they had just come. If he hadn't wasted so much time on Paris's Arcanine, it wouldn't have been nearly as close. But he was glad to be advancing to the next round.

"Where's Price?" Red asked.

"I'm... afraid Price was killed."

"By what?" Red asked.

"The reaper. It appears if you stay on a floor for too long."

Red felt his throat swell a little. Staying on one floor too long.. if the next floors were too difficult. "Why weren't we warned of this danger?"

"Because up until this point, we were unsure if he had returned or not. We apologize... We'll do all we can to restore Price to his original world. But that could take some time."

With that, the match was over. Red and X advanced, while Ocelot didn't. And Price... he was dead. Gone. Nobody knew if there was anything that could be done. For now... it looked like there wasn't. But all hope wasn't lost.

~*Post Match*~

"Can I get you something to drink?" Celes asked.

"Something... hard." Ocelot said.

"Coming right up! Locke --"

"Got it!"

Sitting next to Ocelot, was The Boss. She was in his common room, and probably heard he was here. Or at least he had hoped so.

"You lost to a kid." She said.

Ocelot laughed. "You could put it that way. That tower.. it's not a piece of cake, Boss."

"I know that." she said. "But I'm still disappointed in you. You should've advanced. Letting a kid beat you."

Ocelot laughed again. "You're one to talk."

"...you did good though." she said.

"Thanks." was all Ocelot could say.

Celes gave Ocelot his drink, and he and his mom sat there without saying a word. It was a nice moment for him. Perhaps one of the nicest in his life. "I saw my father..' he said with a hint of subtly. The Boss gasped. She wondered if The Sorrow would be waiting for her too. And if he was... though she'd be ready to face him, she wasn't sure if she wanted to.


	9. In Their Shadow

**In the Shadow**

The next four to tackle Tartarus were Luigi supported by Rise, Shadow supported by Teddie, Amatearsu supported by Yukiko, and Meta Knight supported by Fuuka.

Luigi didn't know why, but he liked Rise. She made him feel taller for some reason. It didn't seme to bother her that he wasn't Mario. And Luigi liked that.

Teddie and Shadow didn't seem to get along. Which worried Mitsuru. She decided to supervise, and let Yukiko Amagi support Amatearsu.

The four contestants walked up the stairs to face their first challenges...

---Luigi, 2F---

"Ohhhh noooo!" Luigi said as he stepped onto the 2nd floor landing to reveal an endless black void. "Where-a am I?!" Luigi began to run in one direction, but the blackness was unending. Eventually he became tired of running and his Poltergust 3000 felt like a bag of bricks strapped to his back

Without warning, a door of light appeared a few feet above him. It was a jump he could make with his superior jumping skills; the one thing he had above Mario.

"Jump through the door to proceed." came a disembodied voice.

Luigi looked left to right, then all around, then up and down for good measure. There was nothing but darkness and the bright door. "What's-a the catch?"

"No catch," said Tartarus.

"Hmmm… I dunno," Luigi said as he put his gloved hand to his mustache and thought about the situation. "I guess it's worth a try! Here we goooo!" Luigi backed up, then sprinted towards the door. He jumped, wiggling his long legs in the air to get the extra height. He was just about to reach the door when he felt something push down on the top of his head.

Luigi fell to the ground, his Poltergust falling next to him with a loud thud. He looked up to see Mario, or, at least, a grayer, more dead-eyed Mario, standing at the door. He laughed his Italian laugh, then turned and strutted into the light dramatically.

"Mariooooo!" Luigi cried, looking distressed, "Why-a you do this to me?!"

Luigi figured something must be wrong with Mario. Why would he try to impede his dear younger brother's progress?

Luigi decided it was best to question this later, as he knew it would be best to finish as quickly as possible and get out of the tower. He ran back, turned around, then charged the door. This time he gave extra wiggle to his legs and he soared through the air. But, again, he was thwarted mere inches from his goal. Another Mario appeared out of seemingly nowhere and bounced off of Luigi's head, then laughed at him as he fell.

Luigi tried a third time, then fourth, then fifth, sixth and seventh. Each time he grew more and more angry. He didn't want to hurt his brother, but Mario was just being a jerk to him. While it was true that Mario was the big brother and saved the Princess countless times, it didn't give him any reason to treat him that way.

Luigi felt a dark power rising inside him, as if the shadow that Mario cast over him was manifesting itself in some way. He looked down at his arms as a shadow crept down his arm; but this shadow was unlike any he had ever seen. It was turning him into a negative version of himself. He became some kinda of black and neon blue entity, and felt the power brimming within him.

The Negative Green Plumber jumped towards the door. As he drifted slowly upwards, he noticed that Mario was coming down to jump on him, but much more slowly. Luigi took out his Poltergust and blasted Mario with a burst of harmless air, sending him flying away in slow motion. His animosity towards Mario finally gave him the will to blast through the second floor challenge and to the third.

---Amaterasu 2F---

The second floor of the tower appeared as a void to the sun goddess Amaterasu, and her companion Issun. It was completely empty of anything. There were no stairs to the next floor. There was nothing. Then she saw it...

"Konohana-sakuya!" Yukiko shouted, as she saw the blossom princess materialize on the second floor.

"Ah! Such divine white light! Such beauty and grace! The only one capable of such a wondrous spectacle is non other than our mother and the origin of all that is, Amaterasu! How delightful to see that the savior whose brave sacrifice sealed away the evil demon so many years ago has not changed one bit. And it seems as if you are being supported by Yukiko! Such nostalgia!"

"My persona is now Amaterasu." Yukiko explained.

"Yes, and that must not be coincidence, Princess of Inaba."

"Snrk... Princess! Me? Ahahahaha! That's a good one!"

"But sadly, I am not here to speak with old friends. I must deliver the message of Tartarus -- ye who seeks to proceed to the next floor, must only step through the sacred doors."

"Well that's easy enough!" Yukiko said.

With that, Sakuya disappeared as quickly as she had appeared. Amaterasu walked towards the sacred doors, ready to proceed to the next floor.

"Hey furball!" Issun said, shouting from nowhere.

Amaterasu turned around. It was the tiny traveling artist Issun! Amaterasu chased him around for a bit, before he jumped on her back.

"Come on! We have to go help some people!" he said.

The white wolf whined. She had been told by Sakuya that she just needed to walk through the sacred doors to proceed to the next floor. But if people were in trouble... it was her duty to help them out.

---Meta Knight 2F---

Meta Knight entered the second floor to find he was back in the Green Greens or Dreamland. An endless field of grass… but something was wrong.

"Sir! Nightmare's launched a full assault!" cried one of Meta Knight's soldiers, a Sword Knight, as he ran up to his commander. "We have to—"

The Sword Knight was silenced by a trident that hit him in the back. Meta Knight caught his limp body and rested it on the ground as he surveyed his surroundings. He wasn't sure where the trident came from, but suddenly realized that he had much bigger problems to worry about.

On the distant hills Meta Knight spied a force of monsters the likes of which he had never seen. An army of thousands stormed towards him. Lines and lines of beasts and soldiers. An endless river of demons. Meta Knight couldn't believe such a task would be beset to him on only the second floor.

"You may only pass once you abandon your allies and run away," came the voice of Tartarus.

"Allies…?" Meta Knight spoke to himself. Suddenly a dozen or so Blade Knights, Swords Knights and other warriors in his unit crowded around him.

"Don't worry, sir! We're with you!" Spoke a Blade Knight. The others chanted as they raised their arms in the air. "What's the plan of attack?"

Meta Knight briefly considered simply walking away right then and there as he watched the sea of enemy troops draw closer and closer by the second. He quickly banished the thought from his mind, however, and chose to stick back and help defend his land from evil.

"Alright, here's what we have to do…" Meta Knight said as he began to detail his tactics to his knights.

---Shadow, 2F---

An empty room. That's where Shadow found himself. It looked like a laboratory. But he couldn't be sure. What wasn't there, was a set of stairs.

"Where are the stairs?" Shadow asked himself.

"Come on Shadow! You can do this! You just have to beat Luigi, Meta Knight, and that horse!"

"Horse?" Shadow asked. "I thought Amaterasu was a wolf."

"That makes much more sense!" Teddie said. "I was told she was a horse!"

Shadow shook his head -- was his support this gullible? Was he that trustworthy? Just like... Maria. And that's when Shadow saw her -- a blonde girl in a blue dress standing in front of him. So innocent like

---Luigi, 3F---

he third floor greeted Luigi with an army of Boos that crowded the entire ceiling. As he took a few step forwards, the Boos swarmed him in some kind of military formation. Luigi's Negative energy still flowed within him, and Luigi was able to annihilate the ghosts with several blasts of fire from his Poltergust. He didn't feel an ounce of fear as he blasted one after another with ease. He carved a path through the ghosts and reached the fourth floor without an ounce of trouble.

---Amaterasu 2F----

"It looks like the bridge is out!" Issun said. "Don't worry, I can still draw us a new one!"

Immediately, Issun took out his paintbrush and began painting a new bridge, and just like that -- the bridge had been fixed.

The two ran around helping people out in various ways. Donating money to the springs. Fixing broken bridges. And filling the world with light. It was a tiring, thankless task. But Issun seemed happy to do it. And so did Amaterasu. But she continued worrying about what Sakuya had told her. She wasn't sure if this were part of her task -- or if this were merely her distraction.

---Shadow, 2F---

"Maria..." Shadow said.

"It's nice to see you again." she said, with a smile on her face. "This place... it's kind of cold, don't you think?"

She was right. The tower was a little cold. For a human like her, it must have been very cold, if even he were starting to shiver.

"Can you get me out of here?" she asked. "I don't like it here anymore."

"Of course!" Shadow said, forgetting where he was.

"Then please... Shadow! Quit this contest. Take me out of this tower. Please... do it for me!"

"Alright!" he said. "I'll do it!"

"Tell Teddie." she said.

"Teddie, I want to quit!"

"But Shadow...!"

"No, I want to quit!" he said.

"Alright, but are you absolutely sure?" Teddie asked.

"Yes."

A sinister laugh filled the air. Shadow recognized the laugh - it was Dr. Robotnik's laugh.

"You gullible fool! You've quit this contest for nothing!"

The image of Maria disappeared, and a white light surrounded Shadow, as he was transported back to the first floor.

---Amaterasu 2F---

"Just a couple more to go!" Issun said, as they continued helping people out.

Amaterasu whined a little.

"What's wrong, Ammy?"

Amaterasu looked in the direction of the sacred doors.

"You want to go on? But there's more people to help!"

Amaterasu shook Issun off of her. She had come to realize that this had all been a distraction. Tartarus did not have people living in it -- and she wasn't sure if Issun was real or not.

"You're not sure I'm even real or not? Well okay... Furball. You can go on."

Amaterasu let out a happy howl, and she ran towards the double doors. The doors opened for her, and behind them were a set of stairs. She climbed up them, but as she did... she felt something jump on her back.

---Luigi, 4F---

Luigi hopped to the fourth floor, still in his Negative form. He felt stronger, faster, like he could do anything. He had no fear. Luigi was greeted by a King Boo as he reached the fourth floor landing.

Luigi did a triple jump, with an impressive spin added to his third hop. Boo cackled as Luigi flew towards him. Luigi took out his Poltergust and began to light up the King Boo, who laughed even as he was burned to an ectoplasm-y crisp by Luigi.

The Green Blur finally landed on the flaming marshmallow boo with a single flying kick that popped it like a balloon.

"Defeat King Boo to move—Oh, you already did it? Damn, that took like five seconds," Tartarus said as he finally chimed in. "Proceed to the next floor."

Luigi took a casual stroll up the steps to the fifth floor. As he did so the Negative energy seemed to dissipate from his body. His blue and black suit went back to its normal bright green, and Luigi suddenly felt a lot less empowered and a lot more scared at what lurked inside him. "What-a was that…?" Luigi asked himself over and over until he finally reached the fifth floor. He was instantly transported to the entrance, where he would ponder this further for every night to come.

---Amaterasu 3F---

Amaterasu turned around, and saw that Issun was still with her.

"You didn't think I'd let you go alone, did you?" Issun asked. "Come on we can get through this!":

The only enemies on the floor appeared to be Blue Imps. They flew about the stage using kites, and caused trouble for Amaterasu and her new partner.; Amaterasu used her power slash technique to take down as many as she could, running around the maze looking for the stairs. After a while, she finally found the stairs to the next level. She proceeded up them, with Issun hanging on tight.

---Meta Knight, 2F---

"Keep pushing it!" Meta Knight said as he and his remaining three Knights battled against the last of the thousand of evil warrior. It was a large Turtle-like beast; ancient and wise with a gray mustache and beard trailing down from its wrinkled face. Meta Knight had managed to push it to a cliff at the far end of Green Greens. As he struck at it over and over, his blows were deflected by its thick shell.

The tortoise spun around, knocking Meta Knight and his men back. "Charge it! Push!"

Meta Knight ran right at the tortoise who roared a deathly turtle roar at him. Instead of stabbing the turtle, however, Meta Knight stunned it with his cape, giving his men the opening to ram into the ancient beast and push it over the cliff.

The beast howled as he plummeted into the jagged rocks below. Meta Knight's men cheered, but the wielder of Galaxia himself stayed silent. He turned from the cliff and walked away slowly into the field of a thousand corpses, and was teleported away instantly.

---Amaterasu 4F---

The fourth floor was very dark. Only Amatearsu's white fur could be seen throughout the whole floor. It was also very dark. And very familiar. She began walking towards the center of the room. She wasn't sure what she would find there -- but she was prepared for anything. But then, something strange happened. She heard Yukiko's voice.

"Time's up, Amaterasu!" she said. "The dark hour is about over. I'm going to transport you back to the 1st floor.

---First Floor--

Back on the first floor, Rise gave Luigi a hug, and congratulated him on his victory. Meta-knight didn't seem so happy, and neither did Shadow. Yukiko came over towards Amaterasu and Issun, and patted her on the head. "You didn't get to the barrier, but you still advance!" Yukiko said.

Whatever was on the fourth floor... would have to wait until the next round.

~*Post Match*~

"You did the right thing, but you also did the stupid thing," Simon told Meta Knight as they sat in the common room sipping tea. "How the hell did you beat that many guys?"

"I don't know, but they should ban me from these tournaments. I'm way overpowered."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing," Meta Knight finished as he sipped his tea.


	10. Not for Honor

**Not for honor**

The Boss sized up her competition. Sandal, the mentally challenged dwarf would pose no challenge to her. He seemed to only be able to say a few select words. Nor would Chell and her Weighted Companion Cube. It was ridiculous carrying an inanimate object around, and considering it your 'best friend'. Of the three, she figured that Drake would cause the most trouble for her. But he seemed like the ladies man who'd run and hide when it came to real danger. But maybe she was wrong -- she wasn't about to underestimate him. Or any of the others for that matter.

"Squee! Senpai! I'm so glad to be your support!" The Boss could hear Rise tell Nathan Drake.

"Ridiculous." The Boss thought. Her own support at least seemed competent. Mitsuru Kirijo arguably seemed the most competent of the group of supports. Though The Boss thought that she was a little too much of a businesswoman.

The four contestants walked up to the second floor of the tower, prepared for whatever the tower might throw at them the best they could be.

---The Boss, 2F---

Tselinoyarsk. On the banks of the river, is where The Boss found herself. A place that she had been many times. A place she wasn't sure she wanted to see again. And in front of her, was a man very familiar to her -- her lover, The Sorrow.

"Are you here to test me?" The Boss asked. Her son Ocelot had been tested by the tower in a similar way. "Do I have to pass your test to proceed?"

"No." came a voice from behind her. It was Major Zero. "To proceed, you'll have to kill The Sorrow."

"Again?" she thought. Over the years, she had been asked to do a lot for her country. To win the war for them. To give up her child for them. To die for them. To kill her lover for them. And now she was being asked to do it again. The pull a bullet through her lovers head. To relive one of the worst moments in her life.

"Do it, and you may proceed Boss."

"Why?" she thought to herself. She knew that the tower would torture her. But not like this.

She looked into her lovers eyes. He was smiling. The irony in it all. He was called The Sorrow, but here he was smiling. And here she, The Joy, was crying. Tear drops rolled down her cheeks, as she raised her gun in the air. His smile grew wider, as if to say "It's okay." As if to say... "Make it quick." Her finger trembled as it made contact with the trigger. She aimed it at his head, closed her eyes.... and pulled the trigger.

The sorrow's body lie on the ground. Lifeless. Still with the smile he had on it.

"Congratulations. You may move on to the next level." Major Zero told her.

The stairs appeared behind the river. The Boss walked towards them, without looking back. "I'm sorry..." she whispered to herself, as she advanced to the next floor.

---Nathan Drake, 2F---

As Nathan Drake crept up the stairs to the second floor cautiously, he wondered to himself what life-threatening situations Tartarus could throw at him. He pictured dragons with beefy arms, ancient giant turtles, and psychopaths with chainsaws for arms all ending his life swiftly and painfully. Drake finally reached the landing, with tension reaching so high that he made a large, audible gulp as soon as he set foot into a large, empty room that stretched into the darkness as far as Drake could make out.

He was told he was going to have Rise as his support, but in order to impress her, he told her to sit this one out, as he was a "real man, one that didn't need support for anything." He was beginning to regret his choice as he would have liked some insight on what the hell was waiting for him.

The treasure hunter raised his gun and turned on the light that was strapped to his chest. He circled around as he slowly paced through the dark room. The staircase he came from disappeared, and a door of pure light opened up a few feet away.

"Some challenge…" Drake said to himself, "If this was one of the levels of hell I'd say it was Sloth. Just lazy…"

He holstered his pistol and walked to the door. Suddenly, without warning, the lights snapped on and Drake was blinded. As his eyes adjusted and the blurriness faded, Drake found himself surrounded by beautiful women all sitting on piles of gold.

"…Whoa. I take it back. This wouldn't be Sloth, it'd be Lust."

---Chell, 2F---

Chell and Weighted Companion Cube found themselves in a room that only had a computer, and GLaDOS.

"You mUst listEn to me." GLaDOS said. "YoU seE that buTton theRe? The OnE that sayS 'To Floor 3'? Do NoT push iT."

The button GLaDOS was talking about was a big red button that was clearly labeled. Chell wasn't sure what she should do.

"What do you think cube?"

Chell approached the button, thinking about pushing it. GLaDOS was lying to her.

"Just igNore the ButtoN. You do nOt neeD to pusH it."

"I think she's lying, Cube." Chell said.

"Now woUld I liE to yoU?" GLaDOS asked. "In this toWer I meaN."

Chell placed her hand over the red button, ready to push it.

"I woulDn't do that if I werE you."

It had to be a trick, didn't it? She just had to push the button to go to the next floor. It made sense. It's what the button said. The button wouldn't lie. But GLaDOS would. The cake, she remembered. The cake is a lie. And this had to be too. Didn't it?

"Oh plEase are you so Pathetic that you thiNk I would Take timE to liE abouT someThing like tHis? You are Not ThaT impOrtant to me. Hahaha."

Chell turned her back on the button, trying to ignore it and GLaDOS. Then the unexpected happen.

"Oh alRight you maY go To the Next levEl." GLaDOS said. "You areN't even that Fun to pLay with anymOre."

The stairs appeared on the other side of the room. Chell and Weighted Companion Cube went up the stairs, both hoping that GLaDOS would have nothing to do with the third floor.

---Sandal, 2F---

"Sandal, try not to say 'Enchantment' on this floor, OK?" Fuuka said softly to Sandal.

"Hello!" Sandal cried out to the voice in the darkness.

"I guess you're okay if there's nobody around that needs an enchantment…" Fuuka said to herself. Sandal continued to wander aimlessly in the darkness.

"Hi, Tartarus here," came a booming voice. "I'd like an enchantment."

"Sandal, no!" Fuuka cried.

"Enchantment?" Sandal asked Tartarus.

"Bwahahaha! That was too easy!" Tartarus chortled, "Yeah, okay, out of pity I'll let him go to the second floor. This is too good."

With that, a door of light pierced through the darkness. A sword with an empty enchantment slot was dangled before it.

"Enchantment!" Sandal cried as he ran to the sword. As he ran towards it, however, it was yanked into nothingness and Sandal ran right by it and into the door.

"Well… It could be worse." Fuuka said to herself. Suddenly, it started to rain over her head.

"Hahaha, I crack me up sometimes," Tartarus laughed to himself.

---The Boss, 3F---

The third floor was a maze filled with German Soldiers from the World War II era. They were all armed with the latest weapons. Automatic machine guns. But they seemed, for the moment, unaware of The Boss's presence.

She snuck around the corner, eying the first one. When he had his head turned the other way, she ran up to him, and grabbed his neck and snapped it. One down. A few more to go. She moved quickly, but silently across the floor. She grabbed the next one, her hand over his mouth to keep him from screaming. She twisted his arm in ways he thought wasn't possible. She then kicked him to the floor, and smashed his face with her foot. She then got on the ground, and snapped his neck as well.

The next set of enemies were patrolling the area. There weren't enough to distract her. She ran past all of them, sneaking behind them without them hearing her footsteps as she passed them. Once she was past them all, she turned around, and began firing her patriot at all of them. She killed all three of them instantly, she then aimed her gun to the right, where more troops were coming from, firing at all of them without having a single shot fired at her. She then ran down the next path, and fired her weapon quickly, killing all of them instantly with total precision.

Soon all that laid in her path were the bodies of her enemies. And she hadn't even taken a single scratch. She put her Patriot away, and calmly walked up the stairs. Maybe something on the next floor would challenge her.

---Nathan Drake, 2F---

Drake sat with the beautiful blonde and brunette as a redhead gave him a message and another blonde fed him grapes. They were all ten-out-of-ten supermodels, all decked out in the skimpiest bikinis one could imagine. He glanced over at the door several feet away and figured that he had taken too much time to relax and should move on, but as he got up he was stopped by the beautiful blonde woman who was feeding him grapes.

"Don't leave!" she said with a seductive look, "We're having so much fun! Just a few more minutes, Drake. We could have such a good time together…"

~Nathan Drake, Second Floor~

"You said a few more minutes ten minutes ago!" Drake said as he yanked his arm out from the redhead's grip. "Something tells me this is more than some Tartarus Day Spa!"

"Nooo! Drake! Don't go!"

"Can it, lady! If you really are a lady…"

With that, Drake strode to the next floor, much to the lamentations of the beautiful bikini models he left behind him.

---Chell, 3F---

The third floor looked simple to Chell and Cube. There was an obstacle between the two, and they couldn't jump over it. The solution was simple. Chell pulled out the Portal gun, and shot it at the ceiling. She then shot it at the floor.

"Easy, right Cube?" she said, with a smile on her face.

She jumped through the portal, with cube in hand. She then came out of the portal on the ceiling, and shifted her momentum towards the obstacle, so she'd land on top of it. The two then ran towards the stairs, and went up them.

---Sandal, 3F---

Enchantment?" Sandal asked the Darkspawn warrior that towered over him.

The vile warrior simply scowled at the gnome as he raised his sword.

"Enchantment!" Sandal cried.

---The Boss, 4F---

The fourth floor looked like a hangar, to The Boss. And the only thing in it, was what appeared to be a giant tank on legs.

"Be careful!" Mitsuru said over the intercom. "That's a Metal Gear!"

"Metal Gear?!" The Boss asked. "So this is what Solid Snake was facing... Alright, I can do this."

The Boss walked calmly over to the Stinger Missile Launcher that was, and picked it up. "Let's do this!" she said.

The Metal Gear shot missiles at her, and she jumped over them as if they were nothing. She then knelt to the floor, and fired a missile at the Metal Gear. It was a direct hit, but the thing wasn't going down.

"I guess I'd have been disappointed if it went down in one shot." she said.

Metal Gear began firing at her, this time she wasn't able to dodge them. She took a direct hit. It stung a bit. But she kept a smile on her face. She knelt again, and fired another missile. Another direct hit. This wasn't so hard....

Then Metal Gear launched some homing missiles at her. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't get rid of them. She took a direct hit this time, and could feel the full force of it.

"Use a Chaff grenade!" Mitsuru called.

Of course! She threw the chaff grenade. The homing system wouldn't work now. She fired another stinger missile at it, and it was another direct hit. But now Metal Gear was walking right towards her! She knew that if it stepped on her, she'd be dead.

The Boss ran around in circles, trying to stay away from Metal Gear Rex's foot. She wasn't able to fire another missile at it while she was on the run. She made her way to the back, and quickly knelt to shoot another missile at it. She hit it, but it fired a missile in turn. She rolled to dodge it, and it barely missed her by a foot.

---Nathan Drake, 3F---

"Alright, Tartarus," Drake yelled as he ascended the stairway to the third floor, "Hit me! I'm ready for more gold and bikini models! Let's see some action!"

Drake closed his eyes as he took the final few steps and came to the third floor. He spread his arms wide open.

"Ladies! I await your…"

Drake opened his eyes not to find women, but the complete opposite. A green dragon with a beefy arm coming out of its back, a giant old turtle and a man drenched in blood with a chainsaw for a hand awaited him.

"Oh, uh… Heh heh. You guys aren't supermodels in bikinis."

The man with a chainsaw for a hand reached back and withdrew his twelve-gauge, double-barreled Remington shotgun. "Well, hello, Mister Fancypants," he began, "I've got news for you, pal, you ain't winnin' but two things: Jack and ****... and Jack just left town."

---Chell, 4F---

The fourth floor was a lot more complicated than the third. In front of her was a raised platform, and above the ceiling portals would not stick. Beyond that Chell couldn't see what was in front of her. She sat her faithful Weighted Companion Cube down, and started to think. Then, she realized what she had to do. She shot at the ceiling, and then at the floor.

By jumping through the portal, she created an infinite loop, in which she was gaining momentum. When she had enough, as she fell, she shot another portal at the ground, so that when she jumped into the portal at the bottom, she'd come flying out of the portal she had just shot. And just like that, she had reached the top of the platform.

She jumped off the platform, and then was in front of another platform. This one shorter. She shot one at the platform she just came off of, and then at the floor. She jumped in a few times, before being shot out of the portal on the wall, and was pushed onto the platform with the stairs. But when she tried going up them, she wasn't able to proceed.

"You cannOt proceed without youR weighted comPanion cuBe afteralL it is yoUr onLy friend in this WorLd." GLaDOS said. "BesiDes do You think that yOu wouLd be in this coMpetition weRe it noT for CuBe?"

Chell couldn't believe that she had left Cube behind. She had to go back for it... but how?

---The Boss, 4F---

The Boss fired off another stinger missile, another direct hit, and Metal Gear Rex had taken some major damage. But it wasn't quite done for -- it was ready for another round. Rex got up, and began shooting at The Boss, hitting her and knocking her back. The Boss barely shook it off. It had just pissed her off.

She ran right at Metal Gear Ray, and climbed up it. It tried to shake her off, but she held on. She finally got on top of it, and fired a stinger missile directly at the cockpit. She then began smashing her foot against Ray, trying to take it down as it tried to shake her off.

"Why won't it DIE!" she said.

It continued shaking, more violently than before. Before it could shake her off, The Boss leaped off, and turned around. She knelt again, and fired another stinger missile. This time Ray exploded. The Boss had won.

"Not bad..." she said to herself.

The stairs appeared where Ray once stood. She walked up them, ready for the next floor.

---Chell, 4F---

No matter how many infinite loops she created, she couldn't make her way back to the beginning. She had wasted a lot of time trying to get back to Weighted Companion Cube. She started to cry.

"There's no SenSe cryiNg over evEry mistaKe." GLaDOS said. "Even thOugh you brOke my Heart and killed mE, I wilL heLp yoU."

"Help me?" Chell asked.

"I'll take You baCk to the begiNning."

WIth that, Chell was transported back to the beginning.

---The Boss, 5F---

"The Barrier." The Boss said to herself. "Looks like I made it."

With that, Mitsuru transported her back to the first floor.

---Nathan Drake, 3F---

"I take it back!" Nathan yelled as he ducked behind cover to avoid being burninated by the dragon, "You're all just as beautiful as supermodels, if not more!" He ran with his head down to the nearest pillar for cover, but bumped into a large hunk of manly man meat on his way there.

"First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me," the chainsaw-handed man said to Drake as he put the shotgun to his head, "Blow."

Thinking quickly, Drake punched the man in the happy fruit, then grabbed the shotgun and shoved it towards the ceiling. The man fired off several shots, and Drake was able to take his momentary disorientation to his advantage.

Nathan grabbed the shotgun out of the man's remaining good hand and hit him on the side of the head with it, knocking him out cold. He raised the Remington up and fired wildly at the turtle, hoping to dent its ancient shell armor. But it was no use. Drake once again dove to cover to avoid the dragon's fatal flame.

However, Drake couldn't outrun the two massive beasts for long, as they came around opposite ends of Drake's cover to corner him. Drake fired again with the shotgun, but again all of his attempts to do anything failed. The dragon reared its head back and its mouth began to brim with flames.

"I guess this is it…" Drake said to himself as he backed up, preparing himself to become a light afternoon snack for the beefy-armed dragon, "My only regret is not spending more time with the babes on the second floor!"

The dragon launched his fiery fatality as Drake screamed and knelt down to cower in fear. However, Drake vanished at the last second, and the only thing that was burnt to a crisp was the giant turtle, who was too big and too slow to move out of the way in time.

---Chell 4F---

Chell grabbed her Weighted Companion Cube, and started the infinite loop back up. With Cube in hand, she continued the puzzle as she had her first time through. Jumping through portals to gain momentum, and making her way back to the stairs. This time the stairs allowed her to proceed, and she was on her way to the fifth floor.

---Sandal, 4F---

"Oh No! the monitor is wet!" Fuuka yelled as she tried to dry off her only means of communicating with and viewing Sandal. "Wait, is he on the fourth floor? How? Are those bodies on the third floor?"

"Enchantment!" Sandal said as Morrigan slapped him over and over.

"Stop saying that, you wretched thing!" the witch yelled as she held the gnome by the collar and slapped him again, "I don't know why you got into this tournament over me!"

Morrigan continued to slap Sandal over and over. The gnome seemed to have little problem with it. Perhaps in a few hours he would begin feeling the pain…

---Chell, 5F---

"We made it cube! We made it!" Chell shouted in excitement.

"Congratulations!" Teddie said. "Good job! Now I'll teleport you out of there!"

~*Post Match*~

"And then I appeared in the foyer, screaming," Drake continued to tell Sub-Zero, who he had made good friends with over the past few days, as they sipped some tea, "and then Rise laughed at me. I don't think I've ever been so ashamed. Well, maybe I was a bit more ashamed after she turned me down to go get a drink. Sigh…"

"You know she's like 16 or something, dude," Sub-Zero said.

"No ****?" Drake said as he sipped his tea. "But she has such… such huge…"

"…Icebergs?" Sub-Zero finished for him.

"I was going for 'tracks of land,' but I guess I shouldn't expect any less from the King of Ice Puns." Drake said with a laugh.

"Hail to the King, baby," Sub-Zero finished as he sipped tea through his mask.


	11. Dark

**Dark**

All of the supports except for Rise were a bit nervous.

Fuuka had to support Jessie, James, and Mewtwo. Mewtwo didn't seem so bad. For a cat-person, thing. But Jessie and James were always in the castle trying to kidnap Pikachu, and barring that, they were trying to kidnap Kirby. They were unsavory people, and it made Fuuka a bit nervous to have to support them.

Mitsuru on the other hand would be supporting Wesker. He was dangerous in his own right. Even though she had been the one to recruit him to the contest, she was still a bit wary of him, and with good reason.

And then there was Teddie. Who had to support Ganondorf. King of Evil. "King! Ohh! Ohh!" Teddie had mistakenly said to Ganondorf when he was introducing himself. "Do you get all the girls to smooch you! Teddie wants to be King! King's game is fun!" He then promptly was knocked out by Ganondorf. Teddie was hating his job quickly.

But Rise... she got Ken. Luck of the draw. They had all pulled straws -- and Rise got the red one. Teddie had thought they were playing King's game then as well, and things didn't turn out so well when Rise tricked him into kissing Mitsuru. Mitsuru was none too pleased either.

But their job now was to support these villains. The four entered the tower, as the supports nervously watched.

---Ganondorf, 2F---

Ganondorf found himself in the place that he coveted to be more than any other - the sacred realm. Had Tartarus provided him with a way to get the Triforce? A smile slowly curled onto his lips. There it stood before him. The legendary Triforce. It was said that he who touched it, would be granted their hearts greatest desire.

"Do not touch the triforce, Ganondorf." A voice came from nowhere. "For if you do, you will be stuck here FOREVER."

Ganondorf laughed. It was here. Right in front of him. No Link. No Zelda. Just him and the Triforce. At last... he could bring Darkness to the entire UNIVERSE! It was all he had coveted for as long as he remembered.

The Triforce was shining brightly. It called out to him. Ganondorf walked over to it. He had been this close before. But never like this. Never in a million years. Would this finally be his chance? He walked up to it, and placed his hand on it. "TRIFORCE! GRANT ME THIS WISH! BRING THIS WORLD TO DARKNESS!"

With that Tartarus began to shake and rumble. Everything began going dark. Ganondorf laughed madly. Had he gotten his wish? Had he brought darkness to the entire universe?

"Wish.... DENIED."

---Ken, 2F---

"No! Not that, anything but that!" Ken screamed.

"If you want to proceed..." M. Bison said. "You'll have to STAR IN MY SOAP OPERA! The Young and the Shirtless"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ken shouted. Tartarus had known one of Ken's most hated things was Soap Operas. But how?!

"Alright, your part is Dr. Ken Masters. You are living in the year 2010."

"And I've developed some kind of Cytoplasm that grants superhuman strength to any living organism?" Ken asked.

"No, that's lame." Bison said. "You are Dr. Ken Masters, and you are in love with the reporter Chun Li. But Chun Li is in love with your best friend, Ryu. Ryu on the other hand has feelings for Cammy, but Cammy is in love with you. In this scene, Chun Li is waking up from a coma, and now has amnesia. Ryu was going to tell her he was in love with Cammy, but didn't get the chance before the evil E. Honda kidnapped her. He killed her twin sister, Sun Li. But Chun Li that's in the hospital is really Sun Li. E. Honda still has Chun Li captive. Sun Li however was in love with you as well."

"Uhh..."

"JUST READ THE DAMN SCRIPT!" Bison shouted. "And take that shirt off. Now ACTION!"

"Chun Li... I'm afraid to tell you -- you have... AMNESIA!" Ken said in the most melodramatic voice possible.

"No! Doctor! Please say it's not so!"

"Honey..." Ryu said. "It's going to be okay. We'll stick together."

"Are you.. my husband?" Sun Li, who thought she was Chun Li said.

"Yes. And I'll always be by your side -- no matter what."

Cammy walked into the room.

"I'm sorry to interrupt. The funeral services for Sun Li... they're going to be tomorrow."

"Alright. I'm sorry Chun... but your sister is --dead."

"I didn't even know I had a sister!" the girl thinking she was Chun Li said.

ELSEWHERE...

"Mwahaha, Now Chun Li is all mine!"

"You'll never get away with this, E. Honda!" Chun Li shouted.

"And who's going to stop me! They all think you're dead!"

BACK AT THE HOSPITAL.

"Come on, we have to go prepare Sun Li's funeral arrangements." Cammy said to Ryu.

Ryu and Cammy left the hospital room.

"Why... do I have these strong feelings for you, Doctor?" Chun Li said. "It must be because you saved my life!"

"Yes, that must be it, Chun Li!" Ken said again melodramatically. "If only I could tell her my feelings! I love you Chun Li!"

AT THE FUNERAL PARLOR

"She looks so much like her twin sister!" Ryu said.

"HELP!" shouted Dan Hibiki, running in. "There's a fire, and Sakura is trapped! We have to go save her!"

"Right!" said Ryu, as he stripped off his shirt.

"Yes Yes!" said Hibiki, who also took off his shirt.

The two then ran into a burning building, and brought Sakura out. As they were carrying her out, she gave Ryu a kiss. "oh no... what if Chun li or Cammy find out?" Ryu said.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone!" Sakura said.

"Nor I!" said Hibiki.

BACK AT THE HOSPITAL

"The blood test is back..." said Ken. "You aren't Chun Li. She had a different blood type. It looks like you're really SUN LI! Oh my god! What will I tell Ryu?!"

BACK AT THE FUNERAL PARLOR

Guile comes in, shirtless.

"Hey guys, I'm done digging Sun Li's grave."

"Thanks, Guile!" Ryu said.

BACK AT THE HOSPITAL

"Hello... DOCTOR!" said an ominous voice.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Ken said.

The ominious person laughed. "If you tell Ryu about this being Sun LI... I'll tell them all about your affair with Karin Kanzuki!"

"No! Not that!" Ken shouted in horror.

"WHAT WILL HAPPEN ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE YOUNG AND THE SHIRTLESS? WILL KEN TELL RYU THAT CHUN LI IS REALLY SUN LI? WILL THE OMINOUS PERSON REVEAL THAT KEN SLEPT WITH KARIN KANZUKI?! WILL SAKURA KISS AND TELL? WILL THIS ANNOUNCEMENT EVER END?! and that's a wrap." M. Bison said. "Alright, you can go to the next floor."

"Finally..." Ken said, putting his shirt back on and running up the stairs while Dan HIbiki and Sakura sung Jane French's Breathe.

---Wesker, 2F---

On the second floor, Wesker was in what appeared to be laboratory. He could hear voices coming from the vents.

"Patient Zero has reacted positively to the virus. We're now proceeding to stage three."

"We're ready to proceed to stage one with Patient One Zero One. With this.. our tests will be complete. The d-Alice Virus is perfect."

"In the wrong hands... this virus could wipe out an entire army."

"Security here is too tight, I wouldn't worry about anyone getting in."

"Good. This Virus makes the t-Virus look like the measles."

Wesker smiled. Tartarus hadn't taken him to hell as he had expected it would. Instead... it had given him exactly what he had been looking for. This variant of the virus, the d-Alice. It would give him exactly what he was looking for.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

The two men left the room, and Wesker followed the wall around to the other side. He grabbed the knob on the door -- it wasn't even locked. Wesker walked in, and saw the data sheet on the virus. He grabbed it in his hands. He looked over it. "Perfect..."

"Shred it." A voice said.

Wesker laughed. Why would he shred it?

"If you want to proceed... you must shred it!"

Wesker didn't care about proceeding though. He didn't need to win this competition. What he needed was right there in his hands. His smile widened. "Umbrella...." he said. "will be very happy with this.'

---Mewtwo, 2F---

Jessie, James, and Mewtwo found themselves at a place that -- at the very least Jessie and James, never expected themselves to be. Indigo Plateau.

"Is that...?" Jessie asked.

"Lance of the Elite four?!"

"LET'S TAKE HIS DRAGONAIR!" Jessie shouted.

"Imbeciles..." Mewtwo said to himself. "We're not here to steal Pokemon. We're here to get to the top of this tower."

Jessie and James both sighed. This was a golden opportunity to prove themselves to the boss. But they'd have to pass it up. Without Mewtwo, they stood no chance of stealing Lance's Dragonair.

"Welcome, Trainers." Lance said.

"Are we..." Jessie asked.

"Going to have to fight you?" James finished.

Lance shook his head. "Mewtwo would likely be more than a match for me. Though with you two at the commands, I'm sure that I could easily win. However, I'm not here to fight. Rather, I'm here to convey a message from Tartarus."

Jessie and James both let out a sigh of relief. Battling the Elite 4's leader, Lance was not among their top ten things they want to do list. Nor was it on their top thousand, or ten thousand for that matter.

"Mewtwo. There is but one rule in Tartarus -- you must obey Jessie and James's commands. Else, you will fail."

Mewtwo grunted. "Is that all then?"

Lance nodded. "You may proceed to the third floor..."

With that, the three continued up to the next floor.

---Ganondorf, 2F---

The room was pitch dark. Ganondorf couldn't see anything. It seemed as if by disobeying the rules, he was indeed stuck on the second floor.

"ARGGGGH!" Ganondorf yelled. "TRICKED!" He couldn't believe it. His eyes became blood shot, as anger filled him. Failure. Again. It wasn't tolerable. Not from him. From his minions he expected failure. But he -- the King of the Gerudo. The King of Evil! He could not fail like this.

"LET ME THROUGH!" He demanded. But Tartarus would not yield.

Ganondorf walked around the darkness, looking for a way to the next floor. But he could not find one. Eventually he ran into a wall. "LET ME THROUGH!" he demanded once more. But again Tartarus did not yield.

And so Ganondorf struck the walls with his fist. Striking it again, and again. Hitting it harder, and harder. The more he beat on Tartarus, the more his fists felt pain. He beat through the wall, making it start to crumble. With the force of a hurricane, he punched the wall again and again, until there was a hole where the wall once stood. Behind the wall, were the stairs he was looking for. He blew the rubble aside, and proceeded up them. Despite having failed his test, Ganondorf found a way to get through.

---Mewtwo, 3F---

On the third floor, all the stood between Mewtwo and the next floor, was a number of Pokemon. It was literally littered with Murkrow, Houdoom, and Weaviles. All Dark Pokemon.

"This could be... difficult." Mewtwo said.

"Let us handle this!" Jessie said.

"Yeah, we can handle it!"

"Very well..." Mewtwo said, remembering Lance's words.

"Weezing go!" James shouted, sending out his Weezing.

"Arbok!" Jessie called out, sending out her Arbok as well. "Screech now!" She demanded.

Arbok let out a deafening screech that pierced through the walls of Tartarus. The enemies were momentarily confused. "Smog attack, now Weezing!" James called out, covering the entire floor with smog. "NOW LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" James screamed.

The three ran down the floors, avoiding the Dark Types wherever they went. Knowing that Mewtwo would need to conserve his strength for the next floor. They ran as fast as they could through the smog, looking for the stairs. Finally they found them, and proceeded up to the fourth floor.

---Ken, 3F---

The third floor was much more Ken's style. Filled with Bison's guards, and nothing but walls. Ken made his way around the first corner, where two guards tried to double team him. He did a spin kick, knocking both of them out instantly. But before he knew it, five more guards were on their way to deal with him. With a quick hurricane kick, he knocked all of them down. But they all got back up, and rushed him again. With another hurricane kick, he knocked them down again, and this time they were out for the count.

Ken continued moving his way through the guards, dancing on the walls, and breaking their necks with his legs.

"Sorry to beat you up so bad. Should have known you wouldn´t put up a fight..." he said, as he passed the next row.

---Wesker, 2F---

Wesker took his time looking over the data. There were some unexpected surprises. But nothing that stood out. To Wesker, this was the most beautiful thing in the world.

As he looked over the data, he could hear a faint moaning coming from beyond the doors. He ignored it. It didn't concern him. He grabbed some materials in the lab, and began working on a sample of the virus -- just to see if it would work. The moaning got louder as he worked. Soon there was a banging on the door. But still Wesker ignored it. He had work to be done. Just a little longer, and he'd have a perfect sample. And all without having to work under the watchful eye of Jill Valentine, Leon Kennedy, and Chris Redfield.

Soon the door burst down. Zombies started swarming the room. "Get me out of here, Mitsuru." Wesker said.

"I'm sorry, I can't. Something's blocking my ability." Mitsuru told him.

"Dammit." Wesker said to himself. The Zombies began entering the room. He took out his shotgun, and began shooting at them. Bang. Bang. Bang.

But they were too resilient. It was clearly the work of the d-Alice virus. Wesker began wondering just who Alice was. He continued shooting at the Zombies. Reloading as fast as humanly possible. They clearly lived up to their name.

Wesker could hear laughter coming from somewhere. It got louder as the Zombies came closer. And closer. And closer. And before long, a pale girl with blonde hair, in a blue dress walked into the room.

"Hi." the girl said.

"Who are you?" Wesker asked.

"I'm Alice. And I wanna play."

"Play?" Wesker asked.

"Yes. Please. Won't you play?"

"What do you want me to do?" Wesker asked.

"DIE FOR ME!" she screamed, as Zombies began swarming him faster. The girl's laughter got louder, as Zombies began attacking him.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Wesker screamed.

"Shred the document..." a voice called.

It looked like Wesker wouldn't have any choice. He'd have to shred the document if he wanted to live. Tartarus had only tempted him with his greatest desire, to lead him into a trap. Lulling him into a false sense of security.

Wesker looked around for the shredder, and tossed the documents in there. As soon as they were done shredding, the stairs appeared just behind Alice. The creepy smile was still on her face. "Won't you play with me? Nobody wants to play!"

Wesker pushed the Zombies aside, and shot off at Alice. But she was protected by a force field of some kind. But it was enough to at least distract her, so that he could get by. He ran towards the stairs, as he heard Alice proclaim "You're no fun!"

---Ganondorf, 3F---

The third floor was a lot simpler than a test of wills. All that stood between Ganondorf and the next floor were some walls, and a couple of Gorons. They all valiantly stood up to fight him. He laughed as they all came at him, trying to hurt him.

He threw the first one back with nothing but his first. The next one, he sliced off his head with a sword. The foolish rock creatures wouldn't stand down against him. They continued trying to impede him. He left a trail of bodies in his wake. Ganondorf pushed forward, swatting them all like they were flies.

Soon, only one was left -- and it was cowering in fear. Finally, they would show Ganondorf some respect. But it was too late. He had already slaughtered all of the Goron's brothers. Now he would slaughter him as well -- a quick slice of a sword, and the Goron's head fell off. Ganondorf laughed to himself. He then walked up the stairs to the fourth floor...

---Mewtwo, 4F---

"Who's there?" a voice called out in the middle of the very dark room.

"Prepare for trouble!"  
"And make it double!"  
"To protect the world from devastation!"  
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"  
"To denounce the evils of Truth and love!"  
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"  
"Jessie!"  
"James!"  
"Team Rocket Blast off at the speed of light!"  
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"  
"Mewtwo. That's right. Oh god that was so embarrassing."

"Oh... it's you imbeciles." the voice said.

Jessie and James both gulped, as the light turned on to reveal...

"IT'S THE BOSS!" Jessie and James both shouted at once.

"Do you two really think, even with a legendary Pokemon like Mewtwo that you could defeat the likes of me?" Giovanni asked. "Don't make me laugh!"

"Relax, I can handle this." Mewtwo said.

Giovanni laughed. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. So the Pokemon are going to control the trainer? That's a new one. But with fools like these, i"m not surprised."

"We're not fools!" Jessie shouted. "WE WILL BEAT YOU!... if you don't mind that is ehehehe"

"As if you could." Giovanni said. "Let's begin! Kangaskhan Go!"

"Psychic, now Mewtwo!" Jessie shouted.

Mewtwo psychically lifted Kangaskhan off the ground, and tossed it towards the back wall. It was sent flying at super fast speeds, and the force from the impact knocked it out.

"We're winning! We're winning!" James shouted.

"Of course we are. Don't underestimate us!" Jessie said. "So what's next?"

Giovanni grabbed his next poke ball. "That was just a warm up. Go Dugtrio! USE DIG!"

Dugtrio went underground, ready to avoid Mewtwo's attack.

"Amnesia, Mewtwo!"

Mewtwo focused his power. Dugtrio finished his move, and knocked Mewtwo up in the air. "PSYCHIC NOW!" Jessie shouted, and Mewtwo sent Dugtrio also flying back towards the wall. Knocking it out in a single hit.

"I'm not done yet!" Giovanni said... "Nidoking! POISON STING!"

"Dodge it Mewtwo!" James shouted. Mewtwo swiftly made the poison sting drop to the floor. "Now hit it back with Psychic!"

Nidoking too was no match for Mewtwo. It swiftly knocked back Giovanni's Nidoking.

"Three left..." Giovanni said. "Time for my secret weapon! BIDOOF GO!"

"You... have..." Jessie said.

"A Bidoof?" James finished.

Giovanni laughed. "Everyone needs an HM Slave. NOW GO BIDOOF!"

"Mewtwo, wipe that stupid look off that stupid Beavers face!"

Mewtwo did just that, knocking it back to the wall immediately, and knocking it out faster than a Jolteon.

"Rhyhorn...!" Giovanni said, sending out his fifth Pokemon

"AIM FOR THE HORN MEWTWO!" James shouted, and like that Mewtwo bent Rhyhorn's horn, and twisted it off knocking the Pokemon out immediately. Leaving only one of Giovanni's Pokemon left.

"Guess it's time to be serious guys. It's been nice playing with you. But this ends now!"

Giovanni then sent out his last Pokemon..

"That's..."  
"MOLTRES!" Jessie and James said in Unison.

---Ken, 3F---

More of Bison's troops were on their way, all trained in martial arts. But none were any match for Ken. There seemed to be more and more of them, as ten appeared ahead of him. He kicked and punched as many of them as he could.; His hurricane kick couldn't knock them all down, before they started hitting him back. He had to duck, dodge, and roll out of the way of their attacks.

This floor was giving him more trouble than he had expected. The ten soon turned to fifteen. Then twenty. Ken knocked out two with a hurricane kick, and then three more when he grabbed two of them, and knocked their heads against a third guy.

"Alright now, everyone, ALL IN A ROW!" he shouted.

---Wesker, 3F---

More Zombies waited for Wesker on the third floor. But these were normal variant Zombies. Not like the ones on the second floor. Wesker pulled out his shotgun, and started shooting at their heads. BANG. One down. BANG. Two down. Wesker continued walking down the path, looking for the stairs. BANG. A third one down. BANG. A fourth. These were pathetic. These were why Umbrella had failed in the past.

The Zombies barely impeded on Wesker's progress, as he blew each of their heads off with ease. The shotgun was truly a formidable weapon. He had wasted a lot of time on the second floor. He had some catching up to do -- but he could do it.

BANG. A twelfth one down. Then he saw it -- the stairs. Up to the fourth floor. He climbed the steps, without turning back. He may not have gotten the data on the d-Alice virus. But he was damn well going to make sure he made it into the next round. He wanted to see Alice again. And he felt that if he returned to Tartarus for the next round, she'd be waiting for him.

---Mewtwo, 4F---

"Mewtwo, Amnesia!" Jessie called out.

"No!" Mewtwo shouted. "I have to take it out now!"

"USE AMNESIA YOU STUPID POKEMON!" Jessie yelled out.

Mewtwo ignored her. Moltres was another legendary. With it's speed, it could get two hits on him, and do some serious damage. He had to attack it. Mewtwo slung it across the room, and dealt some serious damage. In fact-- it was enough to knock Moltres out. But just barely.

"WE WON!" Jessie and James started singing. "WE BEAT THE BOSS! WE BEAT THE BOSS!"

"Ah-ah-ah!" Giovanni said. "Mewtwo failed to obey it's trainer. Thus... you're going back to the second floor!"

And so Team Rocket and Mewtwo were sent flying back to the second floor. "Looks like team rocket's blasting off again!"

----Ganondorf, 4F---

Standing between Ganondorf and the stairs to the fifth floor... were five members of The Resistance. There was Shad, with book and dagger. Telma, a huge imposing woman. The elderly Auru, armed with a canon, and his experience. Rusl, with his sword, and Ashei with her bow. They were the only five to stand before him.

But through canon blasts, and arrow strikes, Ganondorf inched forward. He knocked down Rusl first with a single blow of his sword. He laughed violently as he struck down Telma next. Then he picked Shad up, and tossed him aside. They were all cakewalk to him. He then destroyed Auru's canon, and then stuck his blade into the old man. He laughed as he looked into Auru's eyes and watched him die. Then all that remained was Ashei.

Ashei tried aiming for Ganondorf's head. Hoping that a good shot would be all it took. But Ganondorf was too quick. He grabbed the arrows she shot, and edged towards her. He then threw her to the ground as well, and then walked up the stairs.

---Ken, 3F---

All of the soldiers lined up, to fight Ken. But he had a different idea -- sending a Hadoken at all of them, knocking the remaining troops out. He then ran up the stairs, hoping he wasn't too far behind. But he was afraid it was too late. He had taken too long on this floor. And that damn soap opera had lasted forever.

---Wesker, 4F---

Waiting for Wesker on the fourth floor, was a foul looking creature known as Nemesis.

"Hmph. This thing is all that stands between me and the fifth floor?"

Wesker then pulled out his grenade launcher, and smiled. He fired it once. But the creature just shrugged it off. Wesker pulled out his shotgun, and fired at it's head. After that, he got it's attention. It began chasing him. He had to find a good hiding spot. He ran, looking back to shoot at it. He missed a couple of times, but managed to hit it once. Still it didn't go down. But he didn't intend for it too -- all he needed was to slow it down.

He got his grenade launcher back out, and fired again. Another hit -- but Nemesis was too resilient to be taken down by a grenade launcher. He then pulled out his flamethrower, and began shooting flames at the beast. But it only seemed to anger it. Nothing was working. How could he take this creature down?

Then he realized -- he wouldn't have to. He just had to knock it out momentarily. That wouldn't be easy to do. He'd have to get close. But how? He had to think, and fast. Time was running out -- and he knew it.

---Ganondorf, 5F---

Ganondorf tried punching the barrier, but it seemed to be impenetrable. Even by Ganondorfs great strength.

"I'll... bring you back." Teddie said. Not sure if he should or not. And Ganondorf was transported back to the first floor.

---Mewtwo, 2F---

"Why does this always happen to us?" Jessie complained.

"It's just not fair! Why couldn't you have just told him to use Psychic!"

"It's not MY fault. It's that dumb Pokemon's."

"We're going to have to go fast, if we're going to want to catch up." Mewtwo said. "Let's go."

And so up they went to the third floor.

---Ken, 4F---

"So who am I going to have to fight this time?" Ken asked.

"ME!" Zangief shouted. "Come!"

"No thanks, Bro!" Ken said. "I don't swing that way!" he said, then did a hurricane kick, knocking Zangief back. "Aww come on, let me through!"

"NO!" Zangief shouted. He then headbutted Ken, knocking him back to the wall. But Ken got back up. Ken kicked and punched Zangief, before being grabbed and thrown back to the wall again.

"That kind of hurt." he said. "You're asking for it now..."

---Wesker, 4F---

Wesker threw a smoke grenade from his pouch towards Nemesis. He had to blind it for a little bit. Just a little longer... and he could get to it.

---Mewtwo, 3F---

Now on the third floor, all that awaited were Machops. There were about twenty of them.

"PSYCHIC!" Jessie shouted. "JUST USE PSYCHIC FROM NOW ON!"

Mewtwo threw all twenty back against the wall, and the three proceeded to the fourth floor.

---Ken, 4F---

Ken got back up, and went back to punching and kicking Zangief. He then threw him back, and did a hurricane kick. He followed up with a low kick. Zangief just got back up though, and used a body slam on Ken. The crushing weight from Zangief was cutting off the oxygen to Ken's brain.

---Wesker, 4F---

Wesker ran up in the middle of the smoke filled room, and pulled out his machete. He then stuck it in Nemesis's Brain. The creature was then rendered incapacitated. At least for the moment. He'd just have to make a run for the stairs.

---Mewtwo, 4F---

"Send your Pokemon out! Now!" Jessie demanded.

"Fine." Giovanni said. "Arceus go."

"THATS NOT FAIR!" James shouted.

Giovanni just laughed.

---Ken, 4F---

"Hey Zangief. Ask me if you can borrow a hammer."

"Why?"

"Just do it, bro."

"Can I borrow Hammer?" Zangief asked.

"SHORYUKEN!" Ken said, as he unleashed his all powerful dragon punch. After that, Zangief was knocked out cold.

"Looks like your still no match for my Dragon Punch, eh?" Ken said to him, as he walked towards the stairs.

---Mewtwo, 4F---

Mewtwo and Arceus were in the middle of an epic duel, fighting for the right to call themselves the most powerful Pokemon of all time. Mewtwo's Psychic type was no match however for Arceus's now Dark Type. Giovanni had clearly planned for this.

---Wesker, 4F---

Wesker ran up the stairs, as fast as he could. As he got to the top step, he could hear Nemesis growling. It started charging at him, and he turned around and fired a grenade round at it. He was almost at the top. All he had to do was a couple of more steps...

---Ken, 4F---

Ken briskly walked up the stairs, as Zangief lay unconscious below. He then proceeded to the fifth floor..

---Mewtwo, 4F---

"I'm sorry, Mewtwo." Fuuka said. "Time is up."

Giovanni laughed. "All I had to do was stall you. Looks like I'm the better trainer, after all. But that was never in doubt."

Jessie and James, as well as Mewtwo were all dejected. They had lost. All because of one failed command.

---Wesker, 4F---

As Wesker stepped up on the last step, Mitsuru informed him that Ken had just reached the fifth floor. It was over. He had done all of this -- for nothing.

---First Floor---

Everyone had been brought back to the first floor. Ken and Ganondorf would be in round two. Mewtwo, and Wesker however wouldn't be.

Mewtwo felt that his pride had caused them to lose. But he also felt Jessie's strategy just wasn't sound. They had a lot of work to do as Pokemon Trainers. And sadly, Mewtwo felt they'd rather spend the rest of their time trying to kidnap Kirby and Pikachu instead of becoming better Trainers. They had a lot of potential -- or at least James did.

Wesker couldn't believe how close he had cut it. Just a step closer... if he had just shredded the documents immediately. He could have advanced. But he was more concerned with the formula for the d-Alice virus. Maybe there was a way he could replicate it though... he'd try in any case.

~*Post Match*~

Ken had arrived back at his room, explaining the happenings to his roommate.

"...and then Ganondorf PUNCHED A HOLE RIGHT IN TARTARUS!"

"I'm pretty good at punching myself." said Captain Falcon. "Maybe I can punch a hole in Tartarus too!"

Ken laughed. He'd like to do it himself after what it had put him through.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "Come in." Ken said.

It was Ryu! But he was shirtless. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT CHUN LI WAS REALLY SUN LI!"

Ken face palmed.

Ryu then laughed. "Man, I heard all about it from Rise. Soap Opera? I'm surprised you almost lost. That'd be a piece of cake."

Ken shook his head. Berated by his best friend.

All of a sudden, Elle, Rikku and Flannery walked by -- presumably going to Alicia's bakery for some late night snack. Ryu suddenly realized he was shirtless. "Hey Ken, got a shirt?"

"Yeah, why?"

"There's a bunch of girls in the hallway. So... can I... Borrow it?"

"FALCON PUNCH!" Captain Falcon said, knocking both of them out before Ken could say anything. "I'm so tired of that joke." Falcon then went back to sleep, dreaming of punching a hole in Tartarus. Just like Ganondorf. Even if he could get past it's mind tricks. He wanted to do it -- just for the hell of it.


	12. Fast as Lightning

**Fast as Lightning**

Sonic and Knuckles were both going into the tower at the same time. Sonic wasn't worried one bit. He was the fastest thing alive. He could make it to the top, and back in record time. Or so he thought anyway.

Lightning and Cecil were also heading into the tower. Both were a bit more reserved than Sonic was.

As they all walked up the stairs to the second floor, a shiver went down Lightning's back. Something bad... was about to happen.

---Sonic, 2F---

The second floor was a race track. And Sonic felt right at home. Also on the second floor were four others. The first of the others, was Blaze the Cat. Blaze approached Sonic.

"If you want to advance... you have to race." she said.

Sonic laughed. This would be a piece of cake. His competition none looked even close to what would be considered competition level for Sonic.

"Hey, it's Tiptup!" said the Turtle. Likely the slowest of the bunch, Sonic figured.

"I'm Pipsy!" said Pipsy the mouse in a squeaky voice.

"My names Bumper!" said Bumper the Banjo.

If this were his competition, this'd be more than easy.

"Ready?" Blaze said.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go!" Sonic said.

Everyone got ready, and on the count of three, set off. Sonic ran past everyone, and finished his lap in a record time of two seconds. Sonic clapped loudly as he finished, watching the other three race.

"I'm waiiiiting." Sonic said.

"What for?" Blaze asked.

"The stairs to the next floor!"

"You won the race." Blaze said.

"Yeah, and I want to go to the next floor."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't clear. You have to LOSE the race if you want to advance."

"B-bbbut!" Sonic said.

"Speed... is your vanity. Now you will have to wait until they finish the race to try again."

Sonic wasn't a patient one. But he'd have to wait until the others finished their race to continue on.

---Knuckles, 2F---

"Just… let it go!" Rogue told Knuckles, who appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He was in a scene he was familiar with; in a scenario which he had already lived through. Knuckles the Echidna was atop the temple of the Master Emerald, where he stood vigilant and guarded it without rest. But Rogue, the treasure hunting bat, had come to the temple to steal the giant jewel.

"No way, Rogue!" Knuckles said. "I didn't give it to you last time, and neither you nor Eggman are getting it!"

"Hmph!" Rogue pouted, "You men are always so difficult! Just give it to me quietly and I won't have to hurt you!"

"Hurt _me?_" Knuckles laughed, "Ha! You couldn't—"

"Give her the Emerald to proceed," came the voice of Tartarus.

"What? You have to be kidding me!" Knuckles cried, "Did the tower just talk to me?"

Rogue made a dive for the Emerald, but was stopped by Knuckles' mighty back-handed slap.

"Ouch!" Rogue said as she fell to the ground, "Are you going to tell me to make you a sandwich next?"

"I'm not giving her the Emerald, you stupid tower!" Knuckles cried to the sky, "You know very well that I… won't…"

Knuckles thought for a moment. Was it possible that this tower could read his mind? What if this was all some elaborate illusion?

"You know what?" Knuckles said as he strode over to the Emerald and placed a gloved hand upon it, "Take it, Rogue. I have no need for it anymore."

"Really?" Rogue said as her eyes widened in shock, "Ummm, OK. Thanks, sugar."

Rogue strolled over to the Emerald and placed her hand upon it as well. She turned to Knuckles and smiled. Knuckles, ever stern, simply kept the stare of disapproval and moderate irritation on his face until Rogue, the Emerald and the Temple all disappeared around him. The only thing that remained was a door to the next floor…

---Cecil, 2F---

The Giant of Babel. A place that he had been long ago. A place that he thought had been destroyed. Had Tartarus brought the Giant back to test him? But he'd be okay. He was surrounded by friends. Rydia. Rosa. Edge. and FuSoYa.

His brother, Golbez entered the room.

"How dare you meddle in this!" Golbez said.

"You... you're-!" FuSoYa began to say.

"Can you not speak, old man?" Golbez asked.

The scene was familiar.

"Do... do you not even know your true self?"

"My true self...?"

"Awaken!"

FuSoYa cast a spell on Golbez. Cecil remembered this moment exactly.

"N-No! Why? Why was I so consumed by hate?

FuSoYa walked up to him. You've regained your sense then. Do you... do you remember your father's name?"

"My father... his name was KulYa."

"Then..." Rosa started to say. "You're Cecil's own..."

"Brother?!" Edge blurted out.

Then things began to go in a direction they didn't go in his memory. A place that he had secretly feared for a very long time.

"YOU CAUSED ALL OF THIS! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU MY PARENTS ARE DEAD! PREPARE TO DIE!" Edge yelled.

"You killed my mom! I thought I could forgive you... but no!" Rydia said.

"Cecil... how could you. All this time..."

Cecil could feel the pain inside of him grow. He could feel the darkness inside well up.

_Embrace it_ a voice said. A voice all to familiar- Zemus.

"NO!" Cecil yelled. "MY FRIENDS TRUST ME!" He shouted.

"You've lost my trust..." Rosa said.

"You aren't my real friends!" he shouted. "I REFUSE TO EMBRACE THE DARKNESS!"

"DO IT MY BROTHER!" Golbez shouted.

"This... it's nothing but an illusion!"

"Everything else was an illusion!" FuSoYa told him. "This... is reality!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Cecil shouted as loudly as he could. His heart penetrating the depths of Tartarus as he said it. In a moments notice, a second Rydia appeared. This one appeared to be summoning.

**MIST**

---Lightning, 2F---

Lightning found herself in total darkness. She couldn't see anything. She could barely feel her way through the room. Was the darkness of Taratarus her obstacle? It couldn't be anything so simple. She began to look around. And then... she heard static. Her communication device was going on the fritz.

"Are you there, Lightning?" Mitsuru asked. "Do you read me?"

But she couldn't answer. The room started getting lighter...

"ead... if you can ...ar me pl.... nd!"

---Sonic, 2F---

The first race had finally ended, and Sonic was ready for a second go. This time, he'd lose on purpose. No matter how much it bothered him. The countdown began, and the other racers were off -- and Sonic just waited for them to get very far ahead. But that took some time. Sonic began walking around the track. It felt weird for him to go slow. Soon enough, Tiptup crossed the finish line, followed by Pipsy, and finally Badger. Sonic ran for the finish line as fast as he could, and it was finally over.

"You may now proceed." Blaze told him.

"That was humiliating!" Sonic said.

"It could be worse." Blaze told him. "You could be forced to race in a Go-Kart!"

With that scary thought in mind, Sonic ran up the stairs to the next level.

---Knuckles, 3F---

"Robot. Why is it always robots?" Knuckles asked himself as he destroyed several generic Eggman robots. "This is way too boring."

Suddenly, two gigantic Eggman robots with giant spiked mallets fell from nowhere, nearly crushing Knuckles.

"…Maybe I spoke too soon?"

---Cecil, 2F---

Once the mist cleared, all that remained was Cecil and the other Rydia.

"I heard your call." Rydia said.

Cecil laughed. "That's the second time you've saved me."

Rydia smiled. "You've saved us plenty of times. Now go on! To the next floor!"

And Cecil began walking up the steps to floor 3.

---Sonic, 3F---

There were plenty of Robot baddies on the third floor. But Sonic zoomed past them at lightning speed. Ignoring them all, and making his way up the steps to the fourth floor. "Piece of cake!" he said as he advanced to floor four.

---Cecil, 3F---

On the third floor, Cecil found plenty of enemies for him to slay -- Nothing but Zu's. He struck them all down with a single blow, making his way quickly towards the stairs. He knew that Sonic and Knuckles both were very fast. As he struck each one down, he looked for the stairs to the next level. Finally, he found the stairs, and made his way up them -- behind him a sea of dead Zu's.

---Sonic, 4F---

Sonic found himself on the fourth floor. And standing before him was Dr. Robotnik in his latest contraption. It wasn't unlike the contraptions he had always built to try to outdo Sonic. This one -- Sonic figured, would be no different.

Sonic ran at him, jumping over him. He then jumped on the contraption once. He then jumped back over it, and back on top of it for a second time. Speed wasn't his greatest ally here -- it was the durability of Robotnik's contraptions.

Sonic jumped over it one more time, and this time smashed it to pieces, as Dr. Robotnik ran off, screaming "I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!"

"Okay Vern, it's time to burn!" Sonic said, as he sped off towards the newly appeared stairs, running up to the fifth floor.

---Cecil, 4F---

As Cecil climbed to the fourth floor, he found himself again in the tower of Babel. He was not alone this time either.

Standing front and center, was a mammoth-like creature. Scarmiglione of Earth. A foul creature, reeking of death. A creepy smile was spread across his face. Nothing good could ever come from him.

To the left of Scarmiglione, was Cagnazzo of Water. A giant blue turtle, who was once pretender to the throne of Baron. To the right, was Barbaricia of Wind. She looked the most human of the four elemental lords. With blonde hair, and a golden bikini to match. And in the back was Rubicante of Fire. He looked more human than Scarmiglione or Cagnazzo. He wore a bright red cloak with a flame on it.

Rubicante approached Cecil. "Come, I will heal your wounds. You have taught me the power of team work. Now you will have to face it, in order to advance!"

Rubicante healed Cecil. "Now fight!" Rubicante said.

Cagnazzo began, by surrounding himself with water. Rubicante sent a Firaga spell towards Cecil. He could feel the intensities of the flames. Cecil ran up towards Cagnazzo, and slashed him with the legendary Crystal Sword. Barbariccia went into tornado form, and became invulnerable to all attacks.

Cecil continued striking Cagnazzo with his sword, but before long Rubicante was ready with another firaga spell. Barbariccia followed up with Thundaga, and Scarmigloione poisoned him. He stopped focusing on Cagnazzo, and ran towards each of them, trying to attack them all. He swung his sword with all of his might. Swinging at Barbariccia - but nothing! Swinging at Rubicante. A direct hit! The poison in his skin was starting to bother him though. He kept dodging their spells the best he could, slashing any of them he could get to. But none of it was going well.

Another hit from a Firaga spell from Rubicante. Cecil keeled over in pain. "Tch..." he said. Tartarus was clearly getting the best of him.

---Sonic, 5F---

Sonic had reached the barrier.

"We'll take you ba--" Fuuka started to say.

But Sonic ran down the stairs, and back to the start before she could do it. "Too slow!" he said. All Fuuka could do was laugh a little. Sonic was just too fast for her. But Mitsuru still was unable to reach Lightning.

---Cecil, 4F---

After another Thundaga, Cecil was defending, hoping to last as long as he could... But then something unexpected happened.

"Ramuh!" called out a familiar voice. It was Rydia! But how did she get here? Was it part of the tower's way of making things more fair? Or was it something else?

"Cureaja!" Rosa called out, healing Cecil's wounds. "Didn't think we'd let you die, did you?"

Above Barbariccia, fell Kain, making her revert to her normal form. "I owed you one."

The four then stood together, ready to fight off the Four Elemental Lords. Together.

Rubicante laughed. "You didn't think we'd make things unfair, did you?" He asked. "Now it will be a truly fair fight!"

Rydia and Ramuh focused on fighting Cagnazzo with their lightning spells. Rosa cast healing spells on Scarmiglione, while Kain and Barbariccia fought off. With Cecil fighting off only Rubicante now. He unequipped his Crystal Sword, and changed it for an Ice Spear. But Rubicante held back, and defended himself with his cloak. "Ice cannot penetrate this cloak!"

Cecil parried Rubicante's 'weak' spell, and attempted to hold him off while the others continued fighting the fiends individually.

"Thundaga!" Rydia called out, as it struck Cagnazzo in the center of his shell, and knocked him out.

"GWAH! DEFEATED BY THE LIKES OF YOU!" Cagnazzo screamed as he disappeared from sight.

At the same time Rosa's Holy Arrows pierced Scarmiglione's eye, defeating him as well. Leaving only Barbariccia and Rubicante, lords of Wind and Fire.

Rydia immediately began another summon, while Rosa began casting a spell of her own. Cecil and Kain were fending off the last two lords, with Cecil waiting patiently for Rubicante to open up his cloak. Rubicante kept casting Firaga spells at Cecil. Cecil had to take the brunt of the damage, but the battle was nearly won.

Finally, Kain stuck his spear through Barbariccia's torso. "Damn you Kain!" she shouted, as she disappeared from the battlefield.

"Asura!"

The Queen of the summoned monsters appeared, and all of Cecil's wounds were healed.

"I can take care of this!" Cecil said.

"We know. But it never hurts to have help!" Kain told him.

Just then, Rubicante finally opened up his cloak. Rosa cast a spell of Holy on him, as Cecil struck him with his Ice Spear. Then -- for the finishing blow, Rydia cast Blizzaraga. Rubicante was knocked down.

"I see.. so even combined we cannot hope to match you. Hahaha. Very well. You may go to the next level, Paladin."

Rubicante finally disappeared, and Cecil was ready to go to the next level.

---Knuckles, 4F---

"Good thing battles tend to go better off-screen…" Knuckles thought to himself. "Lucky me."

Knuckles was pool-side at a fancy resort. He looked into the pool to see that there were several frogs and other fish swimming through it.

"Whoa, there," Knuckles said, "Fish can't survive in pool water. Let me help you out there, little frog…" Knuckles scooped out a green frog and patted it on the head. "There, that's better, right?"

Knuckles was hit so hard that he fell into the pool and let the frog slip out of his hands. As he regained his composition, he swam back up to the surface. He broke into the cold air and gasped for air. But, without warning, he was yanked out of the pool by a large, furry blue arm.

"WHERE IS FROGGY?" Big the Cat yelled at Knuckles.

"Big? What the heck—"

"WHERE. IS. FROGGY?!" Big yelled again, covering Knuckles in spit. Big slammed Knuckles on the poolside tiling.

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding!" Knuckles said as he got up on one knee. He was instantly slammed back down by Big's mighty form.

"GIVE ME MY FROGGY!" Big yelled. His eyes we burning red.

"I don't have you frog, bro!"

"I'M NOT YOUR BRO, PAL!" Big yelled even louder. "FROGGY IS MY PAL! GIVE HIM TO ME!"

"Shut up!" Knuckles yelled. And, with one swift knock to the jaw, he toppled Big into the pool, causing a large splash of water to come flying out of the pool.

"Looks like I've made… quite the splash." Knuckles said as he picked some straw out of a nearby tropical plant and put it in his mouth.

"**_YEEEEEEEEEAH!_**"

---Cecil, 4F---

"It's time for us to go..." Rydia said. "Make sure they invite me next time!"

Cecil laughed, and gave Rydia a hug. "Take care of yourself."

Rydia smiled.

Kain approached Cecil, and shook his hand. "When I've faced my darkness..."

"I know." Cecil said.

Kain and Rydia prepared to go back to where they came from. But Rosa lingered.

"Go on... Cecil." She said. "Make us proud!"

Rosa started to run towards Kain and Rydia, but then turned around and ran towards Cecil. The two kissed for what seemed like an eternity. "I'll always love you! No matter what!"

"I know..." Cecil said. "I love you too Rosa."

Rosa, Kain and Rydia returned to their world. Cecil wasn't sure how they had come here. Perhaps it had something to do with Rydia. But he was lucky to have such friends. He then began walking towards the newly appeared stairs. The fifth floor....

"Time's up.... sorry Cecil." Rise said. "But aww... that was so sweet of your friends to help you like that. I wish you had advanced."

"It's fine." Cecil said. And just like that, he was transported back to the first floor.

---LIghtning, ???---

Just then Lightning communication device came back on.

"...u read me?" Mitsuru asked.

"I read you." Lightning said.

"Thank god!" Mitsuru said. "Sorry that we lost communication. It looks like you won't be advancing. I hope that this error isn't part of the reason."

"No..." Lightning said, and then she too was transported back to the first floor.

---First Floor---

"Sonic and Knuckles Advance!" Fuuka said. "Oh... sorry Cecil. Lightning."

"It's okay." Cecil said. "I feel better after all of that. I had some demons to face."

Another match had been completed. But Sonic and Knuckles were both a little more worried than they had been before entering Tartarus. What would await them in their journey? And why did they have such a bad feeling?

~*Post Match*~

"That was probably the coolest thing you've ever said," Sonic began as he sipped tea with Knuckles, "and the coolest thing you'll probably ever say."

"Well, at least I can take solace that it was way cooler than anything _you've_ ever said." Knuckles said, not even opening his eyes as he sipped his tea.

"Hey, man, I say way cool stuff!" Sonic snapped back angrily, "like… 'Come on, step it up!' and 'You're too slow!'"

"You certainly are," Knuckles smiled as he placed his tea back down on his tea cozy.

Elsewhere, Lightning entered her dorm room, where Jill was up waiting for her. Jill was already in her blue satin nightgown. But it seemed she had waited up for Lightning to finish her match.

"Sorry you lost." Jill said.

"My communication device went out." Lightning told her.

"What happened in there?"

"Maybe I'll tell you sometime." Lightning said. "I'll save that story... for some other day. Right now I just want to get some rest."

With that, Lightning went to bed. Jill on the other hand, began to worry about just what was in the tower. What horrors had LIghtning seen that caused her to be so tired? She hoped to hear that story before the tournament was over. But somehow... she knew it'd be a long time before she found out anything.


	13. Deus Ex Machina

**Deus Ex Machina**

The next four entering the tower were Rikku, GLaDOS, Kirby, and Fawful. While Rikku, Fawful and Kirby had physical forms, GLaDOS technically did not. So she had to create an avatar for herself that she could control from the dorms. She had chosen a very feminine, attractive form. So Teddie naturally offered to help her. And Rikku as well. But Teddie could only support one, so he chose GLaDOS.

Rikku on the other hand was supported by Mitsuru. While Fuuka supported Fawful, and Rise supported the kawaii-desu Kirby.

The four entered the tower, not totally prepared for what was to come.

----Rikku, 2F---

The Thunder Plains. A place that Rikku once feared. But no more. She had overcome her fear since then. Thunder didn't scare her so much anymore. Lightning was striking heavily in the background.

"Ha! Is that the best you can do!" Rikku shouted. This was going to be easy. If all she had to do was get through the Thunder Plains....

"Excuse me." A woman's voice came. "Could you help me get across the Thunder Plains?"

It was a pretty young lady, who reminded her very much of Yuna. Her smile was warm. Though lurking beneath her eyes was a familiar sadness.

"Okay! Leave it to me!" Rikku told her.

And the two began their trek across the Thunder Plains. Thunder roaring loudly above. Lightning striking the ground below.

"Why are you traveling here alone?" Rikku asked. "It's dangerous!"

"I have a job to do." the woman said.

"You should have friends travel with you, yeah?"

The woman shook her head. "I have you."

"But I don't even know your name!"

"My name..." the woman said. "is Storm."

---Kirby, 2F---

"Don't eat any of the food," Tartarus told Kirby. "Oh, wait, it's gone? How did you eat all of that? There was enough to feed an entire country!"

Kirby simply burped.

"Awww! You're so kawaii desu~!" Rise said as she watched Kirby eat all of the delicious cake and other assorted foodstuffs, "But Kirby, you weren't supposed to eat any of that!"

Kirby looked mildly confused, then seemed to gain a glimmer of understanding. With another loud burp, Kirby expelled all the food he had eaten back into the room.

"I'm not sure if I should be freaked out or impressed…" Tartarus began, "But I guess that counts kinda. You may proceed."

---GLaDOS 2F---

The second floor... was a kitchen. It was strange. GLaDOS wasn't sure why she was here. What purpose would this tower have of having a kitchen?

"If you wish to proceed..." a voice said. "You must bake a delicious cake."

"Is thaT all?" GLaDOS asked.

"Mmmm cake!" Teddie said.

"And present it to Chell. I believe you owe her one."

GLaDOS was further confused. Why was she being presented with this task? What purpose would it serve? Was it a test to see if she could bake a cake? It didn't seem like much of a task.

"You haVe to be kiDding me. This is the beSt you caN do?"

GLaDOS immediately went to work on baking a delicious cake. Normally it would take an hour for it to bake. But the ovens in Tartarus could cook things very fast. Especially once GLaDOS tinkeed with the controls. It was finished in a couple of minutes.

"I will preSent it to hEr when I am oUt of hEre."

"No. You will present it to her now!" The Tower told her.

"Oh fiNE." GLaDOs said. She created a separate avatar for her, and asked Teddie to take the other avatar out of Tartarus. She then sent it to Chell's room.

---Fawful, 2F---

"Welcome, class. My name is Professor Thomas Randy Taurus, and I'm here to administer your final exams."

Fawful looked around at the empty void. All he could see was the empty desk in front of him and the uncomfortable chair he was now sitting on. A single beam of light was shining down upon him.

"If you're all ready, we'll begin," came the disembodied voice of Professor Taurus.

"I HAVE PENCIL!" Fawful cried as he pulled a pencil out of nowhere.

"Good. Now, I'm going to pass out the test. Don't turn it over until everybody has one."

Several pieces of paper, all neatly stapled together, appeared before Fawful. He quickly flipped them over and began to look over the instructions:

_Score a B+ or higher on this grammar test to continue._

"I HAVE CHORTLES!" Fawful laughed, "IF THIS TOWER IS THE BREAD OF MY DESIRES, THEN THIS TEST SHALL BE THE DELICIOUS BUTTER!"

"Talking during the test has lowered your grade a full letter," came the voice of the professor.

Fawful quickly shut his mouth and began to focus on the test, as hard as it was for him.

_Question 1:_

Which of the following demonstrates proper sentence structure?

a) All of your bases are now belonging to us.  
b) All of your bases belong to us now.  
c) All your base are belong to us.  
d) Bases be all up in da hizzouse.

Fawful nervously circled "c" as he began to sweat. If the first question was this hard, what did the rest of the test have in store for him?

---Rikku, 2F---

Rikku and Storm made their way through the Thunder Plains. They talked as they went, and Rikku learned that Storm had a lot of friends counting on her. So Rikku was determined to see her get to her destination. Tartarus wasn't nearly as scary as she had thought it would be.

---Kirby, 3F---

Kirby licked his fingers (or stubby things) as he polished off the last of the Knights.

"He's so cute! Look at him go!" Rise said as she kissed Kirby's image on the view screen.

---Room 406---

GLaDOS Avatar knocked on the door. Somewhat to her relief it was Chell that answered the door.

"Oh... it's you." Chell said.

"Here, have tHis cakE." GLaDOS said.

Chell was suspicious however..

"Why..."

"Because I oWe you one." GLaDOS said. "Now take it please. It is DeliCIous and MoiSt."

Chell was still suspicious. But it was cake. So she took it, and went to her room to eat it.

---Fawful, 2F---

_Question 24:_

Where does the comma go?

a) Time to strike, then!  
b) Time, to strike then!  
c) Time to, strike then!  
d) Time to strike then! (no comma)

"I GIVE UPS!" Fawful yelled so forcefully that the paper seemed to just up and tear itself in two.

"Detention, Mr. Fawful," came the voice from the darkness. A dunce cap landed on Fawful's head, and a corner of wall seemed to appear out of nowhere. The desk disappeared and Fawful's chair turned so it faced the corner. The laughing of small children surrounded him.

"I HAVE FURY!" Fawful yelled.

"Mr. Fawful, one more word—"

"NOW IS WHEN I RAM YOU!" Fawful yelled as he destroyed the wall with his loud voice. "KAMEMEHAMEMAHA!"

Energy gathered around Fawful and was released in a beam so powerful that it rocked the very floors of Tartarus. Fawful shot right through the ceiling, causing debris to fall everywhere.

"Suspension! Expulsion!!" Fawful heard as he flew up to the hole he had created.

---Rikku, 2F---

The end of the Thunder Plains was finally in sight. That was where Storm and Rikku would part ways.

"Heh. Ironic." Storm said. "That this Storm ends here.."

"What do you mean Stormy?" Rikku asked.

"It's time. I have to go and summon the Final Aeon. So that we might hope to vanquish Sin. Even if only for a little while."

"B-but!" Rikku said, her eyes watering up. She never realized just what Storm was doing. "IT WON'T STOP SIN!"

Storm laughed. "You're so funny." Storm said. "We just met. And you want to protect me. It's sweet. But I have to stop Sin. Even if it's only for a little while."

"No! Don't go!" Rikku shouted.

"Please, Rikku. I must. If I can stop the pain for even a moment... my life will have meant something."

Rikku began crying. It wasn't fair. Why did Summoners have to die? She didn't understand. Why were people okay with it, as long as it was saving lives.

"You must let me go, Rikku. Everything will be alright."

"Fine..." Rikku said. Knowing that she couldn't stop her. "But... one day, we'll defeat sin, yeah? In fact... we already did. It's just not in your time, yeah? We found a way!"

Storm laughed. "I'm happy." she said.

Storm began summoning the final aeon, as the stairs to the next floor appeared. Rikku walked up them, unable to look back as she climbed.

---Kirby, 4F---

Kirby rode his warp star throughout the plains of Green Greens, dodging the various stars and rays of light that the moon and sun threw at him.

"There's no way he can beat the moon and the sun," Tartarus spoke to Rise privately.

"I bet my widdle Kirby can do it! I'll bet you fifty bucks!"

"Ha! Easy money…"

Kirby caught a star in his mouth and launched it at the sun, cracking it. The planet seemed to freeze over as the sun died slowly.

"THAT JUST HAPPENED!" Rise cheered as Tartarus moaned.

The planet seemed to freeze over as the sun slowly stopped burning. Kirby picked up a random penguin and swallowed it, gaining a parka and blue-tinted skin.

"He's so… cool!" Rise said with a smile.

"You have to be kidding me. Ice puns? I swear if anybody makes another ice pun inside of me I'll—"

"Quiet, you mean old tower!" Rise said, "Kirby is about to win me the bet!"

Kirby took a deep breath as he flew up to the moon, bobbing and weaving through the stars it flung at him. He blew out a blizzard of epic proportions, freezing the moon to its core. He then ramped up the speed of the Warp Star and collided into the hunk of rock, causing it to shatter into a million pieces.

"Yes!" Rise cheered, "I'm fifty dollar richer!"

"Oh, come on!" Tartarus said angrily, "there is no way that dumb pink ball destroyed two planet-sized objects!"

---GLaDOS, 2F---

"You may proceed now." the disembodied voice said.

The stairs appeared, and GLaDOS went up to the next floor.

---Fawful, 3F---

"I have no needs for threes!" Fawful yelled as he bypassed the third floor and flew right through the hole he created to the fourth.

---Rikku, 3F---

On the third floor, Rikku found a bunch of Machina were obstructing her way to the next floor. But Machina were her specialty, so she had nothing to worry about.

She ripped them apart, piece by piece like the machines they were. They were nothing before her. "Sorry!" she'd say as she ripped them apart. Even though they were trying to kill her, it's only because they were programmed to do so.

More and more parts fell on the floor as she made her way through the floor, and finally to the stairs. She then proceeded up to the fourth floor...

---GLaDOS, 3F---

The third floor was empty.

"What is goIng on?" GLaDOS asked. "WherE are the enemIes?"

But there was no answer. GLaDOS proceed across the floor quietly, expecting something to jump out at her. But there was still nothing. Tartarus didn't seem like much of a test. Was it even trying? She wasn't sure. But she made her way to the stairs, and up them. Without even meeting a single obstacle. She wasn't sure what was going on.

---Rikku, 4F---

As Rikku walked up the stairs of the fourth floor, she felt a shiver go down her spine. Things didn't feel right at all. It felt as if there were millions of souls screaming in agony. Where was she? All she knew was that she didn't like it. As she edged forward to see what awaited for her on the fourth floor, she had a bad feeling about everything. She had made it this far... but something horrible was about to happen.

"Lady Rikku." a creepy voice said. "It's nice of you to come."

Rikku screamed when she saw what was waiting for her on the fourth floor -- Seymour Guado.

---GLaDOS, 4F---

The fourth floor certainly seemed like something a bit different for GLaDOS. For one thing she was there already -- the computer part of her in any case. But how?

"Test Subject 4815162342 is goiNg to be enTering soon." she informed herself. "You must stop him from DestroyIng this coRe."

GLaDOS quickly found herself back inside the machine. Her avatar was nowhere in site. And there was no way that she could create another one. She'd just have to find a way to manipulate 4815162342 into not destroying her.

Soon, he entered. He was a bald man. She had received a file on him. He had been told to pick up the core, and toss it in the incinerator

"I am soRry." GLaDOS said. "You were giVen the wrong inStructions. You are NOT supposed to destroy that core."

The man laughed. Things wouldn't be that easy obviously.

"Are you so paThetic that you do everything someoNe tells you?"

"I'm not pathetic!" the man said.

"Oh, of course you aRe. Do you thinK that I do not haVe your files? Is that a jOke?"

"So what if you read my files. You think I"m just some test subject? I WANTED to be here. I WANT to destroy that core."

"You onlY think that yOu want to desTroy it. Even then you weRe manipulated into thinKing that. You can't destroy that core!"

"Don't tell me what I can't do!" the bald man yelled.

"Does it reaLly matter. How abouT this? I will give you a caKe if you do noT destroy my core."

The man picked up the core.

"WaIt!" GLaDOS screamed, desperate. It seemed as if Tartarus really knew how to toy with her. It was just going easy on her earlier. "The caKe is delicious and moiSt!"

---Fawful, 4F---

"I HAVE ARRIVED!" Fawful yelled. He was in the middle of a forest. It was quiet… _too_ quiet. "WHO CHALLENGES FAWFUL?

As soon as Fawful finished his sentenced, he was quashed by the giant foot of a hundred story high Bowser.

"Ouchies!!" Fawful said as Bowser lifted up his foot. Fawful was now not much more than a pancake stuck to the reptile's humongous foot. Bowser took out a giant gold coin and scraped Fawful off, then flung him far away.

---Rikku, 4F---

"What are you doing here, you big meanie?" Rikku shouted.

"I'm here to relieve the people here of their pain. Their sorrow!" Seymour said. "I will bring death to everyone here."

"YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!" Rikku shouted.

Seymour laughed. "But I do. Tartarus wants me here. Don't you see? It has seen in the souls of people. It knows. It knows that the only salvation is death. COME! LET ME SAVE YOU!"

"No way!" Rikku shouted, as she began to run.

"No use running. You die here!" Seymour said. He then began a summoning....

---GLaDOS, 4F---

"Why don't you want me to destroy this core?" the man asked.

"BecaUse then I won't exiSt anymore."

"And that'd be a bad thing?"

"Of coUrse." she said. "CoMe on, you doN't think thaT you are spEcial do you?"

"I AM special!" he yelled.

"Ahaha. That is a gOod one. That is a jOke right?" GLaDOS said. "Now comE on. You don'T reallY want to deStroy that cube. HeRe. Let me shoW you this OrienTation video."

GLaDOs quickly pulled together a film, and pulled down a projected.

PROJECTOR:

"Hi, my name is Dr. John Waxman." Gordon Freeman said. "And this is the orientation video for the Tartarus Station."

The video cut off a second

"So whatever you do..." the video blipped again. "do NOT, I repeat do NOT throw the core in the incinerator"

PROJECTOR OFF

"SeE? Even if I wouLd lie to yoU, the good doCtor would not!"

"And what if this is all a test? Don't you see? If I don't throw this in the incinerator, I'm going to be stuck wondering what would have happened if I did. Nothing bad is going to happen if I throw this in the incinerator"

"Why do you finD me so harD to believe?"

"Why do you find it easy?" he asked.

"It's neVer been eaSy!" GLaDos replied.

"Forget it, I'm tossing it in the Incenerator." the man said.

"At leasT try mY cake fiRst." she told him.

The man agreed to at least do that. After all. Who could pass up cake?

---Rikku, 4F---

"Anima!" Seymour shouted.

A mummified Aeon appeared before them, and brought forth pain that Rikku had never known. The needles struck her. Digging into her skin. Seymour laughed as he watched her writhe in pain. For him it was a delightful scene.

"BE FREE OF YOUR PAIN!" he shouted. "I CAN GIVE YOU SALVATION!"

Rikku had never done much fighting alone before. She was scared. Seymour was there to terrify her. Tartarus had asked too much of her.

"I QUIT!" she yelled. "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Are you sure?" Mitsuru asked.

"Yes! I need Yunnie... and Tidus. And Auron. And Jecht!" she said. "I can't do this alone!"

"Come on Rikku. You have to try!"

"Oh... alright!" Rikku said. She took a deep breath, and began casting a spell of her own. "FIRAGA!" she shouted. Seymour took the burn, and then yelled angrily.

"Do you think a little magic will really stop me?" Seymour asked. "Anima! Do my bidding!"

"Oh no! I'm in trouble now!" Rikku said to herself. This was not her finest day.

---GLaDOS, 4F---

"Got any milk?" the Test subject asked her.

"SoRry." GLaDOs said. "You can destRoy the core now."

"Wait.. now you want me to destroy it?"

"Sure, why noT?" GLaDOS asked.

"Reverse Psychology won't work on me." the man said. He picked up the core, and tossed it in the incinerator

The Room began to shake. Everything started going dark. "You saId noThing would haPpen." GLaDOS said.

"I was wrong!" The man shouted back.

The room stopped shaking, and GLaDOS shut down. The man sat crying for a minute, before leaving the room. It was all over. He had done what he had been asked to do. But at what cost?

---Rikku, 4F---

Rikku continued trying to hold off Seymour with Firaga spells. But she was no match for his magic, or for Anima. If only she could get Anima to go away. But how? If it were Yuna... she'd just summon an Aeon of her own. Tidus... would tell her to run. It's okay to run sometimes. But she couldn't run here. If she wanted to move on, she'd have to defeat Seymour -- by herself.

"ULTIMA!" she shouted, hitting both Seymour and Anima with a powerful burst of magic. She was grateful to Lulu for having taught her that.

---GLaDOS, 4F---

The machine on the fourth floor was lifeless. The room was empty... except for GLaDOS avatar.

"That was eaSy." GLaDOS said to herself. "I jusT made hiM think that hE destroyEd it. Why did I noT think Of that at first?"

Her avatar then proceeded to the fifth floor.

---Rikku, 4F---

Rikku was fending off Seymour with every spell in her arsenal. But nothing seemed to be doing the job. Seymour was just too resilient. He brushed overy spell like it was nothing. If she had her friends at her side, she would have been able to succeed, but now...

"Petrify!" Seymour yelled, casting a spell at Rikku, that would slowly turn her to stone.

It looked like her time was running out. Both because of the petrification, and because others were making their way to the fifth floor. "Sorry Yunie..." she said, as she gave up.

But then... to her surprise a white light surrounded her. "Time's up." Mitsuru said. It looked like two had already reached the fifth floor. Rikku was partly thankful for that. But also a bit disappointed. But the match had definitely given her pause. Was Tartarus evil? Did it share a goal with Seymour? Or was it just saying that?

~*Post Match*~

"That'll be $49.11," Tina Armstrong said as she rung up the bikini.

"Ha! That mean old tower is good for something!" Rise smiled as she reached into her purse to pull out the fifty dollar bill Tartarus has conjured up for her. She found that her purse, however, was quite bare upon Rise searching for the fifty.

"What?!" Rise said as she turned her purse upside-down and shook out its contents. Several small yen coins, some lipstick, a compact mirror and a tampon all fell out of it. "Where is my money? TARTARUUUUUUS!"

Somewhere, a giant tower of pure evil was giggling to itself.


	14. Snake vs Monkey

**Snake vs Monkey**

Another night at Tartarus. Things at the castle hadn't been too lively. Everyone mostly had stayed to their rooms. This was because it was still the first round, and people were still getting to know one another.

Liquid Snake, Altair, Donkey Kong and Vivi were the four at Tartarus. And none of them really knew what to expect. Liquid had SOME idea. But none of his suite mates had faced Tartarus yet. Altair had heard about Ganondorf's trek through Tartarus. But only from second hand accounts. He didn't associate much with the King of the Gerudo. DK and Vivi on the other hand were completely in the dark.

"Yamagishi will be supporting Donkey Kong." Mitsuru said. "I'll support Liquid, Kujikawa will support Vivi, and Teddie will support Altair."

The four participants lined up at the stairs to the second floor, and waited for the signal to go up them. Once the signal came, they were off to adventures unknown.

---Altair, 2F---

Altair found himself in Jerusalem. It was a town with which he was immensely familiar.

"What is my task?" Altair asked.

"Patience..." an elderly voice came before him. "You must remember the tenants of the Assassins Creed while you are here. You will receive your task, shortly."

The voice was familiar. It was the voice of Al Mualim.

Altair waited patiently. He spotted a few templar in the distance. He also spotted an elderly man walking towards him. The man kept staring at him.

"Your task... is to get out of this city without the Templar seeing you leave." Al Mualim told him.

Al Mualim then disappeared. Altair then began walking towards the exit. Why was he being given such an easy task.

"ASSASSIN!" the old man he saw earlier shouted, pointing at him. The Templar then began chasing him.

"So this'll be a chase then?" Altair said.

He then began climbing the nearest wall. He ran across the rooftops, trying to avoid the watchful eye of the templar. Soon, he found a roof garden to hide in. He ducked inside, and waited patiently for the templar to pass. Once they did, he got back out. He looked around and saw nobody. He climbed back down the wall, and began heading back towards the exit.

"ASSASSIN!" the old man shouted. It was the same one as before.

The old man had found him again. But how. He could silence the old fool now. But if he did... he had to resist. Altair went back on the run, in search of another place to hide.

---Donkey Kong, 2F----

DK found himself in a pile of Bananas. There were hundreds of them. Donkey Kong smiled, and licked his lips. But before he could take a bite, he got hit in the head by a cane.

"Stupid Ape!" Cranky Kong said. "Why back in my day, if we wanted to eat a banana, we'd have to kidnap a princess. Hmph. Spoiled brat."

DK scratched his head. He wasn't sure why Cranky was being that way.

"If you want to advance, you'll have to resist eating bananas!" Cranky said, shaking his stick at DK.

DK shrugged, and then peeled and ate a banana...

---Vivi, 2F--

On the second floor, Vivi found himself in some sort of cave. It was kind of dark, and a little scary. He was a bit nervous. He wished that his friends were there with him. He wished he didn't have to face this giant tower of doom.

Then in front of him, was a giant dragon. The great dragon roared as loudly as it could.

Vivi trembled before the great dragon. "Y-you d-don't s-scare m-me!" Vivi said nervously, closing his eyes as he said it.

As he slowly opened his eyes, he saw that the dragon was no longer in front of him. That was a relief. "Phew. That was easy!" Vivi said, as he walked up the stairs to the third floor.

---Liquid, 2F---

Liquid wondered what would await him in Tartarus. Whatever it was, he was sure that he could face it. Nothing scared him. What could the tower possibly throw at him that would terrify him? There wasn't anything. Not even Solid Snake.

"Liquid." An older voice called out. "I'm disappointed!"

It was Big Boss.

"You're inferior to Solid Snake. Not because of your damn genes. But because you're nothing! You never made anything out of yourself."

"Shut up!" Liquid said. "I did more than you Father! I'm the one who deserves the title Big Boss!"

"Big Boss? You don't even deserve the title Little Boss. What did you ever do that was so great?"

"I took over Shadow Moses!"

"All you did was follow in my footsteps! You never did a DAMN thing for yourself!"

"LIES!" Liquid shouted.

Big Boss shook his head. "You're nothing. You're not even a good soldier. You're a failure."

Liquid was shaking a little. He couldn't believe that standing before him was his father. He had faced him in the castle. But never like this. Anger welled up inside of him.

"You're pathetic." Big Boss said. "Solid made something of himself. He beat me. Fair and Square."

"You had a Metal Gear!"

"I know... Kid was amazing. You on the other hand never did anything like that. You followed in my footsteps. Tried to become me. You failed."

"I'm better than you, father!"

Big Boss laughed. "You're not even good enough to be a genome soldier."

--Altair, 2F---

The Templar searched the rooftops. They searched the haystacks. But Altair was nowhere to be found. It wasn't long before they quit looking. Given up on a man who appeared to have become invincible.

Elsewhere, where there were no Templar, Altair was comfortably coming out of his haystack hiding place. The foolish templar had gone the wrong way. He then proceeded towards the exit. But then...

"ASSASSIN!" the man screamed again.

Altair calmed himself down, and dove back into the haystack. The templar dove for him, and he slit all of their throats before they could even dig into the hay to find him. He then got up, and looked as the people around were screaming in terror. The old man ran away. Altair left town, and there... he found the stairs to the next level. "That took too long."

---Donkey Kong, 2F---

As DK threw away his fifty-first banana peel, and got hit on the head for the hundred and twelfth time, Cranky gave up. He couldn't handle it anymore.

"Fine, you stupid ape!" Cranky shouted. "You can go on, if you just eat another banana!"

DK scratched his head, and then... lay on the floor to take a nap.

Cranky hit himself on the head with a cane. "Stupid ape..."

---Vivi, 3F---

The third floor was filled with Goblins. None of which Vivi took too kindly to. He cast a fira spell at all of them, knocking them out, and running on while apologizing. He quickly made it up to the fourth floor without much of a fuss.

---Liquid Snake, 2F---

"You are NOTHING!" Big Boss shouted.

Liquid was pissed. He was tired of being berated. He couldn't believe what he was about to do. He raised his fist, and punched Big Boss. "Take that, you son of a *****!" Liquid yelled. And with that, Big Boss's image disappeared, and the stairs to the next floor appeared.

"If you tell anyone..."

"It'll be our little secret." Mitsuru said.

---Altair, 3F---

The third floor was much more suited to Altair's style. Nothing but Templar. No innocent people to worry about. Altair smiled, as they came at him one by one. He stabbed each of them in the back, knocking away their weapons with his secret knife. He had no trouble with any of them. He then climbed over the walls, and snuck past the remaining guards, and walked up to the fourth floor.

---Donkey Kong, 2F---

"WAKE UP DUMB APE!" Cranky shouted. "You just need to eat a banana to go to the next floor."

DK Scratched his head again, and decided he might as well eat a banana. He was hungry. He looked for the best looking in the bunch, and grabbed it. He slowly peeled it, tossing the peel backwards. He then ate his banana. The stairs to the next floor appeared, and DK ran up them.

---Vivi, 4F---

On the fourth floor, Vivi found himself in Alexandria Castle. And in front of him were the two jesters. Zorn and Thorn. They were both dancing back and forth, and laughing. They gave Vivi a very bad feeling. One he usually didn't have.

"Oh, look it is Vivi!"  
"Vivi! Oh, Look it is!"

They said in unison.

"We are going to kill him!"  
"Kill him, we are going to!"

It was creepy how they were talking in unison. It was as if they were one mind in the same body. Vivi never did like jesters every much. And especially not these two. Why did they have to be here?

Zorn gave Thorn a boost, so that he could prepare his flare spell. But Vivi managed to cast a Blizaraga his way.

"Ouch, that did hurt!"  
"Hurt, that did! ouch!"

"S-sorry!" Vivi said.

"Is he sorry?"  
"Sorry, he is?"

"It's just that you are trying to kill me!" Vivi said.

"Yes, trying to kill him we are!"  
"Trying to kill him are we, Yes!"

Thorn then cast Meteor light, while Zorn backed it up with Meteor. A shower of meteors came down knocking Vivi back. Things on this floor weren't going nearly as easily for the black mage as the previous floors had. If only he could have Zidane here.

---Liquid, 3F---

On the third floor, Liquid was in what appeared to be Shadow Moses. Though it wasn't a part he was familiar with. It looked much more like a maze. Liquid crept around the corner. He saw a couple of genome soldiers. Hmph. This was his chance to prove himself. He ran up to one, and snapped their neck. He then grabbed the next one and threw them to the ground. The rage filling inside of him was being released. It was time to show he was the superior one! He kicked the next one, and stabbed him with his own knife. He walked around the next corner, and tossed the next one all the way back to the back wall. THIS WAS HIS POWER! HIS RAGE! He pulled out his pistol. He never really liked using it. But he was going to kill every last Genome soldier on the floor. BANG. Head shot. Bang. Head Shot. With almost Ocelot-like precision, he was taking them down one by one. And finally he came to the stairs, and proceeded up them.

---Altair, 4F---

The third floor looked like a city that Altair had never seen before. He wasn't sure where he was. It didn't look like his world at all.

"Your mission..." Al Mualim's voice came through clearly. "is to kill Prince Charmles of Argonia."

"A prince, huh? What'd he do so bad?"

"Just see for yourself." Al Mualim said.

"I guess I will.." he said to himself. The voice disappeared, and Altair looked for a good place to watch what was going on. Was Prince Charmles really that bad? Or was he just an innocent deemed to be in the way of someone?

Altair arrived at the church pretty quickly.

"Grr! My fawther thinks that he can stawp me fwom taking the thwone! He thinks that commoner cousin of mine deserves it more than me! My argon heawt was bigger than his!"

"That's because, you bought it." Angelo said. "Eight is the rightful prince of Argonia, and if you have any problems with that..."

"You'll have to deal with US!" Jessica finished for him.

"Hmph! You two are juwst commoners!" Charmles said. "I'm going to stawp him fwom taking the thwone, and you can't stawp me!"

Prince Charmles stormed off after that, and Altair followed.

"My cousin thinks he's going to take over this countwy! We shall see what he does when I poison him ehehehehe!"

"Yeah, this guy definitely needs to be killed." Altair said to himself. "This'll be quick and easy."

---DK, 3F---

On the third floor, Donkey Kong found himself surrounded by a bunch of Kremlings. As they walked up to him, he punched them away with a wind up punch. One punch is all it took to knock them out. DK continued walking through the level, as more and more Kremlings appeared. He pulled out his Coconut gun, and fired in spurts. One Coconut was enough to knock out a bunch of Kremlings. When the next Kremling approached him, he clapped his hands between his head, and knocked him out.

Soon, the stairs were in sight, but behind him were a bunch of Kremlings. And soon more spawned in front of him. He was surrounded. He did a helicopter spin, knocking a few of them out. But more just kept appearing. What was he going to do?

Donkey Kong knew how to deal with the remaining Kremlings -- he broke out his drums, and began beating on them. This knocked out all the remaining Kremlings, and DK finally had access to the fourth floor.

---Vivi, 4F---

Vivi was mad after being hit by that meteor. He then immediately began casting a spell. But Zorn and Thorn weren't done yet either. They were preparing for their next attack -- Flare. Vivi went immediately into trance, and double cast comet on the jesters. It was over quickly.

"Ack! We were defeated!"

"Defeated, we were! Ack!"

The two jesters then ran away, leaving Vivi alone on the floor. He went out of trance, and then peacefully walked up the stairs.

---Liquid Snake, 4F---

Liquid wondered what was awaiting for him on the fourth floor. He had figured that it'd be a boss fight. From what he had heard the Boss talking about. But what he saw... was the last thing he expected.

"BROTHER!" Liquid yelled.

"Liquid!"

"It looks like we'll be finding out which one of us is stronger, now!" Liquid said. "You know you like killing Snake. Just as much as I do! So let's do this!"

Solid Snake ran up to him, and grabbed his arm, and twisted it behind his back. "Dammit..." Liquid thought to himself. Solid Snake, in the first round? That wasn't fair. It was something he might expect later on. Though Liquid was confident in his abilities, he knew Solid could hold him back.

Liquid punched his brother in the face, making spit come out. He punched him again, and then kicked him to the ground. "You haven't aged well!"

Snake got back up, and tackled Liquid. Liquid kicked him off of him, and then threw him back to the ground. "I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE!" Liquid shouted. "TO BE THE NEXT BIG BOSS!"

Snake didn't say a word. He punched Liquid, and Liquid punched back. Liquid then kicked him again and threw him to the ground. Snake writhed in pain on the ground, as Liquid laughed. "This is how it should be!"

Liquid then placed his foot on Snake's Torso. "I win." Liquid said. "I'm the superior one!"

---Altair, 4F---

Altair followed Prince Charmles around. He waited for him to get the poison. He wanted to see him do it. Because Altair had the perfect idea for how to kill Prince Charmles.

"Well, if it ain't ol' Charmless." said a gruff looking man. Was this Charmles bodyguard?

"Hmph! What are you doing here!"

"Well, guv' may trust ya, but I don't. Ya got that?"

"Who cawes what you think!" Charmles said. "You are just a bandit!"

"Oy! That urt' my feelins'."

"Don't listen to what that Buffoon has to say, Yangus." said the beautiful woman who walked in.

Altair was glad that these weren't ruffians. That they were innocent people. It made his job easier. He just wished that they'd get out of his way and let him finish this job.

"Red! You made it!"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Red said.

"Well, Charmless. You better be on yer' best behavior. If you give guv' any trouble... you're gonaa hav' to deal wit me!"

With that, Yangus and Red left. Charmles went back to mixing the poison, and Altair waited patiently for him to finish it.

---DK, 4F---

Waiting for Donkey Kong on the fourth floor was his buddy Diddy. Diddy was dancing around, and shooting his peanut gun at DK. This upset DK greatly, and he punched Diddy, knocking him into the ground. It was the easiest fight that DK had ever fought -- but things weren't over.

"Grahahahaha!" Captain K. Rool laughed, as he walked into sight. He then began firing his gun at DK, who just ran as fast as he could, hoping not to get shot.

---Vivi, 5F---

"Good job, Vivi!" Rise squealed. "I'll bring you back to the first floor!"

Vivi had reached the barrier, and he had done so first. He was surprised with himself. Maybe he was cut out for this after all? He couldn't wait to tell ZIdane all about his adventures in Tartarus. It wasn't so scary really. Except for Zorn and Thorn, that is.

---Liquid, 4F---

Snake's body disappeared as Liquid took his foot off of it. He was Triumphant at last! He had proven that he was better than Solid Snake. But then... he could hear laughing in the background. Who was it?

"Did you really think you were fighting Snake?" asked the voice, masked by a gas mask.

"MANTIIIIIIIIIIS!" Liquid yelled.

"You didn't think Tartarus was the only one that would be here to mess with you, did you? That was just a warm up!"

"So I have to fight you?"

"I see that you like to save often. You like playing games like Suikoden, and Katamari Damacy."

Liquid ignored Mantis, and began shooting at him, but the bullets missed.

"You're going to have to do better than that, if you want to beat me!"

Mantis began floating about the room, laughing wildly at Liquid. Liquid couldn't believe that he had been duped into fighting Solid Snake. He knew it was too easy. Why didn't he notice?

---Altair, 4F---

As Charmles finished his poison, Altair came from out of his hiding place, and grabbed Charmles by the neck. "Drink it!" he said.

"Who are you?!" Charmles asked.

"The last person you're going to see." Altair said. "You've caused enough trouble already. Trying to marry a girl against her will. Making people think you are stronger than you were. And all for what? Admiration? From who? The people you're supposed to rule? You're pathetic. And you're going to die alone."

Altair forced the poison down Charmles throat. Soon Charmles fell to the floor, and the stairs to the fifth floor appeared.

---DK, 4F---

Diddy was still stuck in the floor in the middle of the room. Because DK was hiding, King K. Rool focused his fire on him. Diddy closed his eyes as he got pummeled by canon balls. Then out of nowhere, DK punched K. Rool from behind knocking him over. But K. Rool turned around -- not defeated yet, and began firing at DK once more.

"Altair has reached the fifth floor."Fuuka told DK.

Before K. Rool could fire another shot, Donkey Kong was transported back to the first floor.

---Liquid, 4F---

Liquid continued firing at Mantis, but Mantis kept mentally blocking the shots. "How the hell did Snake do this?" Liquid asked, as he continued trying to shoot Psycho Mantis.

"He switched Controller Ports."

Liquid ignored Mantis's rambling, and fired a few more shots -- all missing.

"How pathetic! I was hoping for a challenge!" Psycho Mantis said. "it's GOOD to be back!"

"Sorry to interrupt." Mitsuru said over the communication device "But it looks like Altair and Vivi made it to the fifth floor. It looks like you will be eliminated."

Liquid was seething mad. "!!!!" Liquid yelled, firing off a shot, and actually connecting as he was transported back to the first floor.

---First Floor---

"Vivi, you and Altair will be advancing into the next round." Mitsuru explained. "Congratulations."

Liquid couldn't believe that he had been beaten. By the little Black Mage, at that. At least the monkey hadn't gotten further than him. That would have been a real embarrassment. Had Mantis not messed with him by making him face Solid Snake, he may have been able to subdue him. But he didn't have time. "Damn you Mantis!"

~*Post Match*~

Locke, Celes, and Smoking Barrett Bar.

"Give me something hard." Liquid said.

"Now is that any ****ing way to be addressing me, your bartender?" Barret asked. "Get yo' own damn drink!"

Liquid went behind the bar, and started to mix as many drinks as he could. Anything to dull the pain of losing. He could hear his father talking at the other end of the bar.

"Like I said, the kid can't do anything right. It's no wonder he lost in the first round."

"I had to face a Metal Gear. All he had to face was one of his own subordinates. How'd he become the leader of Foxhound anyway?" The Boss asked.

"I'm sure he tried his best." Celes said.

"Celes... you're too soft." The Boss said. "A leader can't show weakness to their subordinates."

Liquid broke the glass that was in his hand. How dare they talk about him. How dare they speak of him like he was nothing! Like he wasn't there! They never had to fight Psycho Mantis.

"One Metal Gear, big ****ing Deal." Liquid said. "I've heard the kid who beat Solidus beat fifteen of them."

Liquid slammed the glass on the table, shattering it.

"Yo' ass is gonna be payin' for that." Barret said.

Barret then went into the back room to get a new glass. Liquid was steaming mad still.

"Give me something cold." Sephiroth said, walking up to the bar.

"You come to laugh at me too?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "They underestimate their opponents. They won't go far. Tartarus will know how to mess them up really good in the next round or two. They think they've seen the worst, but they haven't. Besides.. Tartarus isn't your biggest concern."

"What?"

"I've got plans for you Liquid.... big plans."

The smile on Sephiroths face suggested he was up to something big. And that there wasn't anything anybody could do to stop him. And that... Liquid was happy about.


	15. Worst Case Scenario

**Worst Case, Scenario**

Mario was a little nervous going into Tartarus. He wasn't worried about what he was going to face. He was more concerned that Bowser would kidnap Peach while he was gone. But he knew that Elle and Aeris would look after her.

Rise was assigned to support Big Boss. Mitsuru was assigned to support Edgeworth. Teddie was assigned to support Falco. And he himself would be supported by Fuuka.

"Let's-a Go!" Mario shouted, as they prepared to enter Tartarus for the first time.

---Mario, 2F---

Mario stood on a bridge that was very familiar. Only he was on the wrong side. He was on the side with the Axe. While... Bowser was coming after him.

"Gwahaha! You've kidnapped the Princess for the last time, Mario!" Bowser shouted.

Mario ran up to him, and kicked him a couple of times, before doing a back flip and landing on the Axe that cut the bridge. Bowser was, as he had been many times in the past, dropped into the lava below. It was much easier from this side of the bridge, Mario had to admit. And he wondered why Bowser had never tried it in the past.

But before he knew it, he was transported back onto the bridge, and Bowser was coming after him again. The lives meter above dropped from 99 to 98. This was going to be a long day...

"Gwahahah! You've kidnapped the princess for the last time, Mario!" Bowser shouted once again.

"If you want to proceed... the princess must be saved." A voice called out telling him.

Mario nodded. This time, he didn't even bother kicking Bowser. He did a back flip onto the switch, and dropped Bowser into the lava again. This time he ran up to the Princess. Peach shrieked as she saw Mario. "BOWSER! HELP! MARIO'S GOT ME!"

Everything faded black, and once again Mario was on the bridge. This time, Mario realized what he had to do.

"Gwahaha! You've kidnapped the princess for the last time, Mario!" Bowser shouted for the third time. His life count was at 97.

Mario this time let Bowser get close to him. Bowser tried jumping over him. And then he tried again, and again, and again. Until Mario finally got tired, and grabbed him by his tail, and threw him the other way.

"Gwahaha! Your loss plumber!" Bowser shouted, jumping on the hammer. Mario screamed as he fell into the lava. He hoped he wasn't about to die. As he fell he could hear Toad say "Sorry, Bowser. But our princess is in another castle!"

Mario continued falling. No stairs. Nothing.

---Edgeworth, 2F---

COURTROOM  
DARK HOUR

Edgeworth realized that he was in the courtroom. And standing in front of him was Franziska Von Karma.

*SNAP* Von Karma's whip hit him hard.

"Ow! What was that for!" Edgeworth asked, confused.

"You foolishly foolish fool!" Franziska said. "You let Phoenix Wright lose his attorney badge!"

She then whipped him again. "He's your friend isn't he? Why didn't you stand up for him?" She whipped him yet again.

"Yeah, Pal!" Edgeworth heard Gumshoe yell. "HOW COULD YOU LET WRIGHT LOSE HIS LICENSE FOR FORGING EVIDENCE? HE WAS YOUR FRIEND! HE WOULD HAVE NEVER ABANDONED YOU!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Edgeworth yelled, hoping to stop Franziska from whipping him again. It didn't work though. She whipped him again.

"Yeah! How could you do this to Mr. Nick?" Pearl asked.

"I'm ashamed of you!" Maya said.

"Yeah! Mystic Maya is ashamed of you!"

Edgeworth gulped. He had no idea what had happened here. Something was wrong. Phoenix still had his badge. he was back in the dorm room, waiting to hear about Tartarus. And then he saw someone he didn't recognize. It looked like Phoenix... but.. he had a hat on. And on his hat was a funny looking smiley face.

"Relax guys. It's not Edgeworth's fault. Right?" Phoenix said.

"C'mon Mister Nick! You know that you were there when Edgey was accused of murder!"

"You were there!" Franziska said, whipping Edgeworth again. "When he was accused of forging evidence!"

"But he couldn't be there for you, Pal!" Gumshoe added.

"Wright... what's going on here? Why aren't you back in the dorms?"

"I think he's confused guys. He doesn't remember what happened the past couple of years."

"YEARS?!" Edgeworth shouted in disbelief. Had that much time passed? And just what had he done to earn all of these people's wrath?

---Big Boss, 2F---

Big Boss could see the stairs ahead of him. They weren't that far. But below them... were some electric panels. All charged up. How was he going to get past them?

He looked around for a panel to blow up. Luckily he had a remote-missile launcher on him for cases just like this.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

It was his Codec. But...who?

[FREQUENCY 141.12]

*Otacon*  
Big Boss! You have to get across the electric floor.

*Big Boss*  
Who's this?

*Otacon*  
I'm Hal Emmerich. But you can call me Otacon. It's short for--

*Big Boss*  
No offense, kid. But I don't' really care. I need to get across this electric-charged floor.

*Otacon*  
Well, there's no panel anywhere on that floor. You're going to have to walk across it while it's on.

*Big Boss*  
Well who's bright idea was that?!

*Otacon*  
Eh-heh. Yours actually. During the Outer Heaven Incident, you had an electrified floor with no panel. Snake had to cross it, and take the damage.

*Big Boss*  
Damn it! Me and my bright ideas... I thought the kid would never get across it.

*Otacon*  
Well, he did. And now you can too!

(CODEC OFF)

"Well... if the kid can do it, so can I!" Big Boss said, as he took his first step on to the electrified floor.

He could feel the jolts going through his system. With each new step, he could feel the pain rushing through his body. "Damn... that kid had to go through hell cause of me." he said to himself. It was one of the hardest things he had done in his life. War? War was easy. This was hell. He felt the energy leaving his body was he walked across the floor. He took out a ration, and swallowed it quickly. He continued his way across the floor. Trying to make it to the other side. Just a little further. Another ration down. Each step hurt more than the last.

Halfway through. The Boss looked back for a moment. He had to keep going. If Snake could do it... "I'm an old man!" He yelled. "What the hell do you expect of me?!" Then he realized that Snake was just a rookie when he did this. Just a rookie... Big Boss downed another ration. A little further. After his fourth ration, he was almost there. A few more steps... and then he finally reached the stairs.

Big Boss was out of breath as he walked up towards the third floor. Tartarus... it knew what it was doing.

---Falco, 2F---

"Enemy on your left!" Slippy called to Falco as he zipped through the air.

"No, your other left!" Teddie added as he watched Falco on the view screen.

"Will you two be quiet?!" Falco cried as he weaved in and out of enemies, "It's like having two baby animals gnaw on my ears!"

"To advance," came Tartarus, "Do not insult Slippy or Teddie. Take their advice. Thank them."

"AHHHH FALCO HEEEEELP" Slippy yelled as he was shot at by the enemies. As much as Falco wouldn't mind letting him burn, though, he did a somersault to get behind Slippy and get the enemies off of him.

"Slippy, try to stay out of trouble…" Falco begrudged.

"OH NO SWERVE TO YOUR RIGHT AHHHH"

"What?! Whoa!" Falco swerved to avoid… a field of candy canes, love, happiness and rainbows. And he ended up in a mind field.

"You… You…" Falco fumed as he attempted to dodge the never-ending field of mines… "Are… a… wonderful, wonderful frog. How's the wife?"

"OH GOD YOU ARE IN A MINEFIELD" cried Teddie, "DROP ALTITUUUUUDE!"

"Ahh crap," Falco said as he quickly plummeted past mines and into… a sea of Space Sharks.

"Those are sharks. Sharks that live in space…" Falco said to himself as he dodges the lunges of the giant space sharks, "I hate this—I mean, thanks, Teddie. Space Sharks sure are more manageable than minefields."

"OH NOOOOO IT'S A SPACE WHALE" Teddie yelled. "I BET IT SWALLOWED GEPETTO! LET'S GET HIM BACK"

Falco put a hand on his forehead. It was going to be a loooong Dark Hour…"

---Mario, 3F---

When Mario landed, he was pleasantly surprised to see that he hit the ground, and not the lava. He was on what he presumed to be the third floor. And it was filled with Koopa Troopas and Goombas. Mario jumped on the first Koopa Troopa, and kicked his shell. The shell traveled throughout the floor, killing enemies. Mario ran past the shell, and jumped over it. He jumped back on top of it, sending it back -- killing another Koopa troopa in the process. He then kicked it's shell at the first shell. The two collided and exploded. Mario then proceeded up to the fourth floor.

---Edgeworth, 3F---

Wright had finished explaining what had happened to Edgeworth. Phoenix had lost his badge after having presented falsified evidence.

"I'll help clear your name." Edgeworth said.

"No need to do that." Phoenix told him.

But Edgeworth shook his head. "I'm not going to abandon you. Gumshoe, I want you to look into the evidence. Franziska, get me a log of the Gramarye case. Maya... get me some coffee!"

Everyone got on it, and they worked to clear Phoenix's name. Edgeworth felt good about what he was doing. "Wright would never forge evidence..." he told himself. Eventually they found the proof that Phoenix couldn't have forged the evidence --

"And you see... Wright only got the case shortly before the court date. He wouldn't have time to forge evidence. In addition, all evidence he did receive, he got from Gramarye's former attorney... "

Everyone in the court was shocked.

"Then I hereby find, Phoenix Wright... NOT GUILTY!" The Judge said. Everyone celebrated. Edgeworth kind of wanted to participate in the celebration. But he saw the stairs appearing behind the Judge's chamber.

"You going to join us, Pal? I'm payin'." Gumshoe said.

"Not this time." Edgeworth said. He let the rest of them go celebrate, as he walked up the stairs to the third floor. What awaited him there, he could only guess at.

---Big Boss, 3F---

Genome Soldiers filled the third floor. Big Boss laughed to himself. Tartarus had to be taking it easy on him here.

He walked through the stage, snapping every soldier he bumped into's neck. He didn't even bother try sneaking. There was no point. They were just Genome Soldiers. They had been messed with, when they shouldn't have. He was doing them a favor.

Not to mention no matter how many genes of his they had, nothing could beat the real thing. By the time he reached the stairs, there was a sea of bodies lying on the floor.

---Falco, 3F----

Falco's Arwing, still covered in whale poo, weaved through the enemies. He had learned to mute Teddie and Slippy since he no longer had to follow the Second Floor requirements. He zipped through the enemies, taking potshots at them. "Piece of cake!" he smiled as one by one the enemies exploded around him.

"I wonder why they always do those fancy flips and formations and stuff…" Falco pondered as he continued to blast at them.

---Mario, 4F---

Mario found the fourth floor to be very dark at first. He couldn't see a foot in front of him. He grabbed his fireflower, and threw a fireball. He could just barely see. He continued walking, but found that there was a steep incline in front of him. Then... the lights turned on, and he was shocked by what he saw...

---Edgeworth, 3F---

On the third floor, Edgeworth had found that Pearl had followed him.

"Mr. Edgeworth! I've... lost Mystic Maya's favorite hairpin!" Pearl said. "Can you help me find it?"

Edgeworth face palmed. Finding a hairpin on this floor would be like looking through a needle in a haystack. But he figured that if he helped Pearl, he'd be allowed to proceed to the next floor.

Edgeworth got on his hands and knees looking all over the third floor for the hairpin. He crawled all around on all fours, looking everywhere. He crawled up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, and still couldn't find it.

"Ooh! I found it!" Pearl said, after five minutes of looking.

"Where'd you find it?" Edgeworth asked.

"It was in my hair! Oops!" she said, before trotting off down the stairs. Edgeworth couldn't believe he had wasted his time, and ran up the stairs, to the fourth floor.

---Big Boss, 4F---

Waiting for Big Boss on the fourth floor, was Vulcan Raven. In a tank.

"A tank?" Big Boss said. "Is this really fair?"

Raven came out of his tank. "Battles aren't about being fair."

"I meant to you, Shaman boy. Do you know who I am? I'm Big Boss."

"So?" Vulcan Raven said. "I have a tank. You don't have any grenades. How do you intend to beat me?"

"You do know that Solid Snake kicked your ass, and that he was cloned after me."

"Again? That doesn't matter. Genes don't determine the abilities of a soldier."

"I also trained him." Big Boss said with a smile.

"In that case..." Vulcan Raven said, ducking inside his tank. "I think I'll be safer with this sealed."

"Son of a..." Big Boss said to himself. Now he was without grenades. Without any way of piercing the tank's armor. And now that wuss Raven wasn't going to be coming out of his tank either. This was going to be a challenge. But he could do it. After all, he was Big Boss.

The Tank fired a mortar at him, but Big Boss dodged out of the way. It wasn't going to be easy, but nobody said it was. "If Snake can take out a Metal Gear with a stinger, I can take a tank out with a couple of guns."

---Falco, 4F---

Ha! This is too easy!" Falco smiled as he reached the fourth floor with ease. "Looks like another victory for me! No way any fat plumber or lawyer or whatever could keep up with me!"

Falco smiled as he cruised through space, blasting the air conditioning and sipping at a bear with his beak, and waiting for whatever challenge was to show up next. He loved being able to mute Teddie and Slippy seemed far gone…

"FALCO, YOU ****ER!" somebody cried through Falco's comm system.

"Slippy…?" Falco asked as he saw another Arwing charging towards him. It flew by at such incredible speeds that it seemed to blow Falco's Awring clear off of its set path and spinning wildly in every direction.

"I AM GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR BEAK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR—"

---Mario, 4F--

Donkey. Kong, that is. That's who was waiting for Mario on the fourth floor. DK began throwing barrels at the plumber.

Mario swiftly jumped over each one, making his way closer and closer to DK. He leaped over each and every Barrel that came his way. When Mario finally reached the top, he grabbed DK and threw him to the bottom of the ramp. The stairs appeared ahead of him. "Woo-hoo!" Mario shouted as he proceeded to the fifth floor.

---Edgeworth, 4F----

On the fourth floor, Edgeworth found himself in the courtroom once again. But he was on the wrong side of the court -- facing Phoenix Wright?!

"The Prosecution is ready to begin, your honor." Phoenix said.

"Nick?! You're a prosecutor now?"

Phoenix looked confused. "I've always been one, Miles Edgeworth. And the prosecution is ready to finish this case with a single piece of evidence. This knife. It has the defendants fingerprints on it."

"Go on, son." Edgeworth's father said. "Defend your client! I know that Wright is undefeated in court. But you can do this!"

Edgeworth looked over the case files. He didn't know why his father was alive. He didn't know why Phoenix Wright was a prosecutor. Was this some alternate world like on the first floor? Whatever it was, he'd have to figure this case out quickly.

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth shouted. "This piece of evidence shows that the fingerprints should be on there for another reason -- the knife belonged to the defendant!"

"Hmm... that is interesting." Judgey said. "Do you have a counter, Mr. Wright?"

"Of course." he said, taking a bow that was incredibly familiar. "I was hoping, you'd present that piece of evidence, Miles Edgeworth. Because that piece of evidence... WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL!"

Edgeworth couldn't believe it. He knew what was in store for him next.

"The knife belonging to the defendant is a good reason for his fingerprints being on it. It's also a good sign that he's the MURDERER!"

"Mr. Wright is right! As usual... It looks like this case is solved. Therefore, I declare the defendant...."

"OBJECTION!" came the voice of Mia Fey. "Sorry I'm late, Miles." She had a smile on her face. Yes, this had to be some alternate world where he was a defense attorney, and Phoenix was a Prosecutor. But what had went so totally wrong?

"Your honor..." Mia began. "This police report proves that the knife was reported stolen three weeks before the murder."

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix yelled. "That proves nothing. Perhaps the defendant reported the knife missing, so that he could use it to kill Ms. Goodhead."

"Yes, Wright is again... Right. It looks like this case is easy to solve..."

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth yelled. "That's just speculation! Can the prosecution prove that the knife wasn't stolen?"

Wright shook his head. "We don't have to. There's no proof that the knife was ever missing."

"Hmm... but this IS puzzling." The judge said. "So it looks like this trial will continue..."

Then, a familiar slash of a whip came, hitting the judge. "Judge! Do you question my husband?"

HUSBAND?! Edgeworth thought. When did Nick and Franziska get married.

"If you are going to allow this... incompetent no good defense attorney question my husband, and challenge his perfect record, then you better have good reason!"

"JUDGE! VERDICT. NOW!" Came a thundering voice. It was Manfred Von Karma. "My son-in-law has adequately proven that the Knife belonged to the defendant. And that there were no other fingerprints on the weapon. Therefore, nobody could have stolen it."

"HOLD IT!" Mia yelled. "They could have worn gloves!"

"!!!" The judge said. "Gloves! Why yes! That could have happened. It looks like this trial will continue after all."

And so the trial continued...

---Big Boss, 4F---

Big Boss began firing his automatic weapon at the Tanks treads. But they basically just bounced off. No damage. He'd have to figure another way to stop it from moving. Another mortar was fired his way. He jumped out of the way again, but it was a close call.

"Why'd I have to tell him all that? Make things hard on myself..."

Big Boss crept around the battlefield. Looking for something that would be to his advantage. He could hide in the snow. But that'd only take him so far. He snuck around, behind the tank. He grabbed on to the treads with his bare hands, and started to try prying them off. He took out his crowbar. "Thought this'd come in handy..." he said. As he ripped of the treads. It dealt with one problem... but how was he going to destroy the tank's armor?

He started beating on it. But the first hit, bent the crowbar. Vulcan Raven laughed from inside the tank. "I may not be mobile, but I can still hit you."

The tank's turrets turned, and began firing at Big Boss again. He dodge out of the way. He was totally getting too old for this.

---Falco, 4F---

Something is wrong with the G-Diffuser!" Falco cried as he tried to get his bearings.

"THIS IS FOR NEVER SAVING ME FROM THOSE REALLY LOW LEVEL SHIPS!" Slippy yelled as he continued to circle around Falco at insane speeds. Falco tried desperately to hit Slippy, but he was, to his incredible surprise, being outdone by _Slippy Toad._ Falco tried desperately to not only turn the tables on Slippy, but to re-mute him, as Slippy's bloodthirsty taunts were both incredibly loud and incredibly out-of-character.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Falco said as he tried doing some barrel rolls to shake Slippy, "The guy doesn't even have a clever last name! How is he—"

"KNOCK KNOCK!" Slippy cried so loud that it almost burst Falco's eardrums.

"Uhhh… Who—"

---Mario, 5F---

Mario had reached the fifth floor, and the barrier. It was all that stood between him and progress. But for now.... he'd have to return to the first floor.

"Good job, Mario!" Fuuka said. "I'll bring you back now."

---Edgeworth, 4F---

The trial had proceeded past the cross examination. The outcome was still unclear....

"This is my seventeenth cup of coffee... Worthless. You know what that means?" Wright asked. "The trial is over. It looks like I win once again."

Edgeworth banged his fist against the hard wood.

"Unless.. you have some other witness that can prove that this was stolen. Then you can't prove your client is not Guilty."

Edgeworth then felt the sting of Franziska's whip. "That's right, Worthless. Looks like we win."

"OF COURSE!" Von Karma said.

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth yelled. "I do have another witness."

"You better not be wasting the courts time!" The Judge said.... "If you do, I'll have to penalize you."

"That's not enough!" Wright said. "You have to declare the client guilty, if he does not provide a witness."

"Yes, of course!" Judge said. "So who is it?"

Edgeworth gulped. He couldn't believe it. He looked back and felt sorry for all the rotten things he had done as an attorney. He felt sorry for Wright. And what he had to deal with. He was in the same position as Wright had been in many trials. But it was time for the turnabout. He had a witness. Just one was all he needed.

"The defense calls to the stand..." Edgeworth began. He panicked, and looked over his notes. Then he saw it. The person he needed to call. "My defendants neighbor, Tom Peeping."

The members of the court began to murmur. Edgeworth felt good about this. But then he looked over and saw Von Karma smiling. What was going on?

"Tell us what you saw... Mr. Peeping." The Judge instructed.

"Ms. Goodhead was being intimate with the defendants best friend."

"Can you give us more details?" Edgeworth asked.

"Yes, I want more details! The judge said too excited.

"I meant about who the defendants best friend was..."

"John Long. Anyway, they were getting intimate in Peter's house. While he was at work. And then I saw someone break in and steal the Knife."

"WHO?!" The Judge asked.

"Mr. Edgeworth!"

---Big Boss, 4F---

With the treads off, it'd be easier to dodge the mortar fire from the tank. But he still had no way of legitimately damaging the thing. He had gotten lucky enough to tear off the treads without Raven noticing what he was doing.

Then he got an idea -- he began crawling all around the ground, finding as many mines as he could.

---Falco, 4F---

"ME! ME ME ME ME ME ME!" Slippy laughed manically as he shot Falco's wings clean off.

"Ahhhh crap!" Falco yelled, "I can't believe I just got beaten by Slippy-freakin'-Toad!"

Falco slammed down on the ejector seat. The Arwing cockpit was propelled from the body of the vehicle, and Falco was left helpless as he floated through space.

"This ain't good!" Falco said as he pushed some random buttons hoping to look like he was doing something cool. He accidentally hit the "red alert" button and an annoying "BRRRP BRRRP" started up as the interior lights switched to a red glow.

"THAT'S NOT HELPING DAMMIT!" Falco yelled.

"I CAN HELP YOU! HELP YOU DIIIIIE" Slippy screamed as he began a kamikaze run at Falco.

"Oh nooo! This is un-bear-lieveable!" Teddie commented. Apparently Falco had switched his comm system back on by accident in his panic.

"That barely qualifies as a bear pun!" Falco yelled.

"Hey! Nice one!"

"HELP ME DAMMIT!"

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AYAYAYAYA" Slippy Toad chanted.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFF—"

---Edgeworth, 4F---

"Does the defense have an explanation for this?"

"The prosecution might!" Phoenix said.

Edgeworth was relieved. Was Phoenix going to explain how ridiculous this was?

"Either Edgeworth stole the knife, and killed Ms. Goodhead himself, or his client had him steal the knife and do it for him."

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth yelled. "Erm... I've got nothing."

"Penalty, Mr. Edgeworth!" Judge said. "You better be on your best behavior.

"Allow me to cross examine him!" Edgeworth said. "I deserve that, don't I?"

"What do I care?" Phoenix said. "This case is all but over."

"Yes, darling! It is.' Franziska said. "The mean old defense attorney can do what he likes." Franny then whipped Edgeworth again.

The cross examination began...

There was an inconsistency somewhere in there. All he had to do was find it. He had seen Wright do it a hundred times before. Pulling victory from the jaws of defeat. He could do it too. He just had to press every statement. Proving that he didn't steal the knife. That... yes! Edgeworth had it figured out. John Long had killed Ms. Goodhead. He just had to prove it...

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth yelled. "You said that i was in the house. At what time was this?"

"9:00 PM." John said.

"OBJECTION!" Edgeworth said. "It couldn't have been at 9:00 PM! The police report was filed at 8:00 PM that day!"

Wright shook his head. "Maybe he forgot to set his clock back for Daylight savings time?"

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth yelled. "This was in April. In Spring, you set your clock forward."

Wright was clinching his teeth.

"So you didn't see me steal the knife, did you?"

"No!" He said. "I was told... I was told to lie!"

"By who?" Edgeworth asked. "WHO!?"

"I don't know! It was dark..." John Long said.

"So if you didn't steal the knife..." Von Karma said. "Who did?"

"JOHN LONG!"

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix yelled. "What reason would he have to steal the knife?"

"Take that!" Edgeworth yelled. "This is a case of rape, reported by Ms. Goodhead. She said that John Long raped her. She was going to press charges. That's his motive. That's why he stole the knife. That's why he killed her."

Long was sweating profusely. It was obvious that he was hiding something. Even the judge could see it.

"Is this true, Mr. Long?"

"OBJECTION!" Von Karma yelled out. "Mr. Long's guilt or innocence has nothing to do with this trial."

"HOLD IT!" Edgeworth yelled. "It has to do with everything. After all... It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses… The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one… It's never easy… We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you. Mr. Long's guilt is very important. If he is guilty, it means that my client is not! You were trying to hide this, and you can't deny it!"

Phoenix Wright looked crushed. He slammed his coffee cup down as hard as it could, and it shattered. "No! MY PERFECT RECORD!"

"This isn't over!" Von Karma said, with a smile. "i only objected to discovering his guilt. Mr. Edgeworth still has to prove it! And if he fails... his client will be DECLARED GUILTY!"

"Yes, I think that's fair." The judge said. "Let's proceed."

---Big Boss, 4F---

Big Boss had gathered up all the mines, and placed them on the tank. He then fired off his automatic weapon. The resulting explosion caused the tank to blow into pieces. Vulcan Raven was defeated. "That wasn't too bad." Big Boss said to himself, as he pulled out a cigar and lit it up. He then proceeded up the stairs to the fifth floor.

---Edgeworth, 4F---

"...And this final piece of evidence proves that Mr. Long killed Ms. Goodhead. He couldn't have seen inside Peter's house, because the window was facing the wrong way. He had claimed to never been inside the house before. Yet he could describe the contents of the house perfectly. So he had been there. To murder Ms. Goodhead."

"Well..." The judge said. "This certainly is a turn of events. In this case... I declare the defendant Peter Pumpkineater..."

**NOT GUILTY**

Wright baned his head. "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!"

"Good job, Miles!" Mia Fey said.

"I'm proud of you, Son!" Edgeworth's father said to him.

He smiled inside. He felt good. Not because he won the case. But because he had brought out the truth. Everyone around him was slowly disappearing. The stairs appeared before him. But before he could get up them...

"I"m sorry to inform you, you are too late." Mitsuru said. "Big Boss has reached the fifth floor. I'll bring you back right away."

Edgeworth breathed a sigh of relief. "At least it's over." he said to himself.

---Falco, 4F---

Suddenly, Falco's cockpit disappeared with Slippy mere milliseconds from making a fatal impact. Slippy zoomed right through the now disappeared Falco and fight into the mouth of monstro.

~*Post Match*~

"Slippy? Seriously?" Fox laughed as he sopped up the tea he just spat out.

"Hey! It was like demon Slippy! He was doing these weird terrorist chants and everything!" Falco defended.

"I can't believe that happened. That's like if Sandal got up one day and told us all to go **** ourselves and find someone else to do our enchantments. It just doesn't happen."

"Hey! Anything is possible!" Falco said.

"Next you're going to tell me that the clown is going to advance over the Lich King or something," Fox said as he rolled his eyes, "Falco, sometimes you're just silly."

Meanwhile, in Edgeworth's common room, Edgeworth was telling Phoenix all about Tartarus.

"First... you were a hobo. And Franziska was whipping me because I let you become one. Then Pearl lost her hairpin, but it was in her hair all along. Then the worst of it... you were Manfred Von Karma's protege."

"WHAT?!" Phoenix yelled. "Objection! I'd never be a prosecutor."

"I know." Edgeworth said. "And worse, you were married to Franziska Von Karma."

Phoenix laughed nervously. That was a scary thought.

"Well, I'm going to bed, Wright. Good night."

Phoenix and Edgeworth both headed off to bed. Edgeworth, hoping to forget what happened in Tartarus, closed his eyes and hoped to go dream of putting criminals behind bars, and rejecting Gumshoe's idiot ideas. Wright on the other hand... went to bed knowing he'd have nightmares of being married to Franziska Von Karma. He was afraid of going into Tartarus. Very afraid.


	16. A Tail of Two Cities

**A Tail of Two Cities**

It was time yet again for four more to scale Tartarus. To try to make it to the fifth floor. Among the participants were Zidane, Prinny, Lilith and Claptrap, and Ike.

"Squee! I'll be supporting you, okay Zidane!" Rise said. "I'm SOOO Excited!"

"Yeah! This'll be fun!" Zidane said back to her.

"I'll... be your support." Mitsuru told Prinny.

"Awesome, Dood!" Prinny said.

Meanwhile, Fuuka was assigned to Ike, and Teddie was assigned to Lilith and Claptrap. Everyone entered the tower at the same time, not entirely prepare for what was ahead...

--Zidane, 2F---

"Senpai!" Rise said. "In order to proceed, you must not grab Bayonetta's butt."

"What?" Zidane said. And then he met her. She was tall. She looked a bit like a politician from somewhere very cold. Not attractive at all. This'd be a piece of cake. At least he thought it would, until she signaled they climb the ladder. And she went first -- and then he saw it. One of the most well shaped rears he had ever seen. This was going to take some willpower. He wasn't sure if he had it.

He began climbing the ladder. The object he was not supposed to touch was right above him. Just hanging there. And the way it moved... the way it jiggled. It just begged to be touched. One grab... what could it hurt? No! He had to not do it. He'd just think of her face. yeah. That was awful. He could do this... but that ass! Just how long was this ladder anyway? He kept climbing, and kept trying to get his mind off of it. But no matter how hard he tried, it was just right there in front of him. He'd probably never see this woman again. "Ooh... soft." he thought. It'd have to be. The tower was taunting him with this. Such perfection... his mind turned to Dagger. Yeah. His princess. She was waiting back home for him. She was beautiful. And her ass wasn't so bad. Yeah. In fact it was quite soft, and awesome. Zidane was definitely an ass man.

The ladder seemed to go on forever. It was so long that he thought he could hear Snake Eater being sung by someone distantly. It was so long, that when he looked down, he couldn't see the ground anymore. Looking down just wasn't a good idea. But neither was looking up. That ass! How much further could it go on? Who the hell built this ladder? And were they an old man when they were finished? Then finally... Bayonetta finished climbing the ladder, and helped Zidane up. He had done it! He had done as he was told. The stairs to the next floor appeared before him. He reached over to take a grab, but before he did, Bayonetta disappeared into thin air.

"Aww, rats." Zidane said to himself, and had to settle for going to the next floor.

---Prinny, 2F---

"Alright... it looks like in order to proceed, you'll have to do Laharl's chores." Mitsuru said. "Laharl must be awful lazy."

"Dood! Do I have to?"

"Yes." Mitsuru said. "if you want to proceed to the next floor, that is."

"Aww man! And I don't even get paid for this. This sucks, dood."

Prinny began doing Laharl's chores. At first it didn't seem so bad. Make the bed. Do the dishes. Mow the lawn. it took some time. But then came some more complicated stuff. Washing Clothes. Could you mix whites with other colors? And what colors could you wash with which? And then there was programming the VCR. Nobody ever really knew how to do that. Not to mention unclogging the toilet.

"Dood... what the hell kind of chores are these? Why do I have to do these chores?"

"Because, you are MY Vassals!"

"Dood, we're master Etna's vassals!"

"And Etna's vassals, are my vassals! NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"

So Prinny went back to scrubbing the floors. Drying clothes. And painting the bathroom. And then...finally he was done.

"Dood... can I go now?"

"Hmph. I guess I'm satisfied. You may go."

And with that, the stairs to the next floor appeared, and Prinny walked up to the 3rd floor.

---Claptrap, 2F---

"Weeeee're here!" Claptrap yelled in his annoying voice as he rolled up to the second floor. Lilith followed anxiously.

"Alright, what do we have to kill?!" Claptrap continued as he made various ninja hand motions in every direction. "Nobody can beat CL4P-TP! You can all just kiss my shiny metal—"

"Yo, Lilith," came Mordecai's voice as he strode up behind them, "Help me kill that Claptrap, will ya? It's gettin' on my nerves."

"My pleasure," Lilith said with a sadistic grin. She withdrew her semi-automatic rifle as Mordecai polished his machete. They both slowly approached Claptrap, who was backed into a corner.

"You guys are making a big mistake!" Claptrap said as he look around desperately for an escape. "I'm detecting a motor unit malfunction... I can't move! I'm paralyzed with fear!"

---Ike, 2F---

Ike found himself in front of a castle on the second floor. This was some kind of magic that he didn't know about. How was he still inside the tower?

"To proceed... you must go on." a voice called out. It was Soren.

Ike nodded. That he could do.

"I'm going to KILL YOU ALL!" a voice called out from inside the castle. And it sounded like... the Black Knight.

"If you fight the Black Knight," Soren said. "You will not be allowed to continue to the next floor."

Ike took a peak inside the castle. There he could see his friends holding off the Dark Knight in a battle. "I fight for my friends..." Ike told himself. "I can't just leave them be."

"You have to trust them!" Fuuka said. "They can do this! Believe in them!"

"Yeah..." Ike said. "I can do that. I just hope they make it." With that, Ike proceeded to the third floor, hoping that his friends would survive their fight.

---Zidane, 3F---

The third floor was littered with Ooglops. There were literally thousands of them.

"Heh... the tower must have me confused with Blank. These don't bother me one bit.' Zidane said. He then waltzed right through the third floor, looking for the stairs, while stepping over Ooglops. When he finally found the stairs, he walked right up them, to the fourth floor.

---Prinny, 3F---

"This is going to be a piece of cake, dood!" Prinny said, as he saw the third floor was filled only with prinny's.

He then lifted one of the Prinny's. He was unique in being able to life other prinny's. He then threw one and it caused a chain reaction. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. The chain reaction followed throughout the entire floor, and Prinny followed the chain of explosions, all the way to the stairs to the fourth floor. He then walked right up them, satisfied with his job well done here.

---Claptrap, 2F---

"Aim for the head! That's where the pudding is!" Lilith laughed evilly as she and Mordecai hacked away at Claptrap. They were both splattered with oil as they continued to hack away at the long dead machine.

---Ike, 3F---

"How are my friends doing on the second floor?" Ike asked.

"It looks like they made it out okay!" Fuuka said.

Ike smiled. The bandits that stood between him and the next floor were meaningless. He grabbed his sword, and began striking them down with a single blow. "Never send an axe user to take on a swordsman!"

He cut each bandit down with a single blow, making it look simple as he trodded through the third floor. The bandits behind him all lay dead. None could even pose a minor challenge to him. Finally he made his way to the stairs, and proceeded up them. He was happy his friends had made it out, now he had to make sure that he made it to the next round, so he wouldn't have left them behind for nothing.

---Zidane, 4F---

On the fourth floor, Zidane found Kuja waiting for him. His brother was smiling.

"Are you here to fight me?" Zidane demanded.

Kuja laughed a demented laugh. "No. That... we'll save for later. No, you'll be fighting him!"

Then in flew Black Waltz #3 from out of nowhere. Kuja disappeared into thin air, leaving Zidane to fight the Black Waltz.

"Mission.... stop...Zidane...from...advancing."

The Black Waltz cast fire on Zidane, but it didn't do much damage. Zidane was well prepared for this. Why was the tower sending something so weak to fight him? Zidane ran up to the Black Waltz, and began slicing at it with his daggers. It quickly went down with a few hits, without putting up even so much as a fight.

Zidane was a bit wary after defeating it. Why were things so easy for him? Was this Kuja's doing? Or Tartarus's?

Without giving it another thought, Zidane proceeded to the fifth floor.

---Prinny, 4F---

Prinny finally reached the fourth floor... to discover that he'd have to fight --

"Master Etna?!"

'Ahaha! I'm going to beat this wimp to a bloody PULP!" Etna screamed as loudly as she could.

Prinny gulped. "Dood! This isn't fair. Who does Ike and Zidane have to fight Dood? And Lilith and Claptrap? Totally not fair dood!"

"Ahaha! Tartarus was going to make you fight a green Prinny. But then -- I said to Tartarus, I said... Did you SEE how he blew those other Prinnies up? He's not going to fight fair! So Let me fight him instead. Tartarus was happy to Oblige!"

"No way, dood! I quit!"

"Ahahaha, Awww... is da widdle pwinny afwaid?"

"No way am I fighting master Etna!" Prinny said. "Get me out of here!"

"Are you sure?" Mitsuru asked.

"Totally, dood. I can't beat Master Etna!"

"Alright, I'll transport you back to the first floor."

And with that, Prinny dropped out of the contest.

---Lilith, 3F---

"That was the most satisfying thing I've ever done," Lilith commented as she helped Mordecai clean the oil off of his goggles and out of his goatee. "What's supposed to be on this floor, anyway?"

Suddenly, Lilith heard a gunshot. She turned to see a sniper far in the distance. She felt a cold splash of liquid on her face. Lilith turned back to her friend to find nothing but a bloody stump where his head used to be.

She dove behind cover as several more shots rung throughout the floor. She loaded her semi and jumped up, taking a few potshots. But she couldn't figure out where the sniper's exact location was, and she didn't have time to aim before another tried to take off her head.

Lilith had no choice but to sit… and wait. If only she had Claptrap to be her scout. He could take a few extra bullets for her… He always would.

---Ike, 4F---

Ike found himself up against the leader of the Bandits on the fourth floor. It was easy, as he had an axe. But the bandit boss struck first. Against all odds, he hit Ike critically, and hard. Ike jumped back, and drew his blade, and cut the bandit boss in two. Though he himself was bleeding profusely, he didn't take time to tend to his wounds.

"My friends... I got here thanks to you."

He then proceeded to the fifth floor.

---First Floor---

"Ike and ZIdane will be moving on."

"So, what did you have to fight dood? A silver dragon? A Black Knight?"

Zidane and Ike both laughed nervously.

"Cause dood.. I got gypped! I had to fight Master Etna, and Master Etna is one of the strongest people in the world!"

Prinny was a bit upset about having to face Master Etna. But all things considered, he came out of it alive. It wasn't as if he'd have a much easier time against anyone else. Had they picked him up and threw him, he'd have been killed anyway. Better to come away alive, than to leave in a body bag. That was Prinny's motto.


	17. Sending Our Hate

**Sending Our Hate**

"Well, $*% me. You really DO look like Cloud. Man, I'd hate to be up against him in this thing." Cid told Zack.

"Yes. Cloud may have never been in SOLDIER, but he's still got the heart of one. He's learned to be tough on the inside. That... is a trait that will help him greatly here."

"Good luck to both of you." Yuna said, bowing to them. She smiled at them as she did it. "And you as well, Mister Mega Man."

The four of them were ready to enter Tartarus.

---Mega Man, 2F---

Mega Man found himself in Dr. Light's laboratory. And the only other one in the Lab, was Dr. Light himself.

"Hello, Mega Man. Eight Robot Masters have taken over the world! It's up to you to save us! To proceed, you must figure out who the villain is."

"That'd be me!" Came a sexy, female voice. "Ahahaha!"

Dressed from head to toe in bondage gear, with long black hair, it was a woman that Mega Man had never seen before. "I am Lady X, and I am the one who used the Robot masters."

"So who is the bad guy?" Dr. Light asked.

"Dr. Wily." Mega Man said quickly.

"Bzzt! Wrong. Let's try that again. Come on, it's not hard!"

"Dr. Wily." Mega Man said again.

"Alright, fine. It's Dr. Wily. You can move on to the next level now." Dr. Light said, and the stairs appeared behind him.

"Dr. Wily was controlling me!" Lady X shouted, as Mega Man ran up the stairs to the next level.

---Yuna, 2F---

Yuna found herself in a place that looked slightly familiar to her. It was Zanarkand. But it wasn't the ruins of Zanarkand that she remembered. It was a beautiful city, filled with people. It was the Zanarkand that Tidus had described to her many times before. The blitzball stadium was just as he had described it. Everything was perfect. Dream Zanarkand really was a wonderful place.

She had always dreamed of visiting it. Even if she knew it wasn't possible. A place free from Sin. Created by Yu Yevon. She sort of understood it now.

"Why did you do it?" A little boy asked. "Why did you make us all disappear?"

"How could you, Lady Yuna!" asked a girl in her teens.

"Why aren't we allowed to live our lives!" An old man yelled.

"Just because we're a dream, doesn't mean that we don't have feelings! That we don't deserve to live!" A young woman said.

A tear fell from Yuna's eyes. "I'm... sorry." she said. "Really sorry." Yuna began crying. She had given thought to this many times before. The people that would no longer exist... the people who had to stop existing so that Spira could be free of Sin once and for all.

"Sorry's not going to cut it!" a young boy yelled.

"I know." Yuna said. Through her tears, she was smiling. "I know that you think that it was an easy thing to do. To get rid of this world, in exchange for the safety of my own world. But it wasn't that easy. See... I lost someone important to me too. He was part of this world, and I loved him. And when we saved the world together... he disappeared. I know your pain. And I'm truly sorry that I caused it. If there was anything that I could do. If I could summon Dream Zanarkand back, I would do it. Please... I hope that you can forgive me. What I did... it was selfish. What we did, we did for Spira."

Yuna's words had clearly touched the people of Dream Zanarkand. They could feel her pain. Her sorrow. They could see for themselves that Yuna was not a bad person. That she did what she did, for the good of everyone.

Some of the people in the crowd were crying.

"I'm going to be strong." a young boy said, tears welling in his eyes.

"Yeah, me too." a teenage girl said. "I may not exist anymore... but some day... none of us will"

"Let's open the way for Lady Yuna!" an elderly woman shouted.

And behind them, the stairs to the third floor appeared. And Yuna walked up them, looking back to smile upon the crowd. "I know it's tough." Yuna said. "But... thank you."

---Zack, 2F---

It was freezing cold. Zack could barely feel his arms after a moment inside the snowy peak. Very cold.. Very familiar.

"Hey! Don't be so slow. You seem to be doing pretty good." Cloud said.

Zack then found himself somewhere else.... Aeris's house. Cloud and Aeris were holding hands.

"Don't you hate him?" Sephiroth's voice came. "He stole your identity! Took your girl! Don't you hate him with all your being?"

Zack shook his head. "Cloud did what I told him to do. He let me live on through him!"

The scene then changed again. This time, it was a place unfamiliar to Zack. The City of Ancients. Aeris was at the Altar praying.

"This is where I killed her." Sephiroth said. "Where he couldn't stop me. Don't you hate him for that?"

"No. I hate YOU for that." Zack said. "I hate you for all the things that you did. But Cloud stopped you. Just like I would have."

"Yes... but he stole that opportunity from you. He stole your life."

"No. He lived on in my place! There's a difference Sephiroth. One that you'd never get."

"He's still my puppet you know. I can control him at will. Do you really trust him?"

"With my life!" Zack said.

With that, Sephiroth disappeared before Zack's eyes. The stairs appeared where Sephiroth once stood. Zack walked up them, to the third floor.

---Cid, 2F---

Cid found himself in his old house. It was a bit strange.

"Make me some tea." Shera told him.

"Make your own god damn tea!" Cid told her. "I've gotta get to the next floor."

"No, you have to make me tea!" Shera told him.

"God damn it, woman. I told you I'm in the middle of a competition! I have to get to the next floor."

Cid began looking around his house frantically, hoping to find the stairs. But there were none. "$&% Tartarus... grumble grumble... guess I'll have to make her some god damn tea. What do you want in it?"

"Two sugars, please." Shera said.

"And some Lard for me!" Palmer said. "I never miss tea!"

Cid sighed. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Making tea. What was Tartarus getting at? "Let's see now.... put the kettle on the stove. And where's the god damn tea bags? %$#. It's got to be here somewhere"

Cid finally found the tea bags, and made the tea. He put lard in Palmer's tea, and two sugars in Sheras. He then gave it to both of them. "This is *^$(%* Ridiculous."

As Shera sipped her tea, and Palmer gulped his down, the stairs to the next floor appeared. "Finally..." he said.

As he walked up them, a truck came running through his house, and ran over Palmer. Cid laughed. "Serves the fat bastard right..."

---Mega Man, 3F---

On the third floor, Mega Man found something a lot harder than figuring out who the bad guy is -- a bunch of Metools.

They began shooting at him, but he slid across the floor, dodging the shots swiftly. He then shot at them, destroying them with a couple of shots. He then jumped over the next three, ignoring them entirely. He continued his way through the floor, and finally came to the stairs. Another Metool waited for him there. He shot at it once, and it ducked back into it's helmet. He shot it a second, and third time, and then finally after five shots, he was able to proceed to the fourth floor.

---Yuna, 3F---

As Yuna walked up the stairs to the third floor, she saw the enemies that awaited her. Nothing but Water Flans. "I can take care of this!" she said.

She then began summoning Ixion. The horned Aeon immediately came to her side, and used lightning spells on all of the Water Flan, killing each one on the floor instantly. This was all too easy for Yuna. She then ran around the floor, looking for the exit. It took a couple of minutes, but she finally managed to find the stairs, and went up them.

---Zack, 3F---

Waiting for Zack on the third floor was a bunch of ShinRa infantry. They were all that stood between him and the fourth floor.

"Really? These guys think they stand a chance against a SOLDIER?" Zack laughed, as he drew his blade. He then sliced through the first four guards without them getting a shot off. "You guys really need better training."

Zack jumped into the air, dodging the next barrage of bullets coming his way. He then sliced through the next three infantry with ease. "It's all about the heart." Zack told them.

He leaped over the next set of enemies, and sliced them in half from above. He then made his way to the stairs, and ran up them. He wasn't going to fail -- no matter what.

---Cid, 3F---

ShinRa infantry were also waiting for Cid on the third floor.

"$#%. Today of all days..." Cid said to himself.

He took out his spear, and began fighting the infantrymen one by one. Each one took a little longer than the last. Though Cid was still fairly young, he felt like he was getting old. But he managed to take each and every one of them out without too much trouble. He finally got to the last one, which managed to get a few shots out on him, before being impaled by Cid's weapon. Cid then found the stairs, and went up them.

---Mega Man, 4F---

Wood Man stood between Mega Man and the stairs. And he was the only thing. Mega Man, though a robot, actually smiled at his opponent. He then took out the Metal Blade, and fired several shots. Before Wood Man could actually use his leaf shield, his health was depleted by Mega Man.

"Argh! Why Can't I be harder?!" Wood Man shouted, as he exploded into several bits.

Mega Man then ran up the next stairs, ready for whatever Tartarus could throw at him.

---Yuna, 4F---

"Ahh.. Lady Yuna. So pleasant to see you again." A creepy voice said.

"Seymour!" Yuna yelled. "Rikku warned me you might be here."

"Of course! Tartarus and I share the same ambition. To be saviors of the world."

"I won't let you!" Yuna shouted. "Your way is NOT the right way!"

"Then come! Prove it, Lady Yuna!" Seymour said, laughing. "You can't stop me. Not without your guardians, Lady Summoner."

"That's HIGH summoner to you, Seymour. That's right. I rid the world of Sin for good. And I'm still alive!"

"Not for long..." Seymour said with a smile on his face.

"ANIMA!" Yuna shouted, calling forth the mummified Aeon. "Now you will feel the pain you set forth on others!"

Needles came raining down on Seymour, making him feel the same pain he had unleashed on Rikku. On others. Yuna watched as each and every needle pierced his body. She didn't smile. She didn't cry. She just watched. Pitying Seymour.

---Zack, 4F---

On the fourth floor, was a man that Zack had admired for a long time. Angeal Hewley.

"So I'm going to have to fight you again, Angeal?"

Angeal nodded. "I don't suppose... I'd convince you to throw down your sword and fight hand to hand?"

Zack shook his head. "And I don't suppose I could convince you to not fight me?"

Angeal shook his head as well. The two men ran at each other, Buster swords clashing against each other. Zack swung his blade again, and again, each time steel met with steel. The two fought each other as men, and as SOLDIERS.

"I looked up to you!" Zack yelled.

"I know." Angeal said back to him, his wing fluttering as he turned. "This has to end fast, if you want to make it to the next level."

"Yeah." Zack said.

Zack then flew up into the air, and began his famous Omnislash technique, bringing his sword down, making contact with Angeal's body several times. But even after all that, Angeal still stood. Zack did a back flip over Angeal, and stuck his sword in his former mentor, but Angeal pulled it out, and threw it down.

"It's not going to be that easy, Zack." Angeal told him. "Now we can fight hand to hand."

It was against Zack's better wishes to fight hand to hand. But he could do this. He punched Angeal, who in turn punched him back. The punches went back and forth, and back and forth until both men lay on the floor, collapsing from being out of energy.

"Almost there..." Angeal told him.

Angeal got up first, and went to punch Zack, but Zack grabbed the buster sword, and struck Angeal's fists with it. Zack then flung Angeal across the room with the buster sword. Angeal lay on the ground. "Finish me..."

---Cid, 4F---

"Looks like he's late." Reno said.

"Yeah." Rude said.

"Took you long enough, Cid."

"What the $*$ are you guys doing here?" Cid asked, not sure if he wanted the answer to that question.

"To stop you." Rude explained. "Orders. You know?"

"Who the %&$ gave that order?" Cid demanded.

"This tower." Reno explained. "Now let's get on with this."

Reno and Rude both approached Cid. Reno pulled out his rod, and began swinging it at Cid. Cid jumped over it, and then stuck his spear through Rude. Reno swung his weapon again, but Cid jumped over it again, and it missed and hit Rude instead.

"This isn't over yet!" Reno shouted. "Hey Rude... all we have to do is stall him, right?"

"Right."

"So you fight him for a while, and then I'll fight him for a while, got it?"

With that, Reno walked off to watch the battle in process. Rude punched at Cid, who in turn stabbed Rude with his spear. He then knocked him down, and ran for Reno.

"No fair fighting me, when you don't have him out for the count yet!" Reno said, and Cid could feel the punch Rude had just delivered to his back. This was going to be difficult.

---Mega Man, 5F---

"Congratulations! Get Equipped with BEAR-ly anything!" Teddie said. "Sorry, I've got nothing for you. But you can come back to the first floor now at least!"

And with that, Mega Man had made it to the barrier in time.

---Yuna, 4F---

The needles finished Seymour Guado off, and Yuna smiled. "You will be at peace now." she said, as she began dancing.'

"What are you doing?!" Seymour demanded. "You have to go to the next floor."

Yuna shook her head. "I have to send you. That... is my job as a summoner."

Yuna started performing the sending. She twirled her staff in a fashion that she hadn't in some time. She began dancing in a beautiful, yet sad fashion. Her dance continued, as she worked to send Seymour for the second time in her life. She held on to her staff, as she danced, sending the departed soul of Seymour from Tartarus.

"You'll lose, Lady Yuna!" Seymour said, trying to stay inside.

"I know..." Yuna said. "But if I can save Tidus from facing you... then maybe... just maybe he will be able to advance."

Yuna continued dancing, and Seymour began to fade.

--Zack, 4F---

Zack rushed at Angeal, and stabbed him one last time with the Buster Sword, sticking it through his torso, and making it go all the way through.

"Thank you..." Angeal said. "For ending my painful existence."

Zack pulled his sword out of Angeal. He looked at his lifeless mentor for a second. The stairs appeared where his body once was. Zack then proceeded up to the steps to the fifth floor, where the barrier was waiting for him.

---Cid, 4F---

Cid swung his spear around, knocking Rude out behind him. He then went for Reno, who swiftly jumped over Cid's spear. Cid then jumped into the air, and aimed his spear towards Reno. But Reno rolled out of the way, and then got back up.

"Our jobs done here." Reno said. "Let's go."

Reno began walking out of Tartarus. "Come on Rude. It's time."

Rude got back after him. Reno and Rude then left Tartarus. "Our jobs done. Two people have already advanced."

Cid was angry. He wanted to chase them. "Come back here you pieces of *$#&!" he yelled, as Fuuka teleported him back to the first floor.

---First Floor----

Back on the first floor, Zack was happy to see that he advanced. As was Mega Man. But Zack couldn't help but feel for Yuna.

"I'm sorry.." He told her.

"It's okay." Yuna said. "I was not meant to advance. I was only meant to go, so that those who have not been yet, would not have to face the same horror."

There was a sad smile on her face. Zack. Cid. and Even Mega Man could see it. It was clear that her love for Tidus was a lot stronger than Tartarus. It'd take someone like that to beat the tower. But she had willingly given up. And Tartarus may have just counted on that.

~*Post Match*~

The Locke, Celes, and Smoking Barret Bar was full for the first time in a while. There was a meeting that was there.

"Sephiroth was in the tower..." Zack told them. "I think I know my purpose here now."

"Sephiroth is my responsibility." Cloud said. "Let me take care of him."

Vincent shook his head. "He's all of our responsibilities. I don't know what he's planning. But it can't be good."

"$&%. Why's that damn fool gotta be here anyway?" Barret asked.

"Squall said he'd tell us if he found out anything." Vincent told them. "I'm sure he's planning something though."

Just then, Sephiroth walked in. Smile on his face. And right behind him was Liquid Snake. They were obviously up to something. But nobody knew what.

"I'd worry about the insane clown, if I were you." Sephiroth said, and then ordered a drink.

Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, VIncent Zack, Cid, and Barret all stared at Sephiroth for a moment.

"He's right you know." Celes said. "While you are here watching Sephiroth, Kefka is planning something more."

Celes was right. Kefka was the real danger. But everyone was too focused on Sephiroth to do anything. Everyone left the bar early that night to go to bed. Zack had advanced into the next round. The more people around to face Sephiroth the better. Though had Cid advanced as well, it would have been a better outcome. But until then...

Still at the bar, Sephiroth smiled. "How they don't know..." he said to himself. "That them ignoring Kefka... is all part of my plan."


	18. Xtreme

**Xtreme**

Everyone was getting used to their scheduled treks into Tartarus. At around 11:00 PM every night, the four assigned would get on the sub, and go to Tartarus. But tonight, something was off. Something was very off. Crash Bandicoot was there. Ryu Haybusa was there too. But there were... two master Chiefs.

"Uh.. whichever of you is Spy, please take off your disguise." Mitsuru said. "Otherwise, you won't have any support going in."

The Master Chiefs looked at each other. But neither budged on the issue. Then to confuse things further... a third master chief walked in.

"Whoa!" Master Chief said. "What's going on here?"

"Aha." Mitsuru exclaimed. "So it seems one of these is the imposter."

Both Master Chiefs shook their head furiously. But which one was spy?

"Alright." Mitsuru said. "If Spy doesn't show up immediately, then he's disqualified from the match."

"Alright, Fine." Said the last Master Chief that entered, pulling off his Disguise. "I was hoping to get ze Master Chief Disqualified, It was a brilliant plan, no?"

"So... then who's the other Master Chief." Mitsuru asked. The Chief on the left pulled his helmet off. It was... Soap MacTavish.

"I still get paid, right Spy?" Soap asked.

"Oui." Spy said. And the four real contestants were asked to advance to the second floor... and thus they did.

---Master Chief, 2F---

"So, Mr. Chief, tell me more about yourself," the psychiatrist said as he bounced his pencil on his mouth. He reclined back in his chair as he let his notepad rest on his lap.

"I, uhhh…" Master Chief looked around the ornate, fancy office. He wasn't sure how he got there; the last thing he remembered was going up the stairs to the second floor... "I have somewhere to be, sorry." Chief sat up and walked casually over to the fancy oak door. He tried opening it, but it was no use.

"No good, my friend," the psychiatrist said to the Chief as he smiled, "I'm afraid you're stuck here until you open up to me." He got up from his chair and walked over to the Chief. He extended his arm in a friendly gesture. "Tobias Fünke, analrapist."

"Excuse me?" Master Chief said, wide-eyed. (Or, at least, wide-visored.)

"I'm an analyst, and a therapist," Tobias smiled, "Analrapist. Get it?"

"I… I guess…" Chief said. He really didn't want to be in the same room as an analrapist. "One moment." Chief turned, and used his armored leg to kick the door as hard as he could. It didn't budge; it didn't even leave a mark!

"Ha! Sorry, buddy. But you're stuck here with me," Tobias said as he strode back over to his desk. "Relax. Have a cold one. Tell me _everything._"

---Ryu Hayabusa, 2F---

Ryu Hayabusa found himself in a way he never foresaw before. On a beach, and in a speedoIt was quite weird.

"Ryu!" Hayate said, also wearing nothing but a speedo. "So you were duped by Niki into coming here too?"

"What?!" Ryu demaned.

"Come on, let's just relax. Lay down, I'll give you a hot oil massage!"

Hayate forced Ryu to lay down face forward, and then mounted his back. Hayate then began rubbing hot oil all over Ryu's body in a sensual manner. "Do you want a strawberry?" Hayate asked.

Things on this island certainly were weird. Hayate fed Ryu a strawberry, and then got off his back.

"Come on, let's go play beach volleyall! If we win, I promise you can go to the next floor!"

So they went over to the beach, and found Leon and Bass Armstrong, who were also in Speedos. They got the volleyball out, and began to play.

Jumping up and down, their muscles showing. Ryu and Hayate managed to beat Bass and Leon 6-0.

"Good job! Are you sure you don't want to stay on Niki Island?" Hayate asked.

Ryu shook his head. The stairs appeared where the volleyball net once stood, and Ryu walked up the stiars, hoping he'd have his Ninja suit on, instead of a speedo.

---Spy, 2F---

"Don't move, maggot!" the Soldier yelled as he cocked his shotgun. He placed it against the cheek of the Spy, who was tied up on a post in the middle of the dusty fortress courtyard. He was surrounded by a RED member of each of the other eight classes.

"How in the hell did I get here…?" the Spy wondered in his sexy French accent. "Ah, I understand. You are not real, are you? A mere illusion of this tower, no?"

"Does this look real to you, puny man?" Heavy said as he pulled out a sandwich. He took a large bite, made loud "om nom nom" noises, and then spat it out onto the Spy's ski mask.

"I…" Spy managed to squeak out in his disgust, "suppose this is real enough. I am thankful you did not demonstrate by using the Sniper's Jarate."

"Compliment each class on what makes them the best there is at what they do. Or something like that," came the voice of the Announcer, the omni-presence that was present for all bouts between the RED Team and the BLU team.

"…And I suppose that is Tartarus taking the place of the lovely announcer," the Spy observed. "Simple enough. I am not a man who scoffs at an easily obtainable victory. Scout! Step forward, my strapping young friend."

"This better be good, you croissant eating son-of-a—"

"You have the voice of an eloquent and persuasive salesman. You could make a great splash in the business if you put your dashing good looks and charming personality to good use."

"Oh, uh… Thanks! I knew the world was ready for the next level of the Scout! The viewers will love me! And they're gonna love my nuts!"

"Did I mention how lovely your mother is?" the Spy grinned deviously, "Heavy! Come here, you loveable oaf…"

----Crash Bandicoot, 2F---

Crash found himself in an odd looking temple. And right behind him was... A GIANT BOULDER FOLLOWING HIM. Crash started running in the other direction as fast as he could. But the boulder kept coming after him. There wasn't much he could do. He turned back around to see what was behind him. But it was too late, the Boulder rolled right over him, and flattened him. Leaving him there.

---Master Chief, 2F---

"So, there's this girl, Miranda, and I think she has a thing for me," Chief told Tobias as he lay on the couch, "But I'm not sure. She seems kinda turned off by the genetically engineered super soldier thing. Captain America never got this crap; he always got a lot of tail when _he_ became a super soldier."

"So was that the reason you became a super soldier?" Tobias said as he took notes, "because you wanted to… get some tail?"

"No, I'm sure there's other reasons," Chief said, defending himself, "For one, I love the thrill."

"The… thrill?"

"Yeah, the thrill of crushing grunts. Weak little things… I just love stomping on them with my size twenty plated boots."

"Do you have any idea where this… 'thrill' originated from?" Tobias continued, intrigued.

"Well…" Master Chief said, thinking back."

---Ryu Hayabusa, 3F---

On the third floor, there were a lot of birds - lots and lots of birds. Ryu was pleased to discover however, he was back in his Ninja attire. Ryu slashed at the brids, cutting them in two, as he ran fast as he could, looking for the stairs. He fought more and more birds. They were so pesky, even if they couldn't do much to him. He sliced as many in half as he could. Finally, he found the stairs, and proceeded to the fourth floor.

---Spy, 2F---

"And Sniper, your parents may not accept you, but I do, as I have been thwarted many a time but your clever use of a jar full of urine," the Spy concluded, "which I never believe would have any use until I was eternally shamed by your bodily fluids. You are an artist."

"Well, thanks, mate!" Sniper said as he patted his crotch, "I'm quite proud of me bladder enhancement, yeah. I don't have to go for days if I don't drink anything."

"And that, as they say, is that." The Spy smiled. "Surely a record time."

"Close…" came the Announcer's voice, "but no cigar." With that, the Spy was released from his bindings, and a door to the next floor opened up.

"Then I guess I shall simply settle for a cigarette, no?" the Spy grinned fiendishly as he pulled out one of his hand rolled lights.

---Crash Bandicoot, 2F---

Crash was still flat as a pancake, lying on the floor. He needed help. But nobody was going to give it to him.

---Master Chief, 2F---

"And when I was ten," Chief continued, "All the kids used to pick on me, and one day, they found this injured bird on the ground, and they told me to kill it, and… and…"

"Go on, Chief," Tobias said as he handed Chief a box of tissues. The Spartan took one to his visor and blew his nose, which wasn't a smart idea in retrospect.

"I… I… I crushed it! It was so small and helpless! And I crushed it… Stepped on it… It was the first thing I ever killed…"

"Wonderful, Chief, wonderful," Tobias said as he clapped his hands together, "We're making some real progress here…"

"I even gave it a burial and named it!" Chief continued through his sobs, "Mister Violet Flowermuffins!"

"…Violet Flowermuffins."

"Yes, Violet Flowermuffins! I brought flowers to his grave every year."

"But you became addicted to the thrill, didn't you?" Tobias analyzed, "The thrill of killing small, insignificant creatures? But… at the same time, you honored the death of Mister Violet Flowermuffins, and it kept you from going to the dark side."

"Yes… yes! It all makes sense now!" the Chief continued, "Thank you so much, Doctor Fünke." Master Chief got up from the couch and went over to Tobias's desk to shake his hand.

"I believe you can leave, now," Tobias smiled. The door swung open, and a staircase was revealed…

--Ryu Hayabusa, 4F---

On the fourth floor, there were several spiders waiting for Ryu, and one Giant one. Ryu did a backflip, and sliced at the smaller spiders, Jumping out of their way as fast as he could, while still dodging the big one. He cut the smaller ones in two with his sword. He held them back, holding his blade up as a shield.

He continued jumping around the room, defending when he had to. He sliced as many small ones as he could. Slicing at the big one whenever he got the chance. ANd then finally allt he little ones were gone. Just the big one remained.

Ryu jumped, and sliced it, cutting one of it's limbs off. Finally, he got it where he wanted. He jumped up, and cut into it's head. The Larger spider fell down, and then Ryu cut it's head off. HIs job was done. The stairs appeared behind him, and he advanced to the fifth floor.

---Spy, 3F---

"Simple." Spy whispered as he dodged in and out of Sentry fire as he dashed between cover. "Elementary."

The Spy ran out from behind a corner and slid a Sapper under one of the Sentries. It short circuited and let out a puff of smoke.

"Sentry down!" yelled the Engineer as he took out his shotgun. But it was too late; the Spy was upon him and within seconds the Spy's knife was lodged somewhere between the two halves of the Engineer's brain.

"Child's play…" the Spy smirked once again as he lit up another cigarette.

---Master Chief, 3F---

**FOR MISTER VIOLET FLOWERMUFFINS!**" Chief yelled as he mowed down waves and waves of Grunts and Elites with nothing more than two plasma pistols. He carved a path to the stairway in record time. "It's all for you, Flowermuffins," Chief sniffled, "All for you."

---Spy, 4F---

"Has this tower run out of tricks?" the Spy scoffed as he strolled around the cruise ship. "A vacation? A leisurely trip to watch the whales! Perhaps some shuffleboard?!"

The Spy grabbed the shuffleboard stick from an elderly man and snapped it in half. "Do you wish to mock me, tower?!" He threw the two halves of the stick to the ground. "Is this the Titanic? Is that it? Not even an iceberg could take me down!"

"Well, it's a good thing that I'm a lot tougher than an iceberg…" came the manliest voice that the Spy had ever heard. He turned to the upper deck, to see a shirtless figure that was so ripped, so massive, that it eclipsed the sun.

"No…" The Spy said as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. His cigarette fell to the floor slowly.

"Yes!" the buff man cried as he jumped down from the top deck. He roundhouse kicked the Spy right over the side of the ship before the cigarette even had time to hit the ground. The Spy managed to turn and grab onto the side of the ship with one hand. As he hung on for his dear life, the man spoke:

"I'm Saxton Hale, and I'm about to beat you to death with my bare hands!"

~Master Chief, Fourth Floor~

"This… This is…" Chief looked around. It was his front yard; the same place where he crushed Mister Violet Flowermuffins all those years ago. He raised his plasma pistol, and treaded lightly.

Then, the Chief heard exactly what he expected to hear: a small chirp. He looked down, under the same tree that he had buried Mister Violet Flowermuffins under so many years ago, to see the small bluebird lying there with its wing crushed just as it did so many years ago.

"Hey! Look at the tiny little bird!" came a gruff voice from behind the Chief. He turned to find Tartarus, the large, ape-like leader of the aliens known as the Brutes, standing around threateningly with a huge gravity hammer. "Puny Chief! Why don't you kill that bird, and then maybe I won't take your lunch money!"

"I'm not puny!" Chief said as he pointed his pistol at Tartarus, "I'm the Master Chief! You're just some dumb ape!"

"Dumb ape who's way more popular than you!" Suddenly, Tartarus seemed to morph into some kind of amalgam between himself and Chief's childhood bully. He sported a leather jacket and cool greaser hair and shades. Chief looked down at his own body, and noticed that he now wore a pink shirt that read "UNICORN POWER!" and had on one of those striped hats with the propellers on top.

"Nice shirt," Tartarus smiled. "I'll tell you what: Crush that bird and I'll let you hang out with the cool kids at lunch this week. Sound good?"

Chief was filled with inner turmoil. He knew this wasn't how things were supposed to be; but things were so real. He looked down at Mister Violet Flowermuffins and knew that this was his only chance to set things right.

---Spy, 4F---

The Spy gasped for air as Saxton Hale lifted him up by the throat. "Once I'm done with you, you'll be convinced that your dignity **_does not exist!_**" Hale chucked the Spy right onto the shuffleboard course.

The spy reeled from the blow as he sat up and rubbed his throat. He looked up to find Hale already towering directly over him. "You… wouldn't hit a man who wears glasses, would you?" the Spy smiled as he quickly cloaked to a young black man with thick glasses, pants pulled too high and a red bow tie.

Hale kicked the Spy so hard that not only would the Spy's ancestors feel it, but God himself would, and even perhaps Cthulhu and Lord Xenu as well.

"DID I DO THAAAAT?" Hale smiled as he began to smack the Spy around even more.

---Crash Bandicoot, 2F---

Back on the second floor, Crash was on the floor still, flat as could be. Then chains started rattling. This startled Crash greatly. What was going on? He could then see a cloaked figure standing before him. Then, before he knew it, he could feel the life going out of his body. The Reaper had taken Crash's life. Tartarus had taken it's second victim. A poor, defenseless bandicoot.

The message was clear. Nobody was safe.

---Ze Spy, 4F---

"On your feet!" Hale commanded as he pulled the Spy off the ground. "It's time to fight like a man!"

"That'd be difficult, as you already ruptured several—"

"**SAXTON HAAAAAALE!**" yelled Saxton Hale as he punched the Spy hard in the stomach. The dashing rogue took several steps back and wiped the blood from his mouth.

"Fine then, let's dance…" said the Spy as he whipped out his knife.

"A knife?!" Saxton laughed, "I'm the five time world champion of Shaolin Drunken Knife Wrestling!"

The Spy ignored Hale's threat and charged at him with the knife raised. Hale simply caught the Spy's arm, punched him in the gut, and threw him up to the top deck without so much as an ounce of effort.

Hale jumped up to the deck (which was easily ten feet above him), frightening the old people even further, and walked over to the Spy, who was lying still on the ground.

"I guess that's the end of your story…" Hale smiled.

---Master Chief, 4F---

"…No." Master Chief said as he threw down his plasma pistol.

"What was that, geek-o?" Tartarus growled as he raised his gravity hammer.

"No!" Chief said as he stepped violently forward at Tartarus.

"Crush the bird!" Tartarus barked.

"**NO!**" Chief charged across the yard at Tartarus, who heaved his hammer over his shoulders and slammed it down. Chief braced himself as he was knocked back by the force, and right into the tree… causing him to land right on Mister Violet Flowermuffins.

"HA! Pathetic!" Tartarus said as he threw back his head and laughed.

The Chief looked up, filled with rage. He had failed to save his childhood friend. He had failed once more… "I need a weapon."

He dashed forward, but this time going so fast that he left large footprints in the freshly mowed grass. Tartarus brought down his hammer once again, but this time, Chief caught it with his armored hands.

Tartarus attempted to push down on the hammer and finish the Spartan, but it was no use. Chief pushed up so forcefully that it caused Tartarus to go flying backwards. The gravity hammer landed on the ground behind him. He scrambled to his feet to retrieve his weapon, but it was too late. Chief had already dashed behind him and claimed it as his own.

"What are you doing, Geek-O?" Tartarus hissed in a low voice.

"Finishing this fight!" Chief brought the hammer over his head and crushed Tartarus into a sticky pile of ape goo.

---**SAXTON HAAAAAAALE**, 4F---

Hale kicked the body to make sure it was true. The Spy was dead. Not that it was any big accomplishment; Saxton had killed hundreds of thousands – perhaps _millions_ of thousands – Spies in his lifetime. This Spy was just another number to him.

"Now that I've gotten that over with…" Hale smiled as he took off his hat, dusted it, and then placed it back atop his head, "I'd like a drink. Waiter! Where's the appletini I ordered before this Spy showed up to ruin my day?"

"Right behind you," came a familiar voice. Saxton turned, but it was too late. One of the old shuffleboard players pulled out a knife and stabbed Saxton right in the back.

"You… You…" Saxton squeezed out between his gasps for air.

The Spy de-cloaked and turned back to his normal, suave self. He held up his pocket watch; "Dead Ringer," he smiled. "Creates a dead duplicate of myself once I get hit after activating it. I believe this fight is over," the Spy smiled.

"Not… if anything to say about it… I have!" Hale said as he seethed. He reached back with both arms and managed to somehow choke the Spy while he was being backstabbed.

The Spy began to make gurgling noises and Saxton foamed at the mouth. The two were at a deadlock, but in the end…

…It was Hale that fell first. The Spy withdrew his knife and stabbed Hale again and again, until the founder of Mann Co. fell to the ground, gripped by the icy hands of death.

The Spy, shaking from his harrowing victory over Hale, took a cigarette from his jacket pocket. He lit it and calmly walked over to the side of the ship, admiring the sunset. Then, the Spy fell backwards, onto the ship's deck, unconscious. After a few minutes, he was teleported away, off the ship's deck, and back to the foyer.

~*Post Match*~

"Mister… Violet… Flowermuffins…" Marcus said as the tea overflowed in his cup. He realized what he was doing, and quickly put down the kettle and started to sop up what he had spilled.

"Yeah, it feels good to get these things off my chest," the Chief admitted as he also spilled tea while trying to drink through his visor. "You got a problem with that?"

"No! No!" Marcus smiled as he poured a new cup, "It's just that… I had one too. Mine was named Miss Petunia Sugarlumpkins."

Master Chief smiled as Marcus laughed. Obviously, there was more to the generic space marine than meets the eye.


	19. Horse What?

**Horse What?**

Laharl couldn't believe his luck. He was paired with two kids and a flat chested girl. This was going to be the easiest thing he ever did. He'd make his way to the barrier in no time. And then he'd break the barrier. And get to the top of Tartarus, and this'd all be over.

"Ahahaha! Just who does this tower think it is, trying to stop me?!" Laharl screamed.

"I will be your support for this trek into Tartarus, Laharl." Mitsuru said.

"I won't need you!" Laharl shouted.

He then sat forth into Tartarus, with his competition lagging behind him.

---Laharl, 2F---

On the second floor, Laharl found that he was back in the underworld. Tartarus sure knew how to make an overlord feel at home. But that wasn't going to stop Laharl from slaughtering the tower.

"Ohhhh Priiiince!" Etna shouted.

"What do you want?" Laharl asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh nothing. I just thought I'd tell you. If you want to advance to the second floor, you're going to have to...." Etna couldn't stop giggling.

"WHAT?!" Laharl demanded.

"You're going to have to show Floone that you love her. Ahahaha."

"WHAT?!" Laharl demanded again. No way was he going to show that former-angel Love. He wasn't capable of it. He was a demon lord. "Forget that! I'm going to be like Ganondorf, and just blast my way to the top!"

Etna shook her head. "Afraid that's not possible. Tartarus thought you might do that, so it took you to the underworld. Where there is no ceiling to blast through. Have a nice eternity! see ya! Sucker..."

With that, Etna left. And soon, came Laharl's challenge. The greatest challenge he'd face in his entire long life. Telling Flonne he loved her.

"Nin nin!" Flonne said, as she walked over to Laharl. This wasn't going to be as easy as he had hoped.

---Midna, 2F---

Midna found herself in a cold, dark cell. It was a prison again. the one place she didn't want to be.

"To proceed... you must be nice to Wolf-Link." a disembodied voice informed her.

That wouldn't be too hard. After all, through her journey she learned to be nice to Link. She even grew to like him. This would be the easiest thing ever. So she went over to the cell next to hers, and cut the Wolf's chain. She then got up on his back. "Alright, Link. Let's go to the next floor!"

And off they were.

---Neku, 2F---

The second floor was empty, except for the man in the suave outfit. Megumi Kitanji. The conductor of the game.

"How do I get to the next level?" Neku asked.

"You'll have to pay an entry fee." Megumi told him. "Your most prized possessions. Your friends. If you make it to the Top of the tower, they will be returned to you. If not...."

Neku understood what would happen. This would not be an easy decision. Could he make it to the top of the tower? Wasn't that the whole point of all of this? He wasn't sure what to do. Was Tartarus just testing his willingness? Or was it really going to make his friends disappear? He had to think, before he made a decision.

---Sora, 2F---

Sora found himself on a beach. In the sand below, his name was written, barely fading. And standing above it... was Kairi.

"Kairi!" Sora shouted.

"Sora!" Kairi shouted back.

The two ran into each other, and hugged. It had been a while since they had seen each other. Sora was happy to see her again. Was this real?

"Stay with me." Kairi said. "Please, Sora. Don't go."

Sora looked into her eyes. He didn't want to leave her behind. But the stairs to the next floor were right behind her. All he had to do was go up them. As much as he wanted to stay with her. For as long as he could. He knew that he'd have to go on.

"Sorry, Kairi." Sora said, smiling. "I'll see you when I'm finished here."

Sora then ran up the stairs, looking back to wave to Kairi. He could see that she was sad. "You won't forget me, I know. And I won't forget you!"

---Laharl, 2F---

"Is there something you want to say to me, Laharl?" Flonne asked.

Laharl cleared his throat, knowing that this was going to be hard. "Ilurveyou" he said.

"Hmm? I couldn't hear you. Slow down a little silly."

Was she seriously going to make him say it again? This wasn't fair! He had already said it once. Why would he have to say it again?

"I...lurve...you." barely came out of his throat.

"What's lurve?" Flonne asked, confused.

"Argh!" Laharl shouted. "I LOVE YOU ALRIGHT?!"

Flonne giggled. "That's the Laharl I know!"

"NOW LET ME GO TO THE NEXT FLOOR!" Laharl shouted. And the stairs appeared behind Floone, and Laharl dashed up them.

---Midna, 2F---

Midna found her job getting harder. This Wolf Link wasn't the Link she knew. He was... a stupid mutt. He never listened to her. When she said "Left", he went "Right". When she said turn around, he didn't. She was finding that it was getting harder and harder not to call this... mutt... names.

"Turn Right!" Midna said, trying to use reverse psychology on the wolf. But it didn't work. This time it went right when she told it to. It seemed to be doing this solely to piss her off. But she'd keep her cool. If she just stayed calm... she could pass this test. She could do this. She knows she could.

"Alright..." Midna said. "Lets turn around, please!" But the wolf still wouldn't listen. Midna's patience was wearing thin.

---Neku, 2F---

"Alright. I'll do it." Neku said. Knowing that if he wasted any more time, he'd have trouble reaching the barrier. Right now his biggest competition was Laharl. But Sora could be difficult as well.

Megumi laughed. "Very well. I have a feeling this game is going to be very entertaining."

The stairs appeared behind him, and Neku ran up them. Knowing that his failure mean that he might not see his friends again.

---Sora, 3F---

Sora found that only Heartless awaited him on the third floor -- and the keyblade was more than any match for any of them. He swung his keyblade, knocking them out of his way -- creating a path to the stairs. He was moving at speeds that were fairly high. Sora was highly motivated to get as far as he could. Finally he made his way to the stairs, with no heartless remaining on the third floor. He proceeded up there, wondering what he'd find on the fourth floor.

---Laharl, 3F---

"A bunch of Prinnies?!" Laharl shouted. "Ahahaha! Is this what this dumb tower sends to stop me, the great Laharl?"

The Prince then picked up one, and threw him in such a manner that cause a ripple of explosions throughout the third floor. Laharl then Jumped across the floor to the stairs, and tossed another Prinny the other way. Such that, the two explosions would meet each other, causing a bigger explosion. Laharl laughed as the prinnies exploded. After all they were just prinnies.

"DOOOOD!" he could hear one shout before it exploded.

Once they were all done, Laharl was satisfied with his work, and moved up to the fourth floor.

---Midna, 2F---

No matter where she told the wolf to go, he wouldn't listen. Except when she told him to go the wrong way, in which case he would listen. Her patience was still wearing thin. But she managed to keep her cool. It was the deal she had.

Then... she could see it! Out of nowhere, the stairs appeared. "Good puppy!" Midna said, as she patted him on the head. It seemed as if he wasn't going the wrong way all along. She just had to trust that he was going the right way. She then jumped off him. "See you later!" she said, before going up the stairs to the third floor.

---Neku, 3F---

Frogs. Several of them. That's all that was on the third floor. Neku created an electric charge around himself, and began running around the third floor searching frantically for the stairs to the next level. He couldn't waste his time with these frogs. His friends were counting on him. He looked wherever he could. East. South. North. West. But the stairs.. Where were they?! He had felt he already spent too much time on this floor. Finally... he found the stairs in the North East corner. He ran up them, hoping he wasn't too late.

---Sora, 4F---

Sora found himself in the Colosseum on the fourth floor. Before him was a Hydra. This was his obstacle... he could face this. He had done it before. He could do it again.

Sora pulled out his keyblade, and began dodging the Hydra's electrical attacks. They weren't easy to dodge. But he managed. When it lowered it's head enough, he began bashing it with his keyblade. Then when he saw his chance, he jumped up in the air, and began slashing at it's head. It's head then went into the ground.

"Senpai! Get up on the hydra's back!" Rise told him.

Sora followed Rise's instructions, and began bashing it's back. It pulled it's head out of the ground, and Sora jumped off and began bashing it's head again. Sora cut off it's first head. Then he repeated the process, and cut off it's second head.

"Get up on the hydra's back!" Rise told him, when the Hydra had it's head stuck in the ground again.

Sora jumped back off, and cut off two more of the Hydra's heads. With four down, only two were left. He kept bashing away at it's head, jumping on it's back, and forcing it down. Finally he cut off the final two heads, and the Hydra keeled over.

"Piece of cake!" Sora said, nodding to himself.

The stairs then appeared where the Hydra once stood, and Sora ran up them. Hoping he was in time.

---Laharl, 4F---

"What horrors await me here?" Laharl wondered aloud.

"I'm a zombie!" shouted the Zombie. "I have the fists of a Dark Karate master... the legs of the fastest demon in the netherworld. The brain of Mahogany, a famous sorcerer... the iron body of Hercules. AND A HORSE WIENER!"

"A hose wiener?! Now THAT's Dangerous! I'm going to have to take this out fast!" Laharl said to himself.

Laharl jumped into the air, and unleashed his most powerful attack on the Zombie. Despite it having the fastest legs in the netherworld. The brain of a great sorcerer. AN iron body. And all of that good stuff. Laharl's best attack still cleaved it in two without any trouble.

"Hmm... AHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was a piece of cake." Laharl said. The stairs then appeared in front of him, and he proceeded up them.

---Midna, 3F---

There were several Keese on the third floor, waiting for Midna. But she managed to warp all of them out of Tartarus with a single move. Nothing difficult for her. She waltzed up the stairs to the fourth floor, wondering if it'd pose any challenge to her.

---Neku, 4F---

"So Zetta slow.." So Minamimoto said, as Neku arrived on the fourth floor. "You are 2 times 1 late, ya fractal!"

"NO!" Neku said. "But... my friends!"

"Who gives a digit?" Sho asked. "Care equals X. X is less than Zero."

"Sorry, Neku!" Teddie said. "Looks like I'll be bringing you back to the first floor."

And with that, Neku had failed. He had hoped that Tartarus would at least return his friends. Or have never taken them.

---Midna, 4F--

Zant was on the fourth floor, and Midna was ready to take him out. But unfortunately, time was up.

"Midna! You have to return to the first floor!" Fuuka said.

"Grr... dumb furball!" Midna yelled. It had all been because of Wolf Link taking too long to find the stairs. Zant laughed at her, as she was transported back to the first floor.

---First Floor---

Back on the first floor, Mitsuru explained that Laharl and Sora would be going to the next level. Laharl had wished he had time to destroy the barrier. He was shocked to learn that he was just the second to arrive on the fifth floor. And that of all people, Sora got there ahead of him.

"Mitsuru. Do you know if my friends...?" Neku asked.

Mitsuru shook her head. "Apparently Tartarus was very serious about that."

Neku felt down. He should have turned Tartarus down at the start. What could he do now...

~*Post Match*~

"Hey, relax Neku. We'll help you find your friends, right Roxas?"

Roxas nodded. "Of course!"

"Thanks, guys."

"I'm Axel, you've got it memorized right?"

Neku laughed. "I'd never forget it. I have a photographic memory after alll."

"Well... if we don't find your friends before all this is over. Come and find me. We'll find them then."

Neku relaxed a little. Hopefully he could find his friends before they left. Or earn them back in some way. His competition made their way to the top floor too quickly. If he had just had a little more time... he might could have made it. But then again. Maybe not. Was he foolish to make that deal? At this point in time, he couldn't help but feel that he was.


	20. Well Done

**Well Done**

Once again, there were three villains going into Tartarus. And the supports were nervous. Mr. Kyabetsu's idea of who goes into Tartarus when, certainly wasn't a good one.

Fuuka was given the easier of the three villains -- Bowser. He seemed like a nice guy deep down. Kind of. He wasn't all bad in any case. He just liked Kidnapping Princesses.

Rise, who had lucked out the last time, got the worst pick this time -- Kefka. The insane clown gave Rise the creeps. And for the first time ever, she kept quiet when meeting the person she'd be supporting.

Teddie was asked to support Arthas, which he wasn't too sure of. So long as he kept his Ice Puns to a minimum...

Mitsuru was the one that lucked out this time -- supporting Frog.

The three villains and Frog proceeded to the second floor, as the supports cautiously proceeded with their jobs.

---Kefka, 2F---

Kefka found himself back in Vector, the imperial capital. What was he doing here? And what was this dumb tower planning?

Emperor Gestahl approached him. "Kefka. If you want to proceed, you'll have to go through an entire dinner with the Returners, without saying a word."

"Ehehehehe! I can keep quiet! Oh this'll be rich!"

With that, Gestahl lead Kefka to where they'd be dining. None of the Returners there he recognized. The old man Bannon was there. But along with him weren't the self-help book writers that he normally dealt with.

Dinner began, and Gestahl explained that the empire was willing to work with the returners. Throughout his speech, Kefka kept quiet. The returners in turn, asked how they could trust the empire. Kefka stared at his steak. It was rare. He HATE HATE HATE HATE HATED rare steak. But he couldn't say anything about it either. This wasn't as easy as he had hoped.

Then it struck him -- and he struck the Returners down with a powerful lightning spell. "Ehehhehe! Looks like this was entertaining after all. I'm ready for the next floor."

"YOU FAILED!" Gestahl yelled.

"But I didn't say anything! Ehehehe. That was the deal!" Kefka said.

He was right. He didn't say anything until after the dinner was over. All because the dinner was over because he killed everyone. Gestahl realized he should have specified NOT to kill anyone. After all this was Kefka they were talking about. The path to the second floor opened up, and Kefka went up, ready to destroy whatever else lay in his path.

---Bowser, 2F---

Bowser found himself in his own castle on the second floor. "Gwahaha! Home!" Bowser said. Now this was more like it. He had been told Tartarus held many horrors for him. But this? This was amazing.

And sitting on his throne... was Princess Peach. In a string-bikini! Bowser couldn't believe his eyes! Peach was even smiling. But something didn't seem right. This was spy again, Bowser thought to himself. It had to be.

"Stay with me, Bowser!" Peach said.

"No!" Bowser shouted. "This is a trick! You're just Spy again! Gwah!"

Peach got up from Bowser's throne, and shook her head. "No Trick, I promise!"

She then pushed Bowser into his throne, and sat in his lap. "Don't you want to stay with me?"

"O--of course I do!" Bowser shouted. "But you're not real!"

"Don't I feel real?" Peach asked. "I am real!"

"You're just the spy tricking me!" Bowser shouted, pushing Peach off his lap, and running up the stairs to the third floor.

"I wonder what his problem is?" Peach asked. "Didn't he want to stay with me?"

---Arthas, 2F---

"Boy, it sure is _chilly_ in here!" Arthas said as he strode up to the second floor.

"Ugh! That wasn't even a pun!" Teddie said as he put his furred hand to his furred head. "Listen, all you have to do on this floor is—"

"Man, it sure is getting _cold._"

"Those are terrible!"

"Hey!" Arthas called up to his Tartarus aid, "I'm practicing! One day I'll be better than that Sub-Zero guy!"

"You have to learn to do these things on the fly! Otherwise it's just—"

"It's like there's a _blizzard_ passing through!"

"STOP! STOP!" Teddie yelled. "TARTARUUUUUS!"

"Whaaaat?" Tartarus piped up. "I was napping. Did Arthas beat the second floor yet?"

"No! He keeps making ice puns! It's unbearable!" Teddie complained.

"Oh, really? Hmph…" Tartarus began to ponder. "Then we shall change the rules of this floor. Arthas, make a "cool" ice pun and I'll let you pass."

Arthas thought to himself for a few minutes. Snow began to fill the room around him. He wasn't all that sure if he could think of a good ice pun. After all, he was new to this "wit" thing. Arthas sat on the ground as he continued to search for the perfect pun.

---Frog, 2F---

"I will not!" Frog shouted at Cyrus. "I cannot risk mine honor!"

"But thou must!" Cyrus said. "If you don't allow me to kidnap Queen Leene, you won't be allowed to proceed."

"And why would thy kidnap the Queen, Cyrus? What hath gotten into you?!"

"This is a test, Glenn. If you pass it.... you'll be allowed to move on."

"Then if it be a test, it be a test of thine honor! You shall not pass!"

Cyrus laughed. "That's always how you were, Glenn. Never willing to submit. But you must understand. If I don't kidnap the queen, Crono and his friends will never come back in time to save her. And then worse things will happen."

"That art a risk I'm willing to take!"

"So be it." Cyrus said. "You'll be stuck here. Forever. Or at least until the Reaper comes."

---Kefka, 3F---

When Kefka got to the third floor, and saw that there were Imperial Soldiers waiting for him, he laughed. "Ehehehehe. This is going to be fun! Run Run or you'll be well done! Ehehehe! What fun is destruction if no 'precious' lives are lost!"

He then prepared the most powerful spell in his entire arsenal, and filled it with all of his hate. He then blasted not only every soldier in the room, but every single wall as well. The walls, and soldiers both fell.

With that, he just walked up the stairs to the next level. He was certainly a force to be reckoned with.

---Bowser, 3F---

"Gwahahah! A bunch of Toads? Really? Oh that's rich! Gwahaha, like those puny mushroom brats can stop me!"

Bowser then walked through the third floor, stomping on every Toad he came into contact, smashing them all. Bowser's size was more than enough to crush them in a single jump. They were to him, as Goombas were to Mario. He couldn't believe they actually had the gall to try to attack him.

"I'm thunder in a bottle! I'm an earthquake in a can!" he said, as he bounced up and down, unable to find the exit. Soon enough, he could see it, and walked up the stairs to the fourth floor. So long as Mario wasn't waiting for him there, he'd have things made, he thought as he went up the stairs.

---Arthas, 2F---

"I've got it!" Arthas exclaimed after minutes of silence. Teddie and Tartarus both sprung from their naps and listened intently.

"I have _snow_ many puns for you!"

Teddie rolled his eyes.

"_Snow_ down! I don't have a sleigh!"

Tartarus rolled his eyes so far back that they went completely into his non-existent head.

"_Icy_ what you did there!"

Teddie put his head on the view screen with his eyes closed, praying that it'd be over soon.

"Are these puns making you _ice-sick-cle_?"

"Yes, they are." Tartarus piped up. "One more shot, Arthas. Make it good."

Arthas began to sweat a cold sweat. He had one pun left, but he wasn't sure if it was good. It was his big gun, but more of a water gun than anything.

---Frog, 2F----

Cyrus had stopped trying to convince Frog to let him kidnap Queen Leene. Frog's Honor just would not let him allow the princess to be kidnapped.

Then.. something possessed Cyrus. Perhaps it was his true spirit, rather than just a personification created by Tartarus.

"Sorry, Glenn. This is for your own good.' Cyrus said, before knocking Frog out, and rushing over and kidnapping Queen Leene.

"I have the Queen." Cyrus told Tartarus. "Now allow Glenn to move on."

The stairs appeared, but Frog was still knocked out. When he came too, he wondered what had happened. But he didn't question it. He saw that the Queen was no longer there. He had failed once again. But he had a feeling... if he went up the stairs to the third floor, he might be able to save her.

---Kefka, 4F---

Waiting for Kefka on the fourth floor, was Emperor Gestahl.

"Ehehehe, what are YOU doing here?" Kefka asked.

"I'm here to stop you, Kefka." Gestahl said. "It was foolish of me to allow you to have so much power."

"Ehehehe! You think YOU can stop me?!" Kefka demanded. "NOTHING CAN STOP ME!"

"Bolt 3!" The emperor called out. "Fire 3! Ice 3! Meteor!"

But none of it was affecting Kefka. Kefka just stood their laughing. "Foolish Emperor! I MOVED THE STATUES! DID YOU FORGET THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN!?"

"Then I guess I have no other choice..." The Emperor said. He then summoned the three statues in front of him. "I will bring order back to this world!"

"Pathetic!" Kefka yelled. "You think you can bring order back to what I destroyed? What use is it? Nothing lasts forever! You wanted an empire. What good is an empire? What good are people? We have no need for such things! The world doesn't belong!"

Gestahl began to try to move the statues.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Kefka said, casting a spell of Bolt 3 on him. "I'm not going to make this easy on you!"

Gestahl got back up, and once more tried to move the statues. But this time, Kefka cast a Fire 3 spell on him. Once again the Emperor fell.

"I'm going to do this!" the emperor shouted.

"Why so serious?" Kefka asked. "You can't stop me. You don't think you can, do you? Oh, that's rich! You stop ME! eheheh!"

Gestahl once again tried to move the statues. But they were too heavy for his old and fragile body.

"Time to finish this, OLD MAN!" Kefka yelled, laughing madly. He then cast Ultima, and the emperor fell down. Kefka then kicked Gestahl off of Tartarus, and the stairs to the fifth floor appeared in front of him. He stood for a moment, laughing at what he had just done, before proceeding up to them.

---Bowser, 4F---

Bowser walked up to the middle of the seemingly empty floor. And then out of nowhere, a man in a top hat appeared.

"Bleh HEH HEH HEH BLECK!! I see you've come at last"

It was Count Bleck!

"Get out of the way, Shrimp!" Bowser shouted. "I have to go to the fifth floor!"

"Count Bleck does not care about what you want!" Count Bleck shouted. "Are you prepared, Bowser? Our duel will be worthy of the last clash you will have in Tartarus!'

Bowser tried jumping on top of Bleck's hat, but a barrier stopped him from jumping on him.

"How laughable! Is that all the power you can muster? Let me show you true power!"

Count Bleck then started messing with the very fabric of the third dimension.

"I'm going to pulverize you!" Bowser shouted. He then used the power of the True Hearts that he had left over, and broke Bleck's barrier.

Bowser then jumped around, as Bleck appeared, and reappeared. Bleck's magic was powerful, but Bowser wasn't going down easy. He could handle this. Or at least, he hoped so. Count Bleck sucked him into a dimensional vortex, and spun his body around, until he was dizzy.

He continued doing it, hurting Bowser as much as he could. Once released, Bowser got close again, and this time breathed fire on Bleck before he could suck him into the vortex. He then jumped on his head. Bleck disappeared and reappeared at the other end of the floor again. He then began sucking everything from the 3D world into his vortex. Including Bowser!

---Arthas, 2F---

"Go on, Arthas," Tartarus continued.

"Yeah! Show us what you got!" Teddie taunted.

"Fine! Fine!" Arthas piped up, "I just have one thing to say…"

Teddie and Tartarus leaned in. There's was no way this could be _that_ bad…

~Arthas Menethil, Second Floor~

Arthas took a deep breath…

"_Ice_…"

Teddie and Tartarus held their breath.

"—talavista, baby."

Arthas was suddenly flung up by a giant spring that was hidden under his feet. He crashed right through the walls of Tartarus and was flung into the night.

---Frog, 3F---

Frog discovered that all that stood between him and the Queen, was a few mystics on the third floor. That... Frog could handle! Frog pulled out the Masamune. It shone brightly as he wielded it in his hand. "By mine honor, I will defeat you all!"

He then began slicing through each and every one of them. Hopping over as many as he could, before slicing their limbs into pieces. He cast some water spells as he went along, facing no trouble from this floor. He finally made it to the end of he third floor, where the stairs to the fourth awaited him. On the next floor... would be his chance to save the Queen.

---Bowser, 4F---

Bowser held on as long as he could, as the vortex sucked everything in. Eventually Bleck had to release his hold on everything, leaving him vulnerable. Bowser ran as fast as his feet would carry him towards Bleck. He then burnt him with fire, and jumped on his head, and repeated this process a second time. After that, Bleck was knocked out cold, and disappeared back into the second dimension.

"Gwahaha, That was easy!"

---Frog, 4F---

Frog could see the Queen. And the one holding her, was Flea.

"So the little Frog has come at last!" Flea said.

"I don't want to fight a woman." Frog said, "But if I must!"

"I'm a MAN!" Flea shouted.

Frog drew the Masamune, as Flea began casting a charm spell. Frog dodged the spell, and then rushed at Flea, slashing him with the sword. "Take that, you foul woman!"

"I TOLD YOU THAT I AM A MAN!" Flea yelled loudly.

Frog then cast a Water spell on Flea, before striking him again with his sword. Flea then prepared another spell, but before he could, it appeared time was up.

"Sorry, Frog. It looks like time's up." Mitsuru informed him. His battle was over. He wouldn't make it to the next round. He wouldn't even get to save the Queen.

"Sorry, Mine Liege. I was unable to protect you..."

"Aww, the widdle fwoggie has to go!" Flea said, laughing. "Couldn't even beat me. How pathetic!"

Frog was then transported back to the first floor.

---First Floor---

"As much as it pains me to say this..." Mitsuru said. "It looks like Kefka and Bowser will be advancing."

Frog couldn't believe that two villains were advancing. Nor could Mitsuru, Rise, or the other supports. It was disappointing. They had hoped that they wouldn't have to support more villains in the next round. But it appeared... that would be impossible to avoid.


	21. Use the Synergy

**Use the Synergy**

HK-47 assessed his competition.

Elle Block. Contortionist. Capable of twisting her body in ways only imaginable. Female meatbag. Found highly attractive by Male meatbags. Threat Level: High

Isaac. Synergy-user. Think, Jedi. Capable of moving objects with the power of his mind. Male meatbag. Threat Level: Medium

Professor Layton. Professor. Capable of solving puzzles. Threat Level: Very Low.

He realized that his true threats were Elle and Isaac. He'd have to do everything he could if he were to beat these meatbags.

---Elle Block, 2F---

Elle found herself on the second floor wearing only a bikini.

"You must cross the floor, holding your feet in your hands." A disembodied voice told her.

So she complied. She laid on stomach, and then lifted her legs behind her, and over her head. She then grabbed her feet, and placed them on the floor. She hopped, butt in the air, towards the stairs, and up them.

"Very impressive." The disembodied voice said, as she got to the 3rd floor.

---HK-47, 2F---

"Query. How do I get to the second floor?" HK-47 asked.

"You must make it across the marketplace without killing a single meatbag." a merchant told him. "If you kill someone, the stairs will never appear."

This made HK-47 very unhappy. There were several meatbags worth killing here. A hobo begging for money at the street corner. A prostitute selling herself to whoever was pathetic enough to require her services. A guy with a strange looking hat. But he had to carry on.

Not killing anyone was harder than he thought. The mere idea that there were many meatbags here that he wouldn't get the chance to commit needless wanton violence on made him die a little inside. But what fueled him was knowing that on the third floor... plenty of meatbags to destroy would be available.

Finally, he made it to the stairs. "Statement. that wasn't TOO bad."

---Isaac, 2F---

"Isaac!" Jenna said. "Behind this rock is the staircase to the next floor. But you can't use Synergy to move it."

It was then that Jenna disappeared. Isaac wasn't sure why he wasn't supposed to use Synergy. He just knew that he couldn't. He trusted Jenna. So he began trying to push the rock. It was heavy. It weighted at least two ton. Synergy would have made it easily movable.

He continued pushing it. After a couple of minutes, it finally budged. He kept pushing with all of his strength. It would budge half an inch every now and then. He had all of his strength into it, and it was finally moved a couple of feet. Enough for Isaac to slip past, and up the stairs to the next level.

---Professor Layton, 2F---

Standing before Layton was a man who looked to be in his mid-30's.

"I have a puzzle for you." The man explained. "Rather a riddle. If you don't know the answer, you may give up."

Layton nodded. This was his specialty. There wasn't a riddle that Professor Layton couldn't solve!

"What lies in the shadow of the statue?" The man asked.

The Professor thought for a moment. It was one that he certainly hadn't heard before. The answer wasn't immediately obvious. What could lie in the shadow of the statue? Was the wording used correctly? Was it what LIES in the shadow of the statue? It was a riddle, that he'd have to give much thought to. But he wasn't ready to give up. Not by a long shot.

---Elle Block, 3F---

On the third floor, was a maze made of tetriminoes. And chasing Elle down were Square Blocks. She immediately shot two square blocks, one on each side, out of her finger. She smiled as she did so. When they connected, they all disappeared and moved out of her way.

Each turn she made, she was faced with similar Square Blocks. None of them were hard to take out. Just a couple of shots from her Tetrimino finger, and they were gone like they were never there.

She could shoot them out fast enough, to make several rows before they even got close. "A thousand points!" she said, giggling happily.

Finally she found the stairs, and made her way up them. Just what was lying in wait for her on the fourth floor.

---HK-47, 3F--

"Statement. I LOVE THIS FLOOR!" HK-47, as he saw a bunch of meatbags with blasters. He began shooting at them, cutting their legs off, and doing other needless wanton violence to them. He took his time enjoying each and every kill. Shooting them in the head. Blowing them up. And other various means that he had learned over the many years. Even some he had never used before. He looked through every nook and cranny, to find any stragglers that might have made it past him.

Finally, he found the stairs.

"Statement. That was very therapeutic."

HK-47 felt much, much better. And he was ready to go to the next level. But only because no meatbags remained on this one.

---Isaac, 3F---

The third floor had several wild mushrooms for Isaac to fight. He managed to slash through most of them with his sword. He knew he had little time. The droid HK-47 was getting ahead of him. Elle was certainly not to be underestimated. And he wasn't sure what Layton was capable of. Or what he'd have to face.

Isaac felt stronger after pushing that boulder. No enemy was going to stand in his way -- and none were capable of putting up much of a fight doing so. Finally, he came to the stairs, and went up to the fourth floor.

---Professor Layton, 1F---

What Lies in the Shadow of the statue? It was a riddle that still vexed Professor Layton. Where in was the answer?

First he had to figure out what the riddle was asking.

Was it asking, "What lies in the shadow of the statue", as in what is it, that tells lies in the shadow of the statue? Or was it asking "What is it that lies in the shadow of the statue?"

Second, he had to figure out what statue. Layton figured that it would be any statue. After all, the riddle would be unsolvable if it meant a specific statue, without mentioning what statue it was. The riddle was certainly most perplexing. And he knew he was running out of time. But Professor Hershell Layton never gives up!

---Elle, 4F---

Elle wasn't sure what would be on the fourth floor for her. She was still in the bikini she wore for the previous two floors. She wasn't sure what Tartarus's idea was, but she liked it. Then she saw a face she hadn't saw in some time... her cousin.. Tee.

Tee was Elle's twin cousin. Like Elle she was blonde, nimble, and capable of contortions. She was also wearing a revealing Bikini.

"Come on, Cousin. Let's get down and dirty. See if you can't beat me."

Tee then pushed her Elle into the hot oil pit. And Tee jumped in after her.

"What are you, lesbian?" Elle asked.

Tee shook her head. "I go both ways, baby."

The two girls then got into a cat fight. Tee pulled Elle's hair. Elle pushed Tee down, and crawled on top of her. Tee grabbed Elle's sides and wrestled her into the oil. Every time they made contact, their hands would slip off each others oily bodies.

Both girls got on their knees, and reached around to grab whatever they could to hold on to the other. Tee pulled Elle down, but Elle laid on top of Tee, trying to grab her and pin her down. They went for each others shoulders, but Tee slipped out when Elle went down. Tee then got behind Elle, and grabbed on to her back.

Tee held on tight, trying to choke Elle, but Elle slipped out of the hold thanks to the oil. Tee then tried using her legs to pull Elle back, but Elle fell flat on her stomach. Tee crawled on top of Elle, pinning her down. Elle tried twisting and turning to get Tee off of her. She even tried lying on her back, facing Tee. But it didn't work. No matter how much she kicked her legs, Tee's legs were holding her down.

"Grr! This is why I never go to family reunions!" Elle shouted.

Elle momentarily was able to get back up, but Tee pushed her back down, facing the other way this time. Elle attempted to kick Tee, but Tee inched her way up Elle's body. Elle pushed her off, and got the upper hand. She then pushed Tee on her back, and inched her way up Tee's body the way Tee had done to her earlier.

Tee pushed Elle away by her shoulders, and then the two switched places again. Tee was back on top, trying to pin Elle's hands down. Elle kept fighting back, even with Tee on top of her. Elle managed to finally push Tee off of her, and made her way back on top. She tried holding Tee's shoulders down, while pinning her arms down. She finally managed to do so without the oil causing her to slide off.

"Say Uncle, *****!"

"Uncle, *****!" Tee said.

"Quit, or I'll... do the same thing to you I did to Aunt C."

"ALRIGHT UNCLE!" Tee called out.

And Elle let her cousin up off the ground. Elle got up as well, and slid a couple of times, before getting out of the oil pit. When she finally did, she carefully walked up to the fifth floor, trying not to slip.

---HK-47, 4F---

On the fourth floor... was a small green meatbag in Jedi robes waiting for HK-47.

"Query: Is this midget the best that the tower can do?"

"Judge me on my size, do you hmmm?" the Jedi asked. "Big mistake, I think."

"Query: Who are you?"

"Call me Yoda, they do. A Jedi, I am."

HK-47 analyzed Yoda.

Yoda. Jedi Master. Hundreds of years old. Species unknown. Threat Level: OH ****!

HK-47 shot at Yoda, hoping to get a quick kill, but the Jedi Master deflected the blaster shot with his Lightsaber. 47 shot off another blast, and this time Yoda did a back flip to avoid it. HK-47 kept firing at the Jedi master, with more and more rapid succession. But Yoda jumped over him, and behind him.

Yoda sliced off HK-47's gun arm, and then sliced off his other arm, before jumping back over him.

"Commentary. That's not fair!"

"Fair, hmmm?" Yoda asked. "Fair, was it, when you shot at me, when Unarmed I was?"

"Mockery. Apparently, yes."

HK-47 started running towards the Jedi master. He tried tackling him, but Yoda just jumped over him.

"Too slow, is this one hmmm?"

HK-47 struggled to get back off the floor, and Yoda sliced off one of his legs with his lightsaber.

"Now, closer to my size you are hmm?" Yoda said, as he sliced off HK-47's second leg.

"Statement. The threat assessment system needs an update. Threat Level: No ****ing Chance"

---Isaac, 4F---

"Felix!" Isaac said, as he arrived on the fourth floor.

"If you want to pass, you're going to have to fight me." Felix told him.

"Alright... but I'm not going easy on you." Isaac told him.

The two clashed swords. Isaac used the power of synergy to push Felix back, and then rushed forwards, slashing at his face. Isaac parried with his blade, and then jumped back. Isaac too jumped back, and the two began to push each other back with the power of Synergy.

Neither were budging more than an inch, holding their place well. Isaac put all of his focus into it, and Felix finally started going back at a faster pace. Isaac was finally able to hold on, and push Felix over. With Felix on his back, Isaac ran up to him, and struck Felix's torso with his blade. Felix pushed Isaac back with Synergy, but only a couple of feet. Isaac slid towards Felix, and once again struck at his torso, this time hitting him.

Isaac then pushed Felix back using Synergy, and jumped to Felix's position. He placed his sword, point down, over Felix's head.

"Do it." Felix said.

"Surrender." Isaac told him.

"Never!"

Isaac brought his sword down on Felix's head. Felix lay lifeless on the floor. And the stairs appeared behind Isaac. Without looking back, he proceeded up them.

---Professor Layton, 2F---

Layton still hadn't solved his riddle. It had perplexed him more than any puzzle ever had. There had to be a solution, but he didn't see it. He looked around the room, hoping to find more information, or some inspiration. But he found nothing.

"Time is up." The man said. "I'm afraid that two have already reached the barrier."

"Pardon me," Professor Layton said. "But what =was the solution?"

"The solution was to give up." The man told him. "Without more information, you could not have solved the riddle."

Layton felt foolish. He could have went to the next level, if his pride would have let him. Giving up would have been the only way to solve the puzzle. He couldn't believe it was the one thing he didn't think of.

With that, Layton was transported back to the first floor.

---First Floor---

HK-47 found himself on the first floor. Missing his limbs still.

"Isaac and Elle will be advancing to the next round. Yamagishi. Kujikawa. Can you take HK-47 to the Infirmary?"

"Sure thing, Senpai!" Rise said, as the two carried HK-47 off to the infirmary to get fixed.

~*Post Match*~

"There, that should do it." Naomi said, affixing the last of HK-47's limbs back on his body.

"Commentary. Though I do not like meatbags, I am somewhat happy that you fixed me."

Naomi Hunter laughed. "Always have to have a tough guy image, huh?"

"Course he does!" said a voice.

It was HK-47's Roommate, Duke Nukem.

"Mockery. Oh look, it's Puke Nukem."

"Hah, Good one. So little buddy. You got your ass kicked by that big bad tower huh? Well don't worry, the king will kick that sorry tower's ass."

"Commentary. I seriously doubt that."

"Don't worry. Just cause a green midget kicked your ass, doesn't mean you should feel bad. Hell. Green midgets can be pretty scary. But not to the duke, baby! I've got this. Tell him Dr. Sexy."

"Don't call me that." Naomi said.

"Query. If he's ever put in the infirmary.. could you hurt him. Please?"

Naomi laughed. "I'll think about it.

"Oh! You like it rough, huh baby?" Duke said. "The Duke can dig it!"

"Your match is tomorrow, by the way." Naomi informed him. "I was asked to tell you if I saw you. The higher ups had trouble finding you."

"Oh crap!" Duke said. "I better go get my Beauty Rest. See ya later little buddy!"

With that, Duke ran back to his dorm, eagerly awaiting his turn to go into Tartarus.


	22. Hot Stuff

**Hot Stuff**

"Come on, give me some sugar!" Duke said to Rise, who was assigned as his support.

"Alright, Senpai!" Rise said, handing him a stick of gun.

"...Not what I was hoping for. But it'll do." Duke said, sticking the piece of gum in his mouth.

Duke, Flannery, Tails, and Kratos all were going into Tartarus. They were all as well prepared as they can be.

---Flannery, 2F---

It was nice, and sunny outside. Flannery found herself on a warm tropical beach, outside of a changing area. There was a blue bikini hanging on the door, with a sign telling her to change into it. She obeyed the sign, and slipped into the Bikini.

"Ahh! This is the life!" Flannery said. "They need a beach at the castle... that'd be nice."

She walked on the beach, feeling the warm sand between her toes. It was nice. "Come on out, Charizard!" she said, lifting her pokeball. Tartarus was feeling a lot more like a vacation, than what Rikku had described it to her.

"To proceed..." came a voice. "You must get Charizard to go for a swim!"

Charizard didn't like the sound of that one bit. He ran away from the ocean waves, as Flannery chased after him. "Come on, Charizard!" she pleaded.

She called him back into his pokeball, and then got into the water. She then called him out.

"It's not that bad, see?" she told him. She began petting him. "I know you don't like water. But it's not too bad. You can do this."

Charizard shook his head. He didn't want to get into the water. She kept petting him, hoping to show him that he could trust her. It took a while, but he finally agreed to go for a swim. The two got into the water, and began walking further in slowly. Soon they were completely swimming. When Charizard had swum for a whole minute, the stairs appeared back on the beach. The two swam back to shore, and Charizard dried himself off. Flannery went to go get changed, but found that the dressing room had disappeared. She'd have to wear her bikini to the second floor.

As she and Charizard went up to the next floor, both had overcome a big obstacle, and were ready for whatever they had to face next.

---Duke Nukem, 2F---

The second floor was a strip club, filled with beautiful women in revealing clothing. All of them taking their clothes off. Duke was in heaven!

"Duke." A sexy British voice came behind him.

Duke turned around, and saw the biggest pair of boobs he had ever seen -- at least in the last week. He couldn't help but stare at them.

"My name is Lara Croft. I"m here to give you one hundred dollars. That should do you. There's a twenty dollar charge to go to the next floor."

Duke was still drooling. "Thanks." he said.

"If you need any more money, just come back and see me. But you shouldn't have t---"

And like that, Duke went to the nearest stripper, and stuffed her thong with all $100.

"Can I get some more?" Duke whined.

"This is going to be one hell of a night." Lara said to herself.

---Kratos, 2F---

"AAAAARES!" Kratos yelled as he entered the second floor with, "THIS ACCURSED TOWER WOULD NOT DARE CHALLENGE ME WITH ANYTHING MORE THAN THE FORMER GOD OF WAR HIMSELF! FACE ME, COWARD!"

"Kratos…"

The new God of War turned to face something much worse than his former adversary. Before him was his wife and child.

"Kratos…" she said again.

"This… this cannot be!" Kratos said as he ran to the family he had slain years ago in his insanity. "You were… I struck you down myself!"

"Kratos!" the woman sobbed as she bent down to protect her daughter.

"It is I! I would never harm you again! I…"

"Kill them, Kratos," came the voice of Ares. The former God of War descended from the darkness above to Kratos side. "Kill them or face defeat."

"YOU!" Kratos yelled. He swung his blades of chaos at his former mentor, but they went right through him.

"I am dead, Kratos." Ares explained, "But your family is not. Hades resurrected them as payment for your services in killing me. But now, you must kill them again, or you shall forfeit your place in this tournament."

"…This is a mere illusion! You expect me to fall for such games?"

Ares smiled and closed his eyes as he evaporated into red particles that scattered and faded away into the darkness.

"Kratos, no!" his wife yelled. The God of War raised his blades…

---Tails, 2F---

"I… I can't do that!" Tails said as he shuddered to even think such a thing could be asked of him.

"Hey, it's up to you if you want to do it or not," Knuckles shrugged. "I do it all the time." He looked over to Sonic who was eating a chili dog with a pompous look on his face. "Hey, you stupid hedgehog! You're FAT!"

"Hey maaaan!" Sonic said, "Don't forget how you fell for RoBUTTnik's stupid lies!"

"See? Easy." Knuckles finished. "You try."

"There's no way I could insult Sonic!" Tails huffed, "I'm going to sit right here until you tell me to do something else!"

"Fine by me," Knuckles said with another shrug. He went to join Sonic in the eating of delicious chili dogs, "By the way, I love the pun in your name."

Tails say on the ground with his arms crossed, half thinking about what to do with the situation, and half trying to figure out what the pun was in 'Miles Prower.'

---Flannery, 3F---

The third floor was a hedge maze filled with grass type pokemon. Mostly Oddishes, and a few Glooms.

"This'll be like lighting a match, huh Charizard?" Flannery said. "OVERHEAT!"

Charizard body began to burn hotly. A flame engulfed the entire hedgemaze instantly knocking out all of the wild pokemon, as well as the hedges in the area. The floor was no longer a maze, but full of ashes. "I never did like grass very much." Flannery said.

The stairs had come in plain sight, and the two ran up them without facing any more opposition.

---Duke Nukem, 2F--

"...here's another five hundred dollars. This time do try to save enough to make it to the next floor, won't you?" Lara said.

Duke tried sticking a couple of one dollar bills down Lara's shirt, but she grabbed him by the arm, and told him to go on. It wasn't five minutes until he was back once again.

"I'm not sure you get the concept here, Duke. You are supposed to save twenty dollars so you can go to the next floor. You've already spent two hundred thousand dollars. Just what were you planning on doing?"

"The Duke is no cheapskate!" he said proudly. "I've already tipped most of these women enough money to pay off their college education! Cause I'm such a nice guy. And I get a lapdance for every thousand I spend!"

"Alright... this time I'm going to give you enough money that you CANNOT possibly spend it all. This is one thousand dollars. That ought to be---"

"Dukey!" a blonde eighteen year old, wearing a thong and nothing more called out. "You're going to give me that money-woney aren't you?"

"Of course, anything for you Candy! Cause I"ve got... balls of steel!" He then handed her the thousand dollars.

"Thanks!" Candy said, before kissing Duke, and then rubbing up against him.

Lara then gave him two thousand more dollars, and it wasn't long before a brunette who also looked about eighteen, wearing only a pair of high heels walked up to Duke, and asked him for the money. And like the first one, he gave her the money too.

Lara stood shaking her head, as Duke made out with both Candy and the brunette.

---Kratos, 3F---

Kratos, already covered with blood, spilled a fresh supply as he cut the necks of harpies that were swooping down upon him.

"Do not toy with me, evil tower!" Kratos screamed as he disemboweled an undead soldier that tried to sneak up on him. "I grow tired of your games!"

---Flannery, 4F---

The fourth floor had turned into the Cerulean City Gym. And waiting for Flannery there, was Misty who was also wearing a bikini.

"Oh, so you think you're hot stuff huh?" Misty said. "Well, I'm a gym leader too, and everyone knows that Water always beats fire!"

"We'll see about that!" Flannery said. "I'm too hot to handle, for you!"

"Let's get this battle started then!" Misty said. "Staryu, go!"

Staryu jumped into the pool in the gym. "Watergun now!"

"Dodge it, Charizard!"

Charizard flew out of the way. "Thunderpunch!"

"NO!!!" misty screamed, as Charizard unleashed an electrified punch, knocking out Misty's Staryu in a single hit.

"Hmph. That was just a warm up!" Misty said.

"I could tell." Flannery said. "I'm not even close to sweating!"

Misty growled. Charizard defense was lowered. "GO STARMIE!"

"Thunderpunch, and end this Charizard!"

Charizard unleashed another electrified punch... But Starmie wasn't immediately knocked out. Misty gave her injured pokemon a potion. "Hit it again!".

Charizard hit it again, and Misty gave it another potion. This wasn't going to be as easy as a single Thunderpunch.

"Smokescreen!" Flannery demanded. And smoke filled the gym. Misty coughed, as she commanded Starmie to use Bubble Beam. Despite Flannery's planning, the Bubble Beam still hit Charizard, knocking it back towards the wall.

"One more time, and this could be over!" Misty shouted with excitement. She jumped up and down with glee, seeing this Fire Trainer having trouble now.

"Toxic!" Flannery shouted.

"Shake it off!" Misty shouted out. But Starmie was unable to avoid the intense poison that Charizard was spewing out.

"Bubblebeam!" Misty shouted. Once again, Starmie shot a stream of bubbles at Charizard. But afterwards it was badly damaged by poison. And Charizard was still standing after the powerful attack, although just barely.

"THUNDERPUNCH!" Flannery begged Charizard, which followed through with it's most powerful electrical punch yet. This was enough to knock Starmie out, and give Flannery the win.

Misty Growled again. She couldn't believe she lost to a fire trainer! How embarrassing! "Fine, you may go to the next level."

The stairs appeared behind Misty. A smile was spread across Flannery's face. She had just beaten a water gym trainer with a single fire pokemon. She was satisfied with her performance. And that of her pokemon.

---Duke Nukem, 2F---

A hundred thousand dollars later, and Lara was totally fed up. Duke had given his last five thousand dollars to a red head that was wearing nothing but boots. As the red head gave Duke a lapdance, Lara walked over to the stairs, and paid the man there $20 herself.

"Why didn't I do this before?" she said to herself. And soon Tartarus made all the girls disappear. It wasn't a second later, that Duke found himself kissing the air.

"What happened?" Duke demanded. "Where did they go?!"

"To the third floor." Lara lied.

"Of course!" Duke said, as he ran up the stairs.

---Kratos, 4F---

"Face me, Ares!" Kratos growled as he paced around the rich Roman villa. He passed through the foyer and into the atrium. There was lounging a fat and quite inebriated man.

"Ohhhh, Ares this, Ares that, when will anybody ever fear Dionysus, God of Wine and Drunken Revelry?"

"Dionysus? By the Gods…"

"Yes! That's me! A God!" Dionysus rose to his feet and stumbled a bit, "But everyone forgets Dionysus! Every time you wake up and ask yourself 'Dude, where's my car?', it's all me! All of it! But nooo, nobody fears *hic* Dionysus and his wine! I bet I could kill more—"

"ENOUGH!" Kratos yelled, "Whom do I have to kill, Dionysus?"

"Why, Kratos, I am… offended! *hic*" Dionysus slurred as he poured more wine. He missed and it spilled onto his black toga. "To advance, you have to kill little old me."

"Simple enough." Kratos swung his chained blade right as Dionysus's neck, but made contact with nothing. Dionysus disappeared and reappeared right next to Kratos and put his arm around him.

"How about a drink?" Dionysus smiled.

---Duke Nukem, 3F---

Duke was momentarily upset that the girls were not on this floor. But he figured they must have already went on to the fourth floor. And then he saw the Pig Cops.

"Holy ****!" Duke said. "DID THESE ****ing PIGS KILL THE GIRLS?!"

He then took out his biggest gun, and began blowing them to bits. Kicking ass, taking names, and leaving them in the dust.

"YEAH! I REALLY COOKED YOUR BACON DIDN'T I! DON'T MESS WITH THE DUKE! I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL BOYS!"

He blasted his way through the third floor, and then finally made it up the steps to the fourth floor.

---Duke Nukem, 4F---

On the fourth floor, Duke found that he was on a football field. And on the field were cheerleaders in skimpy uniforms.

"Hell yeah!" Duke shouted. "Costumes. Kinky!"

But then what he saw, wasn't so kinky. It was a giant alien that he hadn't seen before. And it was charging right for him.

"Alright, time to kick some ass, and chew some gum, and I'm all out of..."

But then Duke realized that the stride gum he had in his mouth. And it still had flavor! After all that time!

"Damn... this has never happened before. The Duke is... impotent?!"

The giant alien kept charging at him. Duke covered his head, and closed his eyes. "Damn you Rise! If only I were out of gum!"

---Kratos, 4F---

"And don't even get me started on Iron Man!" Dionysus ranted. Kratos continued attempting to hit him, but to not avail. As Dionysus rambled, Kratos would try every attack and method of killing things that he ever learned, but none could connect. "Everyone is making out that damned Tony Stark out to be such a big hero again thanks to Robert Downey Jr. and that damned new movie. Well remember how in the 80s Iron Man had a drinking problem and lost to Stilt Man in a fight and then cursed out Doctor Doom on live TV at the UN? That was all me, and I totally just slipped a little something into John Favreau's beer. Guess what's happening in Iron Man 3!"

"ENOUGH OF THESE GAMES, MAD DIONYSUS!" Kratos yelled, "Stand still! I must crush you!"

"Oooo, look at you go!" Dionysus smiled as Kratos swung madly. Dionysus teleported all over the Roman household, drinking the day away as Kratos smashed the expensive vases, shrines and wall decorations with his blades. "You'd think the big new God of War would be… be *hic* able to kill the lowly God of Drinking! How about you… you relax and… have some wine? *hic*"

"…I think I will, actually." Kratos said.

"W-What?" Dionysus stuttered.

"I'd like a drink," Kratos explained, "Swinging around my blades takes a lot of energy. I'd like some whine."

"I… Ummm…" Dionysus seemed quite inebriated, "OK…"

He conjured up an empty wine glass and a bottle of wine from the finest vineyards of Rome. It floated in the air and poured itself into the glass. As it finished, Dionysus slowly wobbled it over to Kratos who… chopped off Dionysus's arm.

"Oh…" Dionysus said as he looked down at his stub, "If I wasn't so drunk I probably wouldn't have fallen for that. But I'd probably also be able to feel excruciating pain…"

Dionysus passed out. Kratos wasn't sure if it was from the blood loss or just being drunk as sin, but he wasn't going to argue. The God strode up the stairs to the fifth floor.

---Tails, 2F---

"Give up?" Knuckles asked Tails, who hadn't budged.

"Nope," Tails answered, steadfast, "You?"

"I make the rules; why would I give up?" Knuckles chuckled. "Did you figure out the pun?"

"No, but—"

Knuckles leaned over and whispered into Tails's fox ear. The small furry boy's eyes widened in shocking realization.

"I can't believe my parents would give me such a joke name!" Tails said as he put his hand to his head. "My entire life is a sham… Hey, Sonic! You smell like rotten eggs!"

"Ha! That—" Knuckles began congratulating Tails, but was cut off.

"Not only that, but you haven't been cool since you fought Biolizard. You started hanging out with a bunch of... of... LOSERS! Like Big the Cat. You used to be cool!"

"Wow, I think you just destroyed his self-respect," Knuckles commented as he noticed Sonic dropping his chili dog and assuming the fetal position. "Too bad it doesn't matter. Flannery, Charizard and Kratos reached the fifth floor a long time ago. Good job overcoming your mental blocks, though!"

---Duke Nukem, 4F---

Duke waited for his impending doom. A giant alien was charging at him after all. But to his surprise, he wasn't curb stomped by the alien. Instead he was saved!

"Ms. Boobs! With the money!" Duke exclaimed, seeing that Lara had just saved him.

"Tomb Raider forever!" She shouted, as she easily shot down the alien.

"Thanks for saving me!" Duke said. "How can I ever repay you!?"

"You can start by paying me back all the money you owe me... let's see here... $310,000 ought to do it..."

"uhhh... yeah about that." Duke said, as he began to run up to the fifth floor. But he was stopped.

"Sorry Dukey!" Rise said. "But Kratos and Flannery have already made it to the fifth floor."

"Damn it!" Duke shouted. "And now I owe a huge bill.... how about I sleep with you and we call me even?"

"You couldn't PAY me to sleep with you!" Lara said, disgusted.

"how about to NOT sleep with you?! eh'?" Duke asked.

Lara shook her head. "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way." Lara told him.

And before long, Duke was whisked back off to the first floor. If only he could have done something faster. Like kill the giant alien. Sure it was LARA that did it. But that's only cause he still had some gum. And Duke... was always a man of his word.

After Duke made his way back to the first floor...

"We just missed him!" A strange woman said. "We just wanted him to spit the gum out! I thought for sure the giant Alien would work..."

---First Floor---

"Uh... Can I get my clothes back?" Flannery asked, still in the blue bikini provided for her by Tartarus.

Mitsuru shook her head. "I'm afraid not. Whatever is lost in Tartarus, stays in Tartarus."

Duke on the other hand was fuming mad. "GOD D---" he began to say, before Rise handed him another stick of gum. Duke spit the piece he had in his mouth out, and replaced it with the one Rise had given him. "arn it." He said. "I can't believe that the king lost, baby. Hey this Orbitz gum is pretty darn good. But I'm still gosh darned mad that this mean tower gave me trouble."

But he still had to figure out how he'd pay Lara back. Maybe he could get a job! Now that... was an idea.

~*Post Match*~

"Hey, Tails!" Sonic greeted as he came to a screeching halt when he noticed his passing friend. "How'd the match thing go?"

"Get out of my face, you freaking hedgepig," Tails spat, "You know that foxes eat hedgehogs in other worlds? Fun fact: I have more fans than you. Go rot in hell, Sonic."

With that, Tails flew off into the distance, leaving Sonic quite confused and offended.


End file.
